To want to shout swear words very loudly...

[greatwhiteshark]

...and then put my children up for adoption so they get a better mum than me?

Regular here. Having a shit day. Had a shit day on Thursday. Think I'm slipping falling headlong into another depressive episode and I so don't want to.

I hate this for my children. I hate it for me. I'm so bloody angry at everything. I'm angry with DH for taking up yet another stupid hobby. I'm angry at my mum for sounding frustrated with me when I rang her in tears (although I'm sure I'm being paranoid in that respect). I'm angry with some friends of ours who've behaved really badly. I'm angry at my brother for not returning things I lent him. I'm angry at my PIL for not telling me whether or not they're coming to DD2's birthday party next weekend. I'm mostly angry with myself for being so bloody shit.

You are not shit. Call your GP before you go further into the depression. Take some meds. Get some help.

I live every day with major mental and physical health issues and still take care of my son. Because I take my meds. And get as much rest as I can with a 7 month old in my life.

It can be done. Just don't fight getting the help you need.

What's pissing you off the most that can be dealt with quickest?

PIL are easily sorted. Ring them up and tell them that you want an answer there and then or you will not include them in plans.

Can you go over to your brothers place? Go armed with bags and raid his home for the stuff he has failed to return.

Use your anger to fuel you. you can do it and when it's done, I bet you'll feel a million times better about yourself and can take a step back from the other stuff and look at things a bit more rationally.

Tee - thanks. Not going into the long winded details but meds not an option at all.

DifferentID - It's a good idea, but you know it's not the actual problems that are the problem. If I wasn't in a depressive episode, these things would just wash over me.

I don't want to be someone with depression. It's shit. I have been so well for so long now, with just the odd shit day. But two shit days close together does not bode well.

great white - if you cant take meds how do you manage it normally and if you have been well for a long time what is the trigger for this episode. Can you arrange councelling - if you cant take ad's can you take st johns wort. I know its hard but try and put the kids in a buggy and get out of the house into the fresh air. Sitting in the same place will only encourage the thought and rage spiral to get worse - try and break it and get out for a bit.