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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that dh should come home now

26 replies

queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 20:43

and probably shouldn't have gone out today.

he is going into RAF on wednesday. will be at basic training for 9w at least. then trade training for 18 weeks. BT is Aylesbury, TT is near Portsmouth. we live in the midlands so will hardly see him.

I have taken the week off to spend time as a family beforehand. he went out for a "quick beer" at 4pm. said he would be home by 8 at the latest.

still not back. ive not eaten because we are having a curry which is prepped and ready to go. I dont know how to cook it, and he promised to cook this evening, i wanted an M&S meal. I am NOT impressed

OP posts:
Alambil · 16/01/2010 20:47

I wouldn't be either

Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 20:48

and the fecker hasnt taken his mobile, so i either ring his mates and look like an obssesive harpy or sit here and seethe

OP posts:
confetti · 16/01/2010 20:51

Why dont you text his mates and say you are about to order CHinese food and what would he like?

That way you do not look like a nagging wife and it might remind him to come home!

WashwithCare · 16/01/2010 20:52

Get a babysitter, and then join him?

Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 20:57

washwithcare, cant. his parents are v elderly and mine live 30 mins away.

just rang last number dialled from house phone. decided i didnt care if i looked like a bunny boiler. he answered. i said "where are you?" he said "in the having a few beers, thats ok isn't it?" i said "not really, you are an hour late"

he does this ALL the time. is never home on time, always at least an hour late. then wonders why i moan when he goes out.

OP posts:
herbietea · 16/01/2010 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 21:03

herbie, yes. 'tis lissie!!

he has been selfish. i understand that he wants to see his friends but this takes the piss.

OP posts:
sowhatitsonlysnow · 16/01/2010 21:07

hmmm, if I was about to do 9 wks basic trg I might just want to have some time out on the p---. I agree he should consider you/family but to be fair he' not going until Wed.

maristella · 16/01/2010 21:08

if he does this all the time why are you surprised?
also he's about to embark on a major life change. why he hadn't already organised a night out is beyond me, i'd certainly want one!
you knew that by going out he'd be late back, so order a take away, just this once order something for him (as he's leaving). and for future use find some babysitters locally! being a parent isn't a sentence, get out and enjoy yourself too!

herbietea · 16/01/2010 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sowhatitsonlysnow · 16/01/2010 21:10

Can you not work out how to cook the curry he prepped?

Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 21:12

maristella, i did organise something (along with babysitters but he said we A> couldn't afford it and B> he didnt want a fuss made. i offered to get us a meal and cook it. he said he didnt want to, he wanted to cook a curry. and swore that he would be home by 8.

i understand that he wanted to go out, but he went out last weekend with them. again on thursday

and no, i shouldnt be surprised. im not tbh. but i thought that he might show a little consideration.

OP posts:
Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 21:14

i could sowhat, but i dodnt know what time he will be home. am also a terrible cook anyway, and i WILL ruin it.

herbie, no. rang him almost 1/2 hour ago, the pub is 5 mins walk away.

OP posts:
WashwithCare · 16/01/2010 21:20

He probably had good intentions... but got carried away.

I think he's taking the michael... presumalby once he's away on his weeks of training, he'll get numerous nites off to go get slaughtered with his mates, and you'll be home with the kids?

Get your glad rags on - get a neighbour to pop round just for 5 minutes to cover an emergency. Call taxi - on way out to town, stop by teh pub to tell him your kids are home alone, and he better get round there fast.

maristella · 16/01/2010 21:22

why not get that take away or re-arrange the sitter? don't let the fact that he stayed out late ruin your evening. people stay out late after drinking alcohol, as it impairs the ability to give consideration to others.

Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 21:25

maristella, we really cant afford a takeaway now. we need every penny for his last bits and his first week.

washwithcare, i know youre right. Im just cross that he has done it again. and i had a really nice night planned too.

OP posts:
herbietea · 16/01/2010 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 21:31

good point herbie. its inconsiderate!

OP posts:
Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 21:36

oh, and the day after he goes is my birthday. was kind of hoping we could celebrate that too

OP posts:
Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 21:58

ok, TWO hours late.

OP posts:
Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 16/01/2010 22:01

going to bed

OP posts:
ilove · 17/01/2010 10:13

What time did he come in?

Original poster
queenoftheslatterns · 17/01/2010 10:15

10.15. pissed up, ruined the curry (i made myself supernoodles) and we had an almighty row. him being over 2hrs late was somehow MY fault

OP posts:
ilove · 17/01/2010 10:19

ewww. Don't let it go on though, make friends...

gingernutlover · 17/01/2010 10:21

YANBU he was

YANBU to expect him to do what he says he will and to pull him up on it when he doesn't. I wouldnt have bothered being up to be honest, there would have been a duvet and pillow on the sofa and the curry in the bin.

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