AIBU to be very shocked only 3% of unmarried parents stay together until child is 16!

[littlemoominmamma]

3% is nothing!!! It is soooo sad. 1 out of every 3 couples have seperated before the child is 5yrs old

I am now glad that the tories are going to give married couples help.

upandrunning: "But if married people are more likely to stay together which evidence shows"

I dispute the implication that marriage helps people stay together. There is no evidence for this.

There is a relation but no evidence so far for it to be causal.

But I have argued why before and evidently you do not understand the argument so I will desist from explaining it again.

upandrunning I note that lovelycofee called you abusive. Earlier on, she called me aggressive.
I don't think that she likes it when people disagree with her.

um, thats ganging up that is fembear!! ummmmmmm, im telling!

more importantly, what IS that man demonstrating with that woman on the MNTV thing> ive not clicked on it i dont have any sound on my computor, but i just wondered if anyone had an idea what he was saying - caption comp anyone?

LucyEllensmadmummy I think you are right, some of the less 'romantic' reasons for getting married mentioned on this thread are either incorrect, or can be circumvented provided a couple stay together.

Parents who register the birth of a child together are automatically given joint parental responsibility (since 2003), the vast majority of hospitals will observe the wishes of an unmarried partner (I have experienced this first hand) into account and a living will can also address this. Wills and life insurance can be written in such as way as to not disadvantage a partner.

I guess the main issues arise in the case of a split, particularly where the man is the main breadwinner.

Some of it can get complicated and requires advice from a solicitor. But most (I hesitate to say all as I am not an expert) can be sorted out.

I am proud to say I respect the wishes of people as individuals (and couples) as to whether they get married or not. Lets not rush to judge each other. Believe me when I say I could not be more committed to DP, I love him dearly but I will not, ever, marry him or anyone else.

Don't know but someone should tell him that it's rude to point.
There's a bit of a purple thing going on ... oooh, is it something to do with Cadbury's chocolate Is he showing her where the tell-tale Flake crumbs are?

PCSMUM, what did I say that was terrible? I didn't make any judgement on whether the state was right or wrong to enable single parenthood, and I made no comment on whether the removal of social stigma was a good or bad thing. I merely pointed out the obvious connection to the current statistics!

upandrunning - I know meita's post at 13.27 was long, but we would all be really obliged if you could read it please?

Maybe, or maybe it is her dad and he is pointing out to her mother where the lovebits (hiccys) are! no hang on, they are looking in the mirror - he is saying "you are not going out in THAT" you must cover yourself up, its cold out

watching it with no sound - it looks like he is some sort of style guru??

yes fb-- have also been accused of lowering the tone..

possibly achieved by

"another great statistic gathered by 'i pulled it out of my tory arse corp" and " Oh FFS. Oh actually I can't be arsed. Go away. It's too early."

on the first page

then there was the arse and shit comment, just charming and not at all unintelligent

"Some of it can get complicated and requires advice from a solicitor. But most (I hesitate to say all as I am not an expert) can be sorted out." If you are prepared to go to all that trouble why not just get married? If you want to keep things informal - don't bother. Noone else need be any the wiser - don't confuse getting married with having a big wedding, you can just as easily nip down the register office, get a couple of witnesses off the street and tell noone (if you are worried about offending friends and relations who might think they should have been invited).
"I think its very sad that marriage is pared down to a legal protection thing - i think if i were teetering one way or other, that might actually persuade me NOT to get married, but thats because im an old romantic." A very strong motivation for me to get married was that I wanted to be my husband's next of kin (and him to be mine) - that is down to a "legal protection thing", but I also think it's quite a romantic reason too.

i know what you mean re the next of kin thing, although that has always been me on any legal forms etc

"Is it really hard to believe that I am as committed to my partner as any married woman is to her husband?" Not at all, but nor is it hard to believe that couples (in general -though not in your particular case) are more likely to split up if they are not married - which is what this thread was originally about.

I don't know if your dp has any living relatives LucyEllensmadmummy, but I wonder if writing it on the form would be enough if it came to the crunch (would hate to be arguing the toss over a life support machine).

"And as discussed marriage doesn't make a relationship more likely to survive"

Yes it does. I entirely understand meita's comments regarding the difference between correlation and cause-and-effect but the facts are that marrieds are more likely to stay together. Being married isn't some magic glue but if the other half refuses to marry then you have to start pondering why. Better to be wise before the event.
(I know all the happily un-marrieds are going to take offence at this but I can't think how to express it better before the thread moves on. apologies)

According to this: static.advicenow.org.uk/files/Next_of_Kin003-988.pdf

there is no legal definition of 'next of kin'.

Do a quick google search - you will find that most NHS hospitals accept partners as next of kin.

Ah right, so, my DP doesn't want to get married, i would but im not too bothered - perhaps i should leave him then and get add to the statistics!

Just silly

brambly, that is really interesting - it is something that i have obviously thought about.

I think there are two things going on in this thread

1. Married couples make better parents - obviously bullshit

1. There are legal ramifications to not being married - yes, however people weigh this up, don't they?

Quite possible, Bramblyhedge, we've lived all over the world though - so I like to make sure I'm covered wherever we may be.