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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to have to leave my job

8 replies

GingaNinja · 21/01/2010 15:40

I was supposed to return to work on Jan 4th. DD has been in nursery since then anyway which has saved my sanity. DH got moved away from home by work in October - 'for two months'. This is week 15. Quite apart from the fact I'm struggling to cope on my own, it now looks as though I'm going to have to resign as my request to change start time has been turned down three times now (I start at half 7; I've requested 8am as the creche doesn't open till 7.15 and even breaking every speed limit on empty roads I can not get to work before 7.40 at earliest). Originally, DH was to leave DD to creche and I'd pick up.

I'm particularly pissed because DH only told me he was going to be working away on the weekend before it started. No consultation or discussion. And the 2 months became February and then seems to have become March most recently. He works in construction and the company have no other contracts (to date). I work in a factory for a global company who are in rude health; my job pays the health insurance (we don't live in the UK so yes, it's very necessary) and I'm the only one of us with a pension sorted out. My job would also be secure for at least a couple of years. DH: if he leaves, he won't get redundancy. Me: Well, no shit sherlock, cos if I leave neither will I. We would also have to repay health insurance premiums etc to the company for the time I've been on unpaid leave (fortunately, Global Co agreed with short notice that I could take the max amount of unpaid additional maternity leave permitted when I phoned from Shit Creek back in October).

I feel like I've been shat on by DH once re: being effectively left to bring up DD on my own. And I'm probably now going to have to leave my job, that I like and have great colleagues, to try and find something else in the middle of a recession, so dumped on again.

Oh, and according to DH, childcare is my problem.

OP posts:
UnderneathTheStream · 21/01/2010 15:46

I don't have children so can't really help, just wanted to say that sounds really difficult and I reckon he's being an arse to say childcare is your problem..

Would a childminder do an early hour?

nbee84 · 21/01/2010 15:50

Could you get a local student to work for an hour before college in the mornings? They could take your dd to nursery for you. What about paying one of the nursery nurses from the nursery to pick up your child on their way into work?

There must be a way round this that doesn't involve giving up your job.

msrisotto · 21/01/2010 15:52

Oh, and according to DH, childcare is my problem.

I can't believe this! He's being a total shit. Can any family members help you out wrt childcare? What you do with him is another matter......

tigercub · 21/01/2010 15:53

Does your employer have a child care policy? I would expect in the UK that any parent with a child under 6 would be able to apply for flexible working on this basis. Good luck, sounds like hell!

msrisotto · 21/01/2010 15:53

Oh, and you'd be mad to give up your job, there has to be a way around this.

mistletoekisses · 21/01/2010 16:09

Have you advertised for anyone to cover that hour in the mornings? I advertised on netmums and found a nanny willing to work 7am-8am the 3 days I was at work. Had to pay generously, but was totally worth it. I made it to work for 7.30 and nanny dropped DS off at the nursery when it opened at 8.

Failing that, will someone in the nursery be willing to cover at home and take your DD to creche?

Final option - can you move your DD to a nursery close to your work? Do a drop later and make it to work for 7.30?

I agree would be madness to quit a job in this climate!

FimbleHobbs · 21/01/2010 16:25

I would be so cross with DH at this!

Could you ask the nursery to make a special arrangement and open 15 mins early for you until March? Ours does this by special arrangement (for a fee of course!)

GingaNinja · 21/01/2010 21:06

Ooer lots of people logged on! Cor, ta for the support. Unfortunately, as per previous reply to Secret, out in the middle of nowhere (20 mins drive to Fr Ted's house on Craggy Island for eg. Seriously.) and the creche is the only one I found on the flightpath from here to work - and it's also one of the earliest opening. Every other place I looked at didn't open it's doors till 8am. Nanny for early part of the day for 5 days a week would probably put the mockers on working at all - it would cost more to go to work than I'd bring home and although I miss work, I ain't that cracked. Yet. The really galling thing is that this situation is entirely due to a lack of 10 sodding minutes leeway from work re: start time. As well as DH fecking off to work elsewhere...

Oh to be back in the UK where you have some legal rights re: flexible working, parental leave etc. Times like this I wish we'd never left (I'm English; DH is Irish). Ireland doesn't even have paid paternity leave, and your partner usually has to fight tooth and nail to take unpaid - DH had to work up days to take 3 days off when DD was born.

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