T o be really annoyed with my sister

[ChezzaB]

I have 2DS's 22mo and 4.5mo and My sister has DD 17mo. This Christmas we decided between ourselves that we would only buy presents for the children as this would be cheaper. So presents were bought for both of my DN (DB has DD also) and we (DP,DS's and myself) traveled from Yorkshire to Devon to see everyone! We arranged to meet up the day after Boxing day and was lovely to see everyone! Presents were distributed to all the children and my sister didn't have anything! She said when I have some money I will buy for the children. Ok no problem bit annoyed but understand that unforseen circumstances can get in the way! However two days later met up with my sister again and she doesn't mention anything but the next thing I know she is buying a designer jumper for like £60! Should I say something? What? Her and her DP only pay £100 a month rent as they live with BIL so is not like they don't have any spare cash just to get my children even a little something! I am so bloody annoyed and could rant for ages but AIBU and should I just let go?

yes, they are selfish.
yes, you should let it go.

Your annoyance is understandable.

However, could it be that she is buying the jumper with money given to her for Christmas - perhaps from her partner who has said, "I know you really want a new jumper but I don't want to pick the wrong thing. This is the money for you to go and choose it yourself"?

If that was the case, it would be quite reasonable of her to buy the jumper as that what the money was for IYSWIM. I'd be very annoyed if my partner spent cash I'd given him for something specific as a present on buying presents for other people.

Even if that's not the case though, how much of a fuss do you want to make? Is it worth falling out over?

You aren't being unreasonable - it's a bit off to renege on an agreement about presents when the other party has stuck to it - but I'd let it go if I were you. It's not worth a big family rift, particularly as your children probably neither know nor care that they are "owed" a present.

my sis exactly the same

always has been. selfish to her core but i accept her for what she is and love her. i lowered my expectations. we live on a different planet.

Normally I would agree with Adair but did your children hear her make her promise?

My children are not really old enough to be bothered about it but I was! I think I'll just leave it as is as I don't really want to cause a family rift! The money wasn't a gift it was just a jumper she decided to buy but never mind I guess I'll get over it!

You have to let it go imo - you can't demand presents, even if they have been promised - a present is just that, a gift, freely given because someone wants to, not a right.

Yes she's been selfish but nothing entitles you to demand presents!