Aibu to expect more time from DH to think?

[LMAR74]

DH and I have been having a lot of problems in our relationship for 12+ months. At the end of November I was using our laptop and found a link to a singles/dating website. He was still logged on and I found all sorts of emails to/from other women. There was also exchanges of naked photos.
I did some more digging and also found him on 2 other similar websites. He was offering himself up for discreet XXX fun and had a variety of 'likes' that I was unaware of on his 'naughty CV' (their terminology not mine).
I didn't confess I knew about this as I wanted Christmas to be as good as possible for DS.
DH has now found out that I know about his online antics. He has assured me he never met up with anyone and I do believe him.
He has apologised. Told me he wants us to keep trying to sort out our problems. And told me he will never do the online thing again.
He is now pressuring me to start to try and make things work.
Aibu to want more time before I decide if I can keep trying?

obviously yanbu, that's quite a serious breach isn't it

Completely agree with thesecondcoming

my ex did this too. but op,do you TRULY believe he hasnt met with any of these women?

the intention was clearly there...and he's only going to be more careful now he's been caught.

Take all the time you need, it is a hard decision and if he pushes you into making it before you are ready, not only will you resent him for what he has done but also for not giving you the space.

Thankyou for advise and comments.
Am going to push back and make sure I take some time to decide how I really feel about it. And also do more digging on related sites. Was interested in your comment, Lulubelerama about the swinging/orgy stuff as I have reason to suspect that too.
How do you go about that though?? It is all so hard

i just gogled the email address the ex used (one made up for this purpose) then all the ad's he's placed came up!! i was bloody shocked

This is exactly how my Ex-H started out with his deceipt....The lying sounds exactly the same and it ending in his staying out all night on numerous occassions.... ( cheating )

All whilst we had a 2 year old DC...

You need to face the truth.... Sorry

Firstly, your DH sounds like a selfish twunting fuckwit of the first order!! you would be well within your rights to kick his arse out of the door.

Because he has behaved like a twat, the balls in your court, not his - tell him he is not to pressure you, that YOU will decide in YOUR time.

Why have you had a rough patch? Is there something in the background?

Maybe he would consider something like relate in order to assure you that this was a blip??

my q re the bad patch was not excusing his behaviour though

There is loads of stuff in the background. We have both changed a lot. We have been together for 10 years and I think I have found things hard for many many years of that. We argue about lots of stuff - but reverse to a lot of couples. He says I work too much/hard and have no work life balance (even though I hold down a demanding full time job and pick up DS twice a week and drop off once a week. I am 100% dedicated to family life from Friday afternoon to Monday morning). We struggle with different goals and ideas for the future. We want different things out of life. We disagree about money.
We are not a happy couple!
But despite all of that, I don't think that the online behaviour is aceeptable, regardless of how things are between us. Advertising yourself online for sex is stepping firmly over the line.
Yet still I struggle on how to move from this position forward. Breaking up seems an impossible mountain to climb, mainly due to practical reasons.
Staying together to try again feels as though we are putting off the inevitable.
Pah. It's all very hard - I think I need encouragement!

YANBU

if he is serious about things working out then he needs to give you as much time as you need.

Grubby doings online aside, the fact that you say you want different things out of life screams volumes ... no wonder you're always disagreeing and not happy. It must be like living with the enemy.