To have been ruthless with DS drawings?

[JamesTheCat]

DS is 7 and we will shortly (fingers crossed) be downsizing our house. In preparation for this, I have started sorting out cupboards and the like.

The problem is that DS is very much a hoarder whereas I am very much into decluttering.

So from nursery to now, if DS has ever so much as put crayon to paper to draw a tiny squiggle, said squiggle has been sent home with him at the end of the day, not to mention all the pictures he has drawn at home. Some of them are displayed on the wall / fridge, however most have been gathering dust in a pile, together with the more recent addition of work books from school.

So today I have been ruthless. I have been through the pile and thrown out about 70% of my PFB's work - well at least recycled it at the local tip.

When I told my best friend what I had been up to, se was at what I had done, telling me that I would regret it, that DS may one day have wanted to look through it all and remember his childhood.

I kept a lot of his best pictures but AIBU to have done a hatchet job on the rest? TBH it was begining to be a fire hazzard and there are only so many pages of red smudges I can look at, they all look the same. There are hopefully years more of DS's work to come, but best friend says I will never be able to replace the work he did as a baby

YANBU - your BF is a loon.

YANBU. He certainly won't be arsed with his baby pictures when he's older, and you've kept the best ones so you can look at them later. You sound like you have a healthy attitude to it tbh rather than getting precious about everything he's ever scribbed.

sorry, typo - she was shocked

We have a small house and simply cannot store everything they've done. I keep only a selected few and the rest go in the bin (when noone is looking).

YANBU, mine are grown up now. I kept their best/favourite drawings and put them in a big scrap book with dates etc. They do occasionally like to look at them. If I had kept every blob of paint/squiggle on a bit of computer paper they and ever done, I'd have a house like Mr Trebus.

Ask your friend if she's so upset, would she mind storing it all for you until he's 21.

yanbu. The ones you keep will be more meaningful if you have been selective. Someone I know keeps one a month, puts it in a frame for a month (at the end of the previous month so she's picked the most meaningful one) and recycles the others. She has a folder for the ones that have had their turn in the frame. I try to give away any that I like but am not going to keep to gp etc. I stick little drawings in dd's scrap book. You don't keep memories of their childhood better or safer by trying to keep everything. But I've expressed this more forcefully than I might have elsewhere on the site, each to their own and feel free to keep everything if you like! (not sure am i being unreasonable is my natural home - a bit too much of a "do what you like" sit on the fence type!!

oh and be careful when you throw them away! My mother tells of when I was three and found a masterpiece in the bin and was told it must have blown down into the bin....from ten feet away .

Thank you, it was a bit sad throwing it all away, but actually a scrap book sounds like a fab idea, , thank you, can't believe I didn't think about that myself!!

I am having to go through his toys next - being an only child he has been rather spoiled from generous friends and family. I have asked him which toys he would prefer to keep, but he wants to have all of them, including a lot of his baby toys.

My plan is to wait for him to go to school on Monday and then ditch the ones that he doesn't ever play with. (By ditch I mean give to charity). I know he will be upset to lose a few of his cuddly toys but if i do it when he's not here, hopefully he will never realise they are missing.

I feel bad that he has so much, when some other children have so little. (We don't have a lot of money either, but can manage with what we have).

I just hope that he doesn't notice!!

Good luck with the toy clear out, we live in a small hutch house, so I regularly purge the toy box.
It's amazing how they can remember toys they haven't played with in years once they gone. She's still asking about a dalmation toy (cheap tatty thing) that went last year.

YANBU. I think that some people unconsciously regard their kids' drawings an extension of their kids, which is where the problem comes in. IYSWIM.

my mother was recently clearing the attic and presented us all with artwork from primary school and scrapbooks of all of our birthday cards up to (in my case) 15.

I have absolutely no idea what to do with them, it seems wrong throwing out something someone has kept for you for over 30 years - but I have a house full of my kids' scribbles, I don't need more.

It has made me think a bit about what I keep!

My 16m girl regularly brings home rubbish artwork from nursery with about two crayon marks on and i bin them.

There have been one or two that are cute and we have scanned them and are planning to get a photobook made up once we have enough.

