to follow professional medical advice?

[Undercovamutha]

I would describe myself as verging on being a bit neurotic. DH is the total opposite - so laid back but also distrusting of professional opinion. He likes to make up his own mind about things (normally based on very little fact - just his 'gut feeling'). His dad is EXACTLY the same. Whereas I tend to be one for trusting and following advice to the letter.

This obviously leads to the odd row, but lately it has happened quite a few times. For example: HV said as soon as DS starts getting his teeth through, we should start brushing them. DH thinks this is rubbish, and that if he's only got 4 tiny teeth there's no point. I think that the HV MUST be right, and its no problem to do it anyway.

Another example is that DD has had an eye condition (blepharitis) on and off and it has led to a slight scarring of the cornea. As a result we have had to give her drops really regularly as well as quite stingy eyelid cleaning twice a day. It seems to have got better but opticians say it looks like it might still be there a bit. DH thinks the opticians are just being overcautious. I think this is rubbish as they wouldn't just say to do these treatments if it wasn't necessary.

DH is convinced I am neurotic, whereas I am convinced that medical professionals know better than DH! So AIBU to follow the medical professions advice or should I treat them with a big heap of scepticism?

You sound very sensible, he sounds just lazy.

YANBU Brush your DS's teeth defo and until your DH becomes a qualified optician follow the medical advice.

Why don't you start to take his car engine apart and then say you had a gut feeling there was something wrong with it. He may get the message!

IME wisdom falls somewhere in the middle.

I've had various recent experience with medical professionals where they've ignored my opinion, sometimes with potentially fatal results. So I don't blindly follow advice.

However, I have also benefitted over the years from some excellent medical care from some excellent clinicians.

Don't be afraid to question.

when your son is abit older and his teeth are rotten and he is having a general anaesthetic to have them removed so that they will hopefully not affect his adult teeth in years to come, your husband will probably wish he had cleaned them.

no i am not being dramatic - i work in theatre and have looked after lots of children who have had rotten teeth removed.

also scaring to the cornea is serious - does he want his child to be able to see or not?

He obviously wants the best for the kids, but he sees the upset that the eye issue has caused DD and wonders if the medical profession really know best.

And when it comes to DS, I really think his dad is to blame. He actually told my DH when he was little that you don't have to go to the dentist if you eat an apple every day! Luckily MIL disagreed. FIL is SO sceptical of everyone - he always thinks everyone is either neurotic or has an agenda. This has rubbed off on DH.

well after all the years the medics train for i would say they know better than your dh - especially if he doesn't have a good researched based rational for his decisions.

With body parts that cant be replaced i.e eyes, ears etc. i am always cautious as they can be harmed so easily

I don't think you're being neurotic at all. The earlier you start to clean childrens' teeth, the less hassle you have getting them to do it in the future so it's worth letting them have a little chew on a tooth brush as soon as the teeth emerge.

My DS also has Blepharitis and, although the eye washing is a nightmare and he hates it, it helps to prevent such regular reoccurrence of the infection.

BTW, on the recommendation of the GP, I bought an Eye bag for DS and it seems to have really helped.

Thanks Zisfor. How old is your DS? My DD is only 3.5. They're not sure why the small marks on her cornea haven't got better, so she may need to be referred to the eye hospital. The eye washing is SO horrible and we both feel so sorry for DD. She tries to be brave but really hates it. We had to give her artifical tear drops for a few months but now use Lacrilube eye gel which she is ok with.

Its so disappointing as we really thought the Blepharitis had gone, but I guess it had and has just come back again. I think DH is so doubting cos you can't see it with the naked eye - but the optician definitely thinks its still a problem. Has your DS had any problem with his corneas? Also they are puzzled as to why DD only has it is one eye - does your DS have blepharitis in both?

well on balance of probability given dh isnt Dr or ophthalmologist id take my professional advice from a registered clinician.under your dh laissez faire no problemo approach there could potentially be big problemo ahead if advice ignored

BUT i also do advocate informed choice and pts asking questions and being engaged in a dialogue.passivity isnt good either

Hmm, have you tried brushing said teeth..................is it easy?

Wise words as normal scottishmummy. Usually Dh and I make a good team (we find a middle ground between the 2 extremes ). However, when it comes to the DCs it all becomes obviously more emotive!

BTW DH has just apologised for being so disbelieving/dismissive of the opticians view. He says he is just sad that DD has been so upset about the treatment, and doesn't want her to go through anything unnecessarily, which I totally understand. He has said he will come with me to the opticians next week so that he can be supportive and ask some questions himself. That is excellent news as it is so hard to take it all in on my own.

Thanks everyone!

(DH has been brushing DS's teeth since the HV said to, but with a bit of a sigh and a whinge! Am working on it......)