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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

nursery "limiting" food

43 replies

mixedmamameansbusiness · 18/01/2010 15:54

The nursery staff mentioned to me this afternoon that DS2 (2 yr old) loves his food. Then she said they have to limit him as he will just go on and on.

I am a litle about this to be honest. he has a good appetite and needs to fulfil it, havent told DH yet but i dont think he is going to be pleased.

So am I reasonable to think they shouldnt relaly be limiting his intake of proper food, I would understand if it was sweets or whatever, but really his lunch?

Maybe I am overacting but it just feels a little wrong.

OP posts:
Meglet · 18/01/2010 15:58

Do they let him have seconds of the main meal? If they are letting him have seconds then saying he can't have anymore he's not likely to go hungry is he.

My dc's nursery lets them have seconds, but I think they would draw the line at thirds!

Reallytired · 18/01/2010 16:11

My son ended up obsese at the age of three because his nursery allowed him unlimited amounts of food.

I suppose a lot depends on how much your ds is eating. Its not as if he is being starved.

BirdyBedtime · 18/01/2010 16:15

I think this is terrible. When my DD was younger we regularly used to be told that she'd had seconds of lunch, or 'finished what X had left'. She has always been stick thin, so unless your DS is overweight I'd ask the nursery to let him satisfy his appetite (as long as it's not chocolate/crisps as you say)

Rockbird · 18/01/2010 16:19

Depends. What exactly did they say? What did you say? Did you ask them exactly what they meant by that and what they see limiting as? I'd be a bit tbh but it really does depend on what your DS is like with food.

waitingforbedtime · 18/01/2010 16:19

I think seconds is fine but its fair enough to limit him to that tbh

CirrhosisByTheSea · 18/01/2010 16:59

I think more info needed - having lunch and then seconds, and a snack mid morning and mid pm if there all day would sound absolutely fine to me so if that's the scenario then I think the nursery are doing an ok job

'just going on and on' is not a healthy way for anyone to eat, even a toddler, imo

CMOTdibbler · 18/01/2010 17:02

At Ds's nursery they can have seconds of main course, but not of pudding, which I think is fine. Especially as they have food every 2 hours or so

chopstheduck · 18/01/2010 17:03

I agree you need to check what he is eating.

Children do sometimes overeat if allowed to. dd would be very overweight if I let her eat as much as she wanted to. She always has had a good appetite and is 9 now and still hasnt learned when to stop.

PixieOnaLeaf · 18/01/2010 18:41

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diddl · 18/01/2010 18:47

Depending on the size of the portions I´m not sure that seconds are reasonable tbh.

thesecondcoming · 18/01/2010 18:50

This reply has been deleted

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duchesse · 18/01/2010 18:52

Depends on his body shape tbh. If he's a lean rangy boy constantly on the go, he may need it. If he's a little on the portly side they probably are doing it for his good.

Original poster
mixedmamameansbusiness · 19/01/2010 09:14

I didnt really ask yesterday as it was just sort of said in conversation, and I wasnt really sure what I thought until I got home to think about it.

Their portions are definitely smaller than what we have at home, in the morning the amount of cereal they give is miniscule, so I always do it myself.

I dont imagine they are starving him and he is very very active. I will ask some more questions I think as I dont really know enough and I am very happy with them overall.

In relation to snacks though, they have a plate of fruit (side plate) for about 15 children so I doubt the snacks are that satisfying.

But you are right I should check exactly what she means. I am sure they arent depriving him.

OP posts:
alibubbles · 19/01/2010 10:21

I have seen the portion size in some nurseries and heard from nursery nurses what is actually served up. If you have a healthy boy, he will not be be getting enough, so it is no surprise he wants to eat more. He has lots of energy and needs fuel!

I know that some of my minded children will eat huge amounts sometimes, but they are growing fast, and at other times very little. Children generally have a good idea of what they need to eat, you can't force them to eat if they don't want to. If it is good healthy food, it ill do no harm.

