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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

wasIBU? what would you have done differently?

9 replies

stopcopyingme · 18/01/2010 13:17

last week I took my DD to a indoor activity play centre. its really tiny and there were some other children there also.

My DD has just turned two, there was a boy 3ish, another boy 4ish and a 4ish girl. so they were all playing together nicely, with the other childrens mother following them around. I was watching from the side (with DD2 who's 7 months) even though DD's only two, she is very capable of playing bigger childrens games so i wasn't worried for her.

After about 20mins DD was in a car and the 4yo boy walked up to her slapped her in the face, pushed her out the car and took the car off her! other mother was with them (i was a couple of metres away) so thought she would be capable of sorting the situation out (DD wasn't upset, just staring at the boy going off in the car) and i was expecting her to tell her child off and retrieve the car for DD. all she did was look at me and say "boys will be boys." to which my jaw dropped!

I walked over and checked my DD out (i then saw a red mark on her face) then I turned to the other mother and asked if she could call her son over so he could apologise and give her the car back. she said "oh you will be lucky to get him to say sorry, he never does!"

so I asked the boys name (lets call him ben)
I called ben over asked him to explain what had happened, just incase DD had done anything to upset him.

he said he wanted the car so hit DD, he had a small toy metal plane in his hand at the time that caused the mark.

so i asked for a sorry which i got then got him to give the car back and asked if his mum could look after the plane, as although i didn't think he used the plane on purpose to hurt her (i think it was just in his hand) maybe it was better out of harms way. so he gave the plane to his mum and they continued on playing together, at the end when DD was leaving he ran over to hug her!

Now my friends have heard through the grapevine that shes been telling people that I lost the plot, shouted at Ben, would let DD play with him and upset ben until he had to go home because he didn't want to play with me around!

DD ended up with what looks like a black eye (he hit her cheek but the red mark was under her eye that has now bruised)

now i've seen her around town and don't know what to do,

was i BU? should i have just let it pass?
would you ignore her or go and have a chat to see what shes upset about?

OP posts:
GhoulsAreLoud · 18/01/2010 13:19

No you were not BU. You did exactly what she should have done.

Ignore her.

Bint.

RonNumber · 18/01/2010 13:20

dont go to rough soft play centres

bidibidi · 18/01/2010 13:22

If you were as mild in your reproach as it sounds, then Other Mom comes across as a bit mad. I expect that I would try to chat with her but I wouldn't expect her to particularly come around, and just have to put people straight when they tell you the story they've heard.

willsurvivethis · 18/01/2010 13:22

YANBU

etchasketch · 18/01/2010 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 18/01/2010 13:23

just say hello to 'ben' if he's with her....i'd ignore her,but make it clear you have no problem with him

Baconsarnie · 18/01/2010 14:44

Sounds like you handled it brilliantly. Better than I could. Don't give it a second thought. But I also like ILoveT's advice to say hello to `Ben' to show you have no problem with him.

darkandstormy · 18/01/2010 16:54

No you did completely the right thing I would not give the whole thing a second thought I wouldnt bother with the kid either if that is his mums attitude he will probably grow up to be a right shit any way. Stick to the nice well behaved kids

porcamiseria · 18/01/2010 17:27

YANBU but there is something about softplay centres and rough arse parents....DP went and told a little boy off for bashing DC, and was rounded on! there is one near me I dont go to as the parents are rough as fxxxk, so maybe unless blood is drawn best to turn the other cheek in the future

Ignore the silly bint, smile at her son, and it will all blow over in time....

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