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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave DS is bed all day?

23 replies

memoo · 18/01/2010 11:37

DS is 9 and this morning was complaining of a tummy ache. I suspect he just didn't want to go to school but gave him the benefit of the doubt and allowed him to stay at home.

I told him though that if he was poorly he has to stay in bed. I'm letting him come down for drinks and if he gets hungry, and have also told him that he can watch dvd's in bed. He keeps coming down saying its boring in bed but I keep sending him back up.

Am I being really mean?

OP posts:
Rubyrubyruby · 18/01/2010 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shootfromthehip · 18/01/2010 11:40

Yip- the sofa is as far as mine would get but no games, no running about etc.

YAB a leetle U but not much

Original poster
memoo · 18/01/2010 11:45

Thing is though he loves lying on the couch watching tele. Should I not be showing him that actually being off when you should be in school is actually really boring. I want to discourage him from pretending to be poorly when he isn't really.

Also if he's really not well then he'd want to rest and not find it boring.

OP posts:
MattBellamysMuse · 18/01/2010 11:47

Are you sure he's not really ill? If not YABU.
When you're ill yourself do you restrict yourself to staying in bed? Don't be so mean and let the poor kid get up.

bibbitybobbityhat · 18/01/2010 11:48

If he's wanting drinks and food then he hasn't got much of a tummy ache has he?

I'm in your camp. If dcs are obviously ill then of course then can lie on the sofa and watch tv all day. If I strongly suspect they aren't then I can be a bit of a meanie, just cos I don't want them getting into the habit of fancying a day off school!

PurpleEglu · 18/01/2010 11:49

YANBU. I would do the same. Yes bed is boring, but if you are sick that is what you need.

Rubyrubyruby · 18/01/2010 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 18/01/2010 11:50

Does he want to be on the sofa to be nearer to you? If he can watch DVDs in bed I am not sure I see why the sofa with TV would be any more fun than the bed with DVDs.

Original poster
memoo · 18/01/2010 11:55

can't really sit with him at the mo because I have a very unsettled 4 month old.

I am pretty certain that he hasn't really got a upset tummy. He is eating well and drinking.

If he was genuinely ill I probably would have him on the couch where I could keep an eye on him. I just don't want him to think pretending to be ill is a good thing because he may then do it more often.

He has come down and is now sat on couch wolfing down some toast that I made him

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 18/01/2010 11:57

YANBU. My dd did have a gastritis a couple of weeks ago, stupidly I let her stay off on the Friday because she'd missed Mon-Thursday. The next week the tummy aches started in the morning before school.

MayorNaze · 18/01/2010 11:58

i am v v mean. tis is how i can tell my kids are actually ill. if they don't complain about a day in bed with no tv, computer etc then they must be ill. if they don't fancy that then off to school they go.

am v harsh

TheProvincialLady · 18/01/2010 11:59

If you really thought he was putting it on then you should have sent him to school IMO. Half a day in bed followed by tv on the sofa is not going to do much to dissuade him from trying it again.

Original poster
memoo · 18/01/2010 12:05

sorry, baby crying, will be back in a while

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ScreaminEagle · 18/01/2010 12:05

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Dumbledoresgirl · 18/01/2010 12:09

I am with you. If he really felt ill he would not be eating and drinking and he would probably be better off in bed, esp as he has the option of dvds in bed. And before anyone asks, when I am ill, I never want to be anywhere but in bed. I don't really get lying on the sofa when ill.

I second sending him to school this pm.

Morloth · 18/01/2010 12:10

Sick days are pretty boring here. If you are sick enough to stay off school/work then you need to be in bed resting. Reading in bed is acceptable and that is about it.

diddl · 18/01/2010 12:14

I think the fact that he keeps eating suggests that he didn´t have a "tummy ache" or that it is now better.

Usually bed is the best place, although with a stomach ache you don´t always want to be in bed trying to sleep/rest.

I agree with school this afternoon.

Original poster
memoo · 18/01/2010 12:25

Am back for a quick mo while baby isn't crying, having a bit of a day!

Right, I think sending him in this afternoon is a good idea! Afternoon session doesn't start til 1:15 and school is only down the road so we have time to get ready.

Off the break the bad good news to DS

OP posts:
Rubyrubyruby · 18/01/2010 12:52

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Tinuviel · 18/01/2010 12:56

Bed with nothing to do sounds like a good way of getting a 'not ill' child back to school PDQ!! YANBU at all. I would have given dry toast and water for a tummyache too!!

Having said that, we home ed, so they have to be pretty ill not to sit at the table and do something !

Romanarama · 18/01/2010 13:00

I let them watch TV all day when they're ill, but I make them go to school unless they have a fever or really obvious symptoms like puking or broken limbs or whatever. Tummy ache goes to school with child.

In your circs nbu to make him stay in bed, and I'd only let him eat boiled rice and drink water.

emsyj · 18/01/2010 13:03

YANBU or harsh - my mum took the approach with me that if I was well enough to get up, I was well enough to go to school. The only time she got it wrong was when I was in 6th form (yes, I still needed my mum's permission to miss school at age 17/18 ) and she made me go to school and I was violently sick at school, in the car when I was picked up and then (when I got home again finally) repeatedly at home for about 3 days.

I plan to take the same harsh line with my kids! DH and I are agreed that if you're well enough to get up and about, you go to work. Same will go for the kids. Poor things. We are no fun at all!

frostyfingers · 18/01/2010 14:15

I make it as boring as possible if they say they're ill, and I'm not convinced. Plain food (toast etc, water) and tv only for hour or so.

We did have problems last year with DS1 who regularly complained of being ill, but wasn't. It took a few days of this for the penny to drop and realise that he was being bullied. All ok now, but bear it in mind....

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