To change my mind about Bridemaids because

[sadmamma]

my social life has changed and my best friend and I have grown apart,on several occasions I have invited her and the other godmother of my daughter to come out but that have declined and joined togther to go out with their kids on alot of occasions sometimes I have not be invited which I kind of understand.
I understand their children are different ages to mine but she does not make the effort that I feel I did when hers where babies and she had knowone, im the one who calls her and she has started to tell me fibs about social events, I feel she is no longer a big part of my life so when i say I do would I BU not to have her by side as my Bridemaid.

YANBU like you said, you've grown apart.

have you already asked her to be your bridesmaid ?

Of course not. There's no obligation to have bridesmaids at all, and if you do have them they should be the people who really care about you.

YANBU, I had, what I thought, was 2 close friends as BM and shortly after the wedding, we stopped speaking.

I was ill and had to leave work, they were never there for me at all, even though I always made time for them. My hen night was left to them to sort out and it was bloody awful for me. I've always looked back and hated it while they went on about what a great night it was.

Now I feel it was a waste to spend money on having them as bridesmaids and I look at my wedding photos, thinking how they really let me down tbh.

I should have just stuck to my sisters and not had any friends. HTH.

I has asked her and the godmother but we are not getiing married for a while as we are buying a house and said this was top of the list.
We may go off with our kids and just get married as I can not be bothered with the hassal and I want it just to be Dp and two children.

You could always say you have decided not to have BM now as you are trying to keep costs down, what with your house and everything. If they are doing things in secret without you anyway, will they be that bothered?

Thanks coldhands Im going to have my daughter and son take part so Im not worried about the rest.

Sounds like a good idea to me. You could also say you are just going to have family ie DCs taking actual part in the wedding.