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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my kids to my engagement party?

25 replies

PrammyMammy · 17/01/2010 16:15

Dp popped the question at christmas, and we are having a party on the 30th of Jan.
It is in a pubs function lounge. With a DJ. From 7.30pm till midnight. As it is our party, all our usual baby sitters will be there. (parents, cousins, aunts, friends).
I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. I also have a 4 year old niece who will be there for the same reasons.
I have checked with the venue and kids are welcome.
My two dc's and my dn are the only kids in the family, but i have written on all invites to friends with children that the dc's are welcome.

AIBU to take them? Should i try hire a sitter ( if so from where? I am in Falkirk, Scotland)

Thank you all

OP posts:
GhoulsAreLoud · 17/01/2010 16:17

It's your party! If the venue don't have a problem with it then there's no problem!

ByTheSea · 17/01/2010 16:22

Your party = your decision.

Pancakeflipper · 17/01/2010 16:22

So you have put on your invites children are welcome, the venue allows it, you'd like your 2 to go, but you are thinking of getting a sitter? Why? Has someone said something to make you ponder this?

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 17/01/2010 16:22

I was thinking along the lines of the baby and the loud music lol. Plus (and i know i shouldn't care) but children are not even invited to weddings at dp's side of family so i wonder if they would be judgey about my lot being at the party

OP posts:
Boys2mam · 17/01/2010 16:34

It would be great for them to be there but surely midnight would be far too late?

sitters.co.uk can advise of any babysitters in your area or your local nursery may have staff who are willing to babysit?

PurpleCrazyHorse · 17/01/2010 17:32

We helped run a teenagers church weekend with our 4 month old DD. We were having quite loud worship music in the evening meetings but DD went to sleep during the worship and we just popped her in the bouncy chair. I might suggest some fabric just to put over the buggy or similar in case the surroundings keep her attention (thinking flashing disco lights!) or pop her facing a dark corner, but we find the noise actually helps.

Congratulations BTW - do what you want and have a lovely time.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 17/01/2010 17:33

Meant to say, could you line up a relative to take them home if needed? Just in case they don't sleep.

2rebecca · 17/01/2010 17:38

I wouldn't have taken my kids but that's because it would have been their bedtimes, especially the 2 year old who would have just become rapidly tired and irritable after 8 mind you I was breastfeeding the 4 month old so wouldn't have left her either for that long. I probably wouldn't have had a party, if I was bottle feeding I'd have had a sitter.
Even as teenagers my kids are rubbish at staying up late though, too used to a strict bed time regime, when they have the option of staying up late they turn into pumpkins and start asking to go home as sleepy. Suspect that will change in a couple of years though.

2rebecca · 17/01/2010 17:40

If you have room for a couple of travelcots somewhere quiet that might be an option. I took my son as baby to a friend's party once and we just found a quiet room to put him in a travel cot in.

Surfermum · 17/01/2010 17:49

DD was brilliant at these ages for taking to things. She'd enjoy a bit of the party then go to sleep in a corner in her buggy. She didn't even need quiet to do so, she'd happily nod off in the room where the disco was.

Vallhala · 17/01/2010 17:57

Your party, your children, your decision. I hope you'll make the choice you want to make and aren't influenced by DP's family making judgements just for the sake of it.

I will say that I'd have been very unlikely to have made the same choice when my 2 were young as by midnight I would have been totally hacked off dealing with an over-tired 2 year old and a 4m old as well (there are 19m between my 2 and if I recall rightly that age was hard work come the evenings). I think I'd rather relax with the adults without the worry or distraction of my children.

I'd also be a bit wary of people having a few beers too many near my children, something which when they were younger I was obsessively strict about not happening and very wary of. If you can handle both of these though, good on yer!

Congratulations and have a great party.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 17/01/2010 17:59

We went to a reception when my ds was about 12 months, he loved it.
My mum is taking them after 12, i am not sure if she might leave early, i guess she would though. We will see.