I really have no idea where i would store them all otherwise - i can't even begin to comprehend how much room it would take it storing it all.

YANBU. Most of the stuff I bring home from DDs nursery is, I'm sure, NOT done by her. I 'display' some of the pictures she does at home for a couple of days but then get rid. I keep some just out of guilt and give some to grandparents 'cos they love that type of thing.

YANBU. I would definitely keep some artwork, but it's ridiculous to keep it all. DD is 17 months and I have some 'firsts'- first handprints, first scribbles, but the rest gets binned.

I put a date (and pertinent info - like what it actually is) on the back of the best ones and put them on fridge/in box/scrapbook. dd chooses some too.

Afraid dd gets told that we can't keep everything as we have to put some in recycling to make new paper so we can do more drawings. She draws from morning to night... And now we have started 'making', we have countless bits of cardboard with sellotape and pom poms attached . Must admit, I do the throwing-away-when-she-is-bed thing too, she likes the process mostly anyway...

Did start taking photos of pics/objets d'art which dd appreciates.

so no, YANBU to throw 70% away - 30% is more than enough IMO!

I am 65 and still upset about my yellow leather camel which my mum threw away in the 50s because it was rotting!

Hi jamesthecat
I am ruthless with my kids work and they dont mind a bit.
We keep the best stuff and recycle the rest.
Even stuff they insist they want to keep, so we keep it, a week or two later is forgotten or superseded by a new improved version.

Dont fret - when you kids are 18 they will want to look at their best creations they wont even think of all the other stuff you threw out!

With the toys, would it be possible to sell them at a jumble/car boot sale? Any money you make could be used to buy something nice for his new bedroom when you move.

We have, a keepsake box, keep meaning to get another for all of DDs "art". Those magical pictures they do with giant heads and stick arms.

Nopw you see, me: If i felt i wanted to keep it at one point then i just cant get rid. I am learning to be a bit more selective because as you say, you can't keep everything.

Things that they have bought home from school keep, pictures for us specifically, keep, anything that shows flair, keep

Oh, just bloody keep it all!!!

I have sack loads of cuddly toys from DD1, we are accumulating similar hoardes for DD2 - but i could never part with them, not ever - i look at them and remember buying them, others are from my dad and he has passed away - im a sentimental old fool

I'm ruthless with dd's stuff too - best bits go in a folder or on the wall, the rest goes in the bin when no-one's looking.

As for toys, I put them in a high cupboard in a holding pattern for a few months just in case she asks for them. If she does, they come out, but if not, then they go to the charity shop or to the tip if they're unsaleable (always think to myself - would I pay money for it? And if I wouldn't, I assume no-one else would either and off to the tip it goes)

I agree with Mrs MT; silly to try and keep every picture but be cautious about binning the toys behind his back - he could dig his heels in and become even more of a hoarder as a result.

Either box them up and put away, then discard if he hasn't asked for then in, say, six months, or put on a high shelf and see which of them, if any, he wants.

Or take a direct approach - explain why you're doing this, maybe offer a treat once the room is cleared of excess; he might surprise you.

YANBU.

As a suggestion for the future to help avoid a reaccumulation of the artwork mountain
I know someone who chops her kids drawings up to A5 size, fold them in half and uses them as notelets (her kids are still too little to write their own letters).

It's great for Thank you letters etc and helps her keep on top of the art work production.

As a doting Auntie I have to say I quite like getting artwork to decorate my fridge either in the form of the above notelets or as a specially selected donation from the nursery bag so share the pictures about.

I throw away around 75% of dd (5) pictures etc. If I kept everything she did at home and school - she is very prolific - I would need to buy a house to store it in!!!

I put them in the recycling when she is in bed and hide them well as she would be seriously upset.

When we moved from Thailand to Swtizerland I ruthlessly culled my DD's toys and took 8 black sacks to the orphanage. The packers came and did their stuff and it eventually reached us. What I had neglected to notice was our home help had kept around 800 pieces of dd's artwork and had them forwarded to us. On top of explaining how a box must have been lost during the journey - to explain the mystery of why so many soft toys failed to reach her, I had to slowly recycle the art. Do it while they are at school and the chances are your child won't notice.