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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Probably am BU, but a bit miffed at the nursery

9 replies

Bumperlicious · 21/01/2010 20:11

DD is 2.5 and goes to nursery 1 day a week. She rarely sleeps there though she needs to really and is very crabby without it. She loves her dummies but knows that they are for sleep time only, or in extreme circumstances. The nursery know we prefer her not to have them unless she is inconsolable.

Today she was particularly tired and the deputy manager said that she'd asked for dummies a couple of times and was very upset (tired) so she told her she could have them then didn't give them to her. I was a bit at this and probed and she said that she had said she would get them which stopped her crying then left the room and didn't come back for while until she'd forgotten about them. Now is this smart work or just plain mean? I'm thinking it's a bit mean.

The nursery are ok in general. I don't have any real issue with the way they look after DD, though I don't feel like I get value for money (£42 a day! 8.30 till 5.30) and they aren't great communicators. For instance according to their notes DD ate all of her dinner today but it was roast chicken, carrots and broccoli, but I can almost guarantee that she wouldn't have eaten the broccoli, she thinks it is 'too yucky', maybe she did, but she said she didn't. Anyway, that's an aside, she likes it there, but I just felt that the nursery deputy was a bit mean today.

OP posts:
pooexplosions · 21/01/2010 20:15

I think thats fine. you told them not to give her a dummy unless inconsolable, and if she stopped crying and then forgot about it she obviously wasn't.
If you don't trust what they are writing in the diary you need to speak to them about it. I can't imagine what they would gain by lying about it though, and many children eat things at nursery that they wouldn't at home.

thrifty · 21/01/2010 20:16

i suppose she probably forgot as your dd had stopped crying. had she continued crying I'm sure she would have got the dummy for her. Nursery is probably too exciting for your dd to sleep iyswim. also £42 is very reasonable for a day, especially if they are feeding her!

muddleduck · 21/01/2010 20:21

YABU

tbh if this is the worst of your nursery complaints then you're doing pretty well IMO

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/01/2010 20:30

No, it's not being mean - it's called diversion! And is one of the very best techniques for dealing with kids this age. She was only trying to keep to your rules re the dummy and did it in an age appropriate way imo.

Also I wouldn't think it was an issue re the broccoli, lots of kids eat stuff at nursery that they don't at home.

Bumperlicious · 21/01/2010 21:18

That's ok, happy if you think IABU it's just DH and I were a bit about it.

The food thing is just that I don't think they communicate properly and probably made it up because they couldn't remember. Not a big deal I know. My complaints with the nursery are mainly value for money and how well they communicate, £42 is one of the more expensive in my area and while they feed her they only feed her one main meal and then afternoon tea. They're ok, and I wouldn't take her out because she likes it but lots of niggly things bug me and this was one of them.

The nursery worker didn't forget btw she was doing it deliberately. I just thought it was a bit mean, I wouldn't offer DD something if I wasn't going to give it. I wish she'd bloody sleep though, it makes her very crabby! They say she just talks to much to sleep

OP posts:
mumblecrumble · 21/01/2010 21:23

Our dd is similar.... SHe eats things at nursery she doesn;t at home (other kids eating it I guess) and she never sleeps. This works weel as on my day off after her nursery day she has a long nap and I get lots of house/school work done.

I'd have a word with the boss and say this sinlt how you want your kid to be treated

NeedCoffee · 21/01/2010 21:24

My DD 2.3 goes to 2 different nurseries-there are niggly little things with both of them that I don't like. I pay about £28 each day, if it's longer it can go up to £30 but they are both budget nurseries so not sure about the 'avarage'. TBH it sounds like they where just diverting her, not sure why they felt the need to even tell you really, and be greatful you get to know what she's eaten in the day, I never get told and noone ever seems to know when I ask.

NeedCoffee · 21/01/2010 21:26

God I can't even spell
grateful

And my point was that I think you're not alone in getting niggly feelings, think its bound to happen though, noone can do it as well as us

skinsl · 21/01/2010 21:35

yeah, I wouldn't worry too much. I do that all the time with DS, yes I'm going to get you more milk/dummy, and then he forgets. It is diversion. And I have seen DS eat loads of things when sitting with other kids, that he wouldn't eat at home.

If you are worried, let them know that you want to know if there are any issues at all.

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