OP posts:
Tinuviel · 17/01/2010 18:43

We took a 2 year old and a 4 week old to a wedding and stayed pretty late. But I've always been relaxed about occasional late bedtimes. So DS1 had a whale of a time!! And DS2 fed and slept and didn't seem to notice much. Actually DS1 was at a wedding the year before and was up till about 11pm and he wasn't quite 2. He was the life and soul of the party!!

It's your party so it's entirely up to you.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/01/2010 19:24

congrats on dp now df popping the question

if you are happy and venue is happy then sod anyone else

saying that, would you enjoy the party more if you didnt have to keep an eye on them?

may be worth looking on netums/using sitters and getting a babysitter to pick up from party say 8.30pm and take them home to bed

cory · 17/01/2010 19:28

I'd make them bring a blanket, so they could just crash out under a table if they need to.

My 4yo nephew and 5yo niece came to our wedding and didn't leave until well after midnight.

curlycat · 17/01/2010 19:45

i'm in falkirk too - small world!!!

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 17/01/2010 20:01

Curlycat, fancy babysitting? heh jk. Small world indeed.
I think they will be alright, i mean they behave well, they older two love to show off. it is only one night and they are my kids so they should be there i feel.
Plus i remember my granny taking me to the pub when i was little, before i was at school, and loved it, all the old men gave me crisps and irn bru.

OP posts:
curlycat · 17/01/2010 20:17

i took my 2 to my inlaws golden wedding when they were just a bit older than yours and they loved it and everyone made a fuss of them. DS went to sleep in his buggy when he was tired - changed him into his jammies earlier and DD danced til she dropped then fell asleep on a few chairs pushed together.
After all it is only one night.

Where is your party - don't worry i won't gatecrash!!!

Hulababy · 17/01/2010 20:26

Why would you be unreasonable? I think it is a lovely idea to have your children at your engagement party. To me these things, just like the wedding itself, are family occassions, and children are valid members of the family.

I am sure the 4mo will just sleep in it's pram for the majority of the party , r that there will be lots of willing family and friends around just loving the chance to have some baby cuddles.

Even the 4y is likely to just fall asleep on a couple of chairs eventually, but even if they don't - it is just one night.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 17/01/2010 21:22

Why not have a different sort of party, in the day time? I always find it a bit odd when people do 'teenage' sort of parties when they do already have kids. Why try to have that sort of thing; this engagement/marriage is an event which is a family event because you have a family so why not celebrate as a family

I mean, it's no biggie and you are not being unreasonable to take them, of course not - but I know my Ds for one at 4mo would have screamed the place down at loud music and flashing lights etc and it's not as if you have to do it that way, it's not obligatory!

WidowWadman · 17/01/2010 21:35

Don't see the problem. We didn't have an engagement party, but our daughter was at our wedding reception until we left at midnight.

Wineonafridaynight · 17/01/2010 21:38

Congratulations! And go for it. Your party - if you want them there have them there.

callmeovercautious · 17/01/2010 21:47

We got Married last year and took DD to the whole thing - She was 21m at the time and was my only bridesmaid - a Flower Girl. Most of the people at the party afterwards were friends with DC so we said to bring them if they wanted.

4 other people brought DC and DD loved it - we had balloons instead of flowers and the DJ had a bubble machine. It was the family event we wanted

Most people with DC left by 9/10 but DD was walked around the car park in her pushchair by numerous friends and family who needed some air and fell asleep by 10.30pm. We all went on to have a great night till 12.

Have a fantastic Party and Congratulations

Alambil · 17/01/2010 22:01

I'd take them - one late night won't hurt

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 17/01/2010 22:57

Lol what is a 'teenage' party? My brother is a teenager, and he will be there, but i doubt there will be many. And i am 23, so not too far away from a teenager myself :P.
The party is in The Edge, downstairs in the function part. I went to a birthday party there last year, there were a few tots, one who was born just days before my ds. Can't remember how loud it was really.
A bubble machine, that sounds ace. I hope our dj has one, that would be good fun for them (and me).

OP posts:
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