that dh wants to go to party without me

[Irishchic]

My DH goes out every thursday night with a few friends, never a mad one, always home around 12.30.

So he will be out tomorrow night and sat night we have been invited to friends for dinner so will be getting a babysitter in.

I had planned to go to the cinema with a couple of friends on fri night in the expectation that dh would babysit.

A couple who we don't know all that well have now invited us to their housewarming on fri night. Dh wanted me to cancel on the cinema with my friends and do this instead. But I don't want to do that as I think it would be a bit rude, and anyway am looking forward to seeing the film with them.

So Dh now wants to go on his own, knowing a few people he knows will be there. He is happy to pay a sitter for another night and that's not an issue.

He just can't bear the thought of missing out on a party. I don't think he sHould go without me, I wouldnt go without him, everyone there will be in couples. And I don't like that I will get in by midnight and he will probably rock up to the door about 2 to 3am, and keep me up all night with drunken snoring.

Why can't he just bloody babysit his own kids for a change and miss the party of people he doesnt even know that well? Why would you go to a party like this on your own? He's already going out thurs and fri night anyway, shouldnt that be enough, he's 40 not 25...

AIBU?

yanbu

you've already made plans but I guess if he is prepared to get the sitter in you can't stop him

How do you babysit your own children??

YABU, its not a weekly event that he goes out 3 nights on the trot. He sounds like a social creature, as long as he is not out tarting it up with loose women ( ) then I can't see the problem.

YABU, sorry
he's getting a babysitter so what's the problem?
you were both invited
the party hosts could be potential new friends
ask him to sleep in the spare room if he comes in trolleyed

YABU a bit though he sounds like he wants his own way but asking, (telling?) you to cancel your plans to go with him. You go with your friends, let him pay for a baby sitter and tell him not to wake you when he gets in.

He really wants me to cancel on the girls but am not going to do that, i think it would be rude tbh.

I suppose I would just prefer that given that I already had plans, he would content himself at home, totally unrealistic of me obviously!

You shouldn't cancel - rude

He can go if he wants, but seriously , does he not want to see his kids?

Am of your social lives

Nikita - I'd feel the same way as you and yes we prob are being a little unreasonable

If this were me I'd go out to the pics with the girls and then join him at the party!

Oh, and you have the right to go out to a night out with your friends rather than worrying that your kids are unsettled with the babysitter.

can't remember which way this is going...yanbu I think

Thanks purpleduck - this is an unusual week for us, no social life for months, (me anyway) then 3 things going on in one week!!

Yes I would prefer to know that he was there, I don't like having a sitter there two nights in a row.

He's just told me he is going to ask his mum to do it, so that's good at least.

you are right to stick to your original cinema plan.

YABU to think he should not go to a party without you

no no no no no this is all wrong - he is not babysitting, they are HIS children!! feck!

YANBU, he absolutely shouldnt be going without you. You had first dibs on the night out on friday - tough on him

oh of course, you COULD, now you have his mum to babysit - go to the cinema and then join DH at the party?

Yes I may do that actually, also means I can drag him home whenever I want to go!