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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Want To End This Friendship?

13 replies

midori1999 · 18/01/2010 15:50

I have been friends with someone for almost a couple of years.

However, I am becomign icreasingly aware that this person is extremely superficial and materialistic about certain things and overly concerned about appearances. For example, she screamed at her DS2 for 'totally ruining' his brother's new scooter as he put it on the ground outside and it got a couple of small scratches.

The main thing that bothers me though, is her pets. She has a St Bernard that comes from what basically is a puppy farmer because she had to get a dog the day she decided to get one, although she knew the importance of health tests etc. The dog now has severe hip dysplacia and requires surgery which her insurance will not pay for. The operation will be expensive, but they could affor dit, however, she chose to spend thousands of pounds on two cosmetic surgeries and the dog is still waiting for it's operation. This person now says the dog doesn't need surgery and is fine, but I know that she has just decided that herself and the dog hasn't seent he vet again.

The friend also got a second dog. She had wanted another St Bernard, but again, couldn't get one the same day she decided, so got a pug instead. Didn't train it, the pug became a nightmare and she then decided to 'get rid' of it.

I also found out, as her husband mentioned it when I was there and the daughter was asking if she could have some rats (I have rats) that the last rat they had was left in a wardrobe in it's cage, forgotten about and starved to death. Obviously I find this mortifying.

There are other things, but it is mainly the lack of care for her pets that bothers me. Well, disgusts me actually. I have been avoidng her and I suspect she knows it. I don't really want a confrontation though. However, DH says I am being 'over the top' and am too particular about how animals are kept. Really?!

OP posts:
Two4One · 18/01/2010 15:52

How about you make your own decision about this ridiculous problem...

TheArmadillo · 18/01/2010 15:53

The starving the rat to death is horrific. Absolutely abominable.

The dog thing is also horrible.

I don't think you are being anywhere near over the top.

End the friendship and I would also get advice from the RSPCA.

SkipHopJump · 18/01/2010 15:54

I don't think you were mortified

BitOfFun · 18/01/2010 15:56

Sort of agree with Two4One really- you clearly don't think much of her, and have your reasons, regardless of your DH's opinion, so there's no need to ask. If you want to back off, then you can.

midori1999 · 18/01/2010 16:01

I've already made my decision, there is no way I can be friends with someone like this.

However, I was just asking if I was being unreasonable by doing so, as most people I know think I am 'over the top' about animal welfare, particularly dogs.

It's all a bit akward because of our living situation and the fact that her DH works for my DH. (we live on an army camp and everyone is kind of in each others pockets and everyone knows everyone. She is also my next door neighbour)

OP posts:
kinnies · 18/01/2010 16:02

Your 'friend' is a twat. I HATE people who are crule to animals. I'd report her to the rspca and have no more to do with her.

darkandstormy · 18/01/2010 16:45

your friend is vile if she treats any animal in this way.I would inform the rspca and I would also be mindful of the fact that those who neglect animals also tend to neglect their children.Actually to me ssounds like she has a personality disorder either way give her a wide berth and hope the silly slag gets septicaemia or the like under the surgeons knife and get her just desserts.

BitOfFun · 18/01/2010 17:04

ffs- what a stupid and chidish post, darkandstormy. Perhaps you should read the posting guidelines before wading in, and bear in mind most women on here don't really see that calling other women slags does much for the sisterhood, yeah?

darkandstormy · 18/01/2010 18:06

sorry to cause offence but this story is just so awful. While we are on the subject though there is plenty that offends me on here. What is sisterhood by the way please inform I dont think I have encountered this as such...elaborate

BitOfFun · 18/01/2010 18:16

I sometimes wonder myself- fair point

junglist1 · 18/01/2010 18:31

Report the freak. The RSPCA can be quite useless so if I was you I'd go to the pets section and ask someone like Bella or Valhala who else you could report to. Well done for being a caring person instead of a tosser, wish there were more of you.

sb6699 · 18/01/2010 18:38

Poor, poor dog. As midori is aware, my dog has severe HD and is due to have his OP next year.

When he has an "episode", he is in extreme pain, finds it difficult to walk and cannot even get up when he lies down. He basically just lies on the couch and cries.

Most of the time he is in mild discomfort (although he doesnt complain on a day to day basis).

It is heartbreaking to watch him at times, and I just cant imagine leaving him like this for the rest of his days.

I would report them to RSPCA. At the very least this dog needs pain management.

midori1999 · 18/01/2010 19:14

Hmmm... she used to work for the RSPCA....

I am not sure if the RSPCA will do anything, tbh, but I suppose it is worth a try. I do have to take one of my own dogs to the vets in the very near future, and have a good relationship with them, so I will ask them what they would advise doing in that situation.

Someone else who lives here has a dog that killed their cat. They then got another kitten and the dog then killed that! I did contact the RSPCA and CPL about that, as this person does have another cat too, but they did nothing.

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