for thinking that a woman who is about to turn 60 shouldn't be asking for IVF?

[Coldhands]

Ok I may get really flamed for this, but I have just read a story that a woman who is 60 this year had asked a Harley St doctor for IVF.

Should she get this? I have no problem with IVF, we came very very close to having it ourselves but I think that women go through the menopause for a reason. Older bodies are just not equipped to do the while pregnancy thing etc. Do you really want to be 70 when your child is 10? I know women have had it abroad even older than this, but one of them recently died of cancer and left her 1/2? year old twins behind after having IVF in her late 60s. I just think it is very irresponsible.

It is a shame if they have never had children for whatever reason (if they wanted them), but it just seems 'a bit wrong' (not quite sure how to out that last bit).

The age thing is a red herring. My own dad died at 41 in a car crash when I was 16, so not sure that age is a guarantee of anything.

It's not a guarantee, of course it's not. But the odds are much much better.

Are you going to sue mother nature for sex discrimination?
It is what it is, we have biological differences
66? My God, I imagining my dad with a three year old (mind boggles)

I can't find that other thread where it is 'disgusting' for the over 35's-can anyone do a link?

The title was generic I am afraid ladies. If you want a laugh you will have to monitor the forum. They do come up fairly regularly

Meita - I don't think I did say 'nothing must be interfered with'?

In fact, I was actually trying to put forward the argument (that you have phrased nicely) that "determining if something happens for a reason says nothing about the morality of interfering/changing it". I was responding to another poster on the point that she felt that not everything does happen for a reason - I tend to think it does - or at least there was a reason at some point.

I am going to bow out of this one now, as I think I'm having a slightly different conversation to the one that's happening here!

"I was responding to another poster on the point that she felt that not everything does happen for a reason - I tend to think it does - or at least there was a reason at some point."

I struggle to understand the reason why one 23 year old man would be infertile and another might not. I can understand that some things can cause infertillity but for some men their low sperm count might not be explained and there might not be a reason. What I mean is I can't believe that there's something at work in nature/spiritually/environmentally which decides one man should be infertile and another not.

Erm, Dueling, I wasn't referring to you re that comment (rather my earlier 'conversation' with juuule)

I don't claim to know what all the reasons are, but am thinking out loud at a much more theoretical level than about individual cases ie is it part of evolutionary theory that if not all human beings have the ability to procreate, then this naturally introduces a level of population control?

I think I will have to relocate myself to this philosophy threads, as I am tying myself in knots here!

(BTW Dueling, I am glad your appointments got shuffled, and am hoping for you that starting treatment is enough to keep it going - not that you have to be the whole way through before you turn 40)

btw I think next Tuesday at about half past 10 PM there is something on TV (BBC1 IIRC) called "too old to be a mum?"

Just thought you all might be interested.

There are plenty of grandparents bringing their GKs up.

That is a good point Princess. My nan brought me up. But she was in her 40's when I went to live with her and she wasn't going through childbirth herself (although that age may not be so bad) but someone who has a body that is 60 years old, may not be so well equipped to give birth. Although I know the woman I was referring to in the OP did have one a couple of years ago.

I still don't think it is right though tbh, ovviously there will be many opinions on this, including the 'men still can' debate. But they are not the ones being pregnant, giving birth etc. Not that I am saying a man of 70 having a baby is a good idea either.

Grandparents do a good job but it isn't ideal. I have a friend who had to be brought up by her grandparents. She loved them dearly and was very grateful but she and her sister both felt that they could never be 'naughty' or the grandparents would say they couldn't cope. This wasn't the grandparent's fault-they never said it and I am sure they would have coped, but my friend and her sister picked up on their vulnerability. It wasn't like having parents where you could throw tantrums and slam doors and stay out late.