Morloth · 19/01/2010 10:30

People are always amazed at the amount of food DS can put away - usually more than me. But he is a bean pole who just runs and runs and runs. If he is particularly active then he is going to need fuel.

You really do need to dig deeper to find out what they are feeding him as well as how much. Protein is really important and I have noticed that a lot of "kid's" food is mostly carbs, which doesn't fill and doesn't last.

TheLemur · 20/01/2010 15:11

alibubbles that is really interesting. I agree that toddlers are pretty good at regulating their food intake (especially over a few days) and should be allowed as much (or little) as they want.

I dislike it when my nursery (gently) discipline my ds for not eating much lunch - it's usually just because he fancied 3 weetabix that morning (and he's not portly, just toddlerishly chunky)

Also agree with you OP when you mention nursery portion sizes - I was shocked when my nursery gave DS only 1 weetabix and didn't offer another.

Nurserys do have budgets for food so one wonders how much quality/quantity is impacted by this. I strongly believe that we as parents pay them a lot of money (more than our mortgage) and our children should never be deprived seconds (or thirds). It makes me really angry when my DS comes home tantrumming due to hunger.

Fibilou · 20/01/2010 19:13

"Their portions are definitely smaller than what we have at home, in the morning the amount of cereal they give is miniscule, so I always do it myself. "

Mixedmama, please don't take this in the wrong way, but is it possible you might be giving too much and the nursery is giving standard portions ? My DH's family eat the most gigantic portions (DH will eat a whole pint basin of rice crispies in a sitting) and anything less than a groaning plate to him is a "small portion".

A standard serving of cereal is, i believe, 25g - it might be worth weighing this to see how much it is.

As a woman who has always struggled with her weight I know how easily a "home portion" can grow to quite a lot more than it should be

wifeofdoom · 20/01/2010 19:16

My dd will eat until she is sick if i didn't limit what she ate! I wouldn't get too worried, maybe just have a chat with them and give them some more filling snacks to give him each day?

alibubbles · 21/01/2010 08:43

Here is a brilliant menu plan with portion sizes, I use it for ideas. I have posted it before as there was a similar discussion a while back, - I have been here a long time!
menu plans for 1-3 year old It is a very interesting (free) publication

LadyintheRadiator · 21/01/2010 08:49

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frasersmummy · 21/01/2010 08:59

our nursery do serve by their own admission small portions. This is for a couple of reasons

kids can be overhwelmed by a big portion and therefore eat very little or nothing at all

they can try to encourage clean plates so they know the child has eaten enough to fuel then for the afternoon rather than trying to judge by how much is left

They can always offer more.

I think it all comes down to perspective..

When ds was rougly 2.5 they were having a pcinic lunch .. and they had a big platter of sandwches that the kids had what they wanted off
One of the staff was taking the platter away at the end and got distracted, put it down and went to do whatever. Then it was story time . The platter is at this point sitting beside ds.. they said he had a ball .. had about 4 sandwiches before they noticed...
they just thought it was funny and I said good for him

I know this would make some mothers say omg and they would be really angry at lax attitude of staff and the fact their child had been allowed to stuff himself

you know the staff, the ethos and your son .. take in the big picture

I dont think it would be unreasonable to find out more and stick your heels in if necessary

Alambil · 21/01/2010 09:20

"our children should never be deprived seconds (or thirds)"

Really?

Isn't that bordering on greed rather than hunger - their stomachs are only tiny! (clench their fist - that's their stomach IIRC)

thesecondcoming · 21/01/2010 09:23

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alambil · 21/01/2010 09:29

It's surprising how little food you actually need to process for energy, isn't it second - I looked into it when I started dieting too... was surprised at how massive my meals had been! (they didn't seem that big at the time though - just "normal")

HollyGoHeavily · 21/01/2010 09:29

Alibubbles - thanks for posting that menu planner. It makes for interesting reading - I think that I may be scrimping on DD1's mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks....