to refuse to make dc more food if they don't eat their dinner?

[glasgal]

Hi, this is a slight divergence from another thread. If your dcs don't eat the (healthy) dinner you have cooked for them do you

a) cook them another meal
b) make them sit at the table until it's eaten
c) send them to bed
d) allow them a snack they get themselves

I refuse to make them anything else. They are allowed water and milk and are not supposed to have anything else but in reality ds usually manages to sneak some bread (wholemeal) from the kitchen later on.

If they don't eat enough of their dinner they only get one pudding. I would offer them more fruit or bread and butter, or they might ask for cereal but I certainly would not cook them another meal. I wouldn't send them to bed for not eating their tea or make them sit their until it was eaten, maybe ask them to eat 1-2 more mouthfuls. Depends.

If DS genuinely doesn't like it (after trying) he gets one other meal. I don't think it's fair that adults are allowed taste preferences but kids are sometimes forced to eat food regardless of saying they don't like it.

If he is being awkward and I know for sure he usually likes it, he gets nothing else - not even snacks

If they've tried a bit of everything on the plate then they get 'afters' (fruit, yoghurt, occasionally chocolate). If they don't then I leave it be, they don't get anything else other than a drink of milk before bed if asked for.

I wouldn´t do a, b or c.

d perhaps depending on the reason for not eating what has been cooked.

If it is something they have never had before and they say they don't like it I'll probably make a sandwich or omelette.

If it is something they have eaten countless times before but they are either messing about or complaining they are not huingry they are not allowed anything until the next meal.

They are 3 & 5.

We ask ds to eat more spoonfuls of food, works so far, if he decides he does not want to, he will NOT get any treat afterwards, if hes hungry he can have a snack of a sandwich, fruit, cheese cubes etc... he aways has milk or water on tap.

DS is 2. It depends on whether it's something he's eaten (and liked) before. If he doesn't eat one of his usual favourites then nothing extra is forthcoming.
If it's something new and he has at least tried it then we will give him some toast or cereal instead- usually about 15-30 minutes later so he's not associating rejection of a meal with immediate substitution of something he prefers.
Would never cook him another meal or make him eat something (not sure how on earth one would do that anyway).
We usually all eat the same thing at the same time. I very occasionally make him something different if we want something I know he won't eat e.g. DS hates egg so if we want a Spanish omelette then I will make him baked potato with cheese/beans instead. If I make a separate meal it's always something very low effort.

interesting - ds1 is currently at the point where we are discussing manners. if an adult goes to a dinner party and is served up something they don't really like, they generally eat a bit of it out of politeness.
they might not lick the plate clean lol, but but they don't sit and point blank refuse to even touch it...

ds1 is 8. it's not going to work with toddlers, but tbh the stuff he refuses to eat is pretty much the same stuff he's been eating all his life quite happily. it's not so much the dislike i object to (happy for him to develop his own preferences) but the way it suddenly appears out of completely nowhere, and the abject refusal to put even one morsel in his mouth.

i'm of the 'eat a bit more and then you can get down' variety. the only time i offer another option is breakfast, but most times i don't.

its left there and they can return later and eat it. they don't get anything else. if they do this they get pudding. i don't run a restaurant and doing a and d wastes food and encourages fussy eating! i don't cook anything i know they really hate - but this is only very few things. b and c sound bit cruel and is making too much fuss. they are now teenagers and 2 eat anything, 1 is fussy - but he's fussy about everything

In our house the rule was always,'There's bread,there's cheese'if dinner was rejected.Fruit freely available as were water and milk.

I don't do puddings. I never have the time or energy to cook another meal so if they don't eat the food they are give, I offer then fruit.

If I know they like it, they dont get anything else.

if they don't eat i generally i think its because they aren't hungry...so no other option is presented. although i also tend to stick to stuff i know they like - if i do something they like less, it will be in a smaller portion with something for afters...but if they don't even eat that, no pudding.

so far mostly successful (hastily touching wood) , if partly due to 'surrender parenting' in terms of the options presented...

Our dds are older and 'good' eaters now but if they wouldn't eaten dinner when younger they were allowed fruit with wholemeal bread or toast only - nothing else.

wouldn't 'eat' not 'eaten'.

With dd1 3.4 if whe is messing with her food or doesn't want it, it is taken away. She then has the option of fruit but nothing else. If she then complains of being hungry the refused meal is reheated & offered. Only exception is something I half expect her not to like - in those cases I normally give her a small portion to try alongside a portion of something she does like - ie pasta etc.

I'm in agreement with Ftaires - either you eat it (assuming that its not a new and genuinely disliked food) or you go without. Neither child would die of hunger overnight and I am not a servant and this is not a restaurant!

If a new food and DS didnt like it then yes I'd cook another meal for him. I dont tend to have to do this very often as I only cook things for him I know he will eat. Some nights he has the same as us but other nights he'll choose his own.

I would never do b or c as I think they can lead to food issues when older.

Like Lewisfan, I think its unfair for adults to choose foods they like and avoid the ones they dont but then not allow children the same choice.

I got very used to cooking different meals when I had to think about the allergies but would never cook 2 meals for anything other than a medical reason.

Now I tend to make something that everyone will eat. There's very little mine won't eat or at least try. Ds and dh love fish pie but dd hates creamy sauces so I might leave her fish out so I'd never make an extra special effort but might just keep something out of a sauce for dd.

I'd never send them to bed or make them sit at the table. If they really didn't like what I'd made, they'd attempt it then politely leave it. I have no problem with them making a sandwich later as long as they at least tried the meal (but mine will generally eat most things).

Mine eat most things anyway, apart from a few odds and ends eg no-one but me likes avocados , DS1 doesn't like bananas. But generally they eat what I cook.

If someone suddenly takes against sthg (eg "I don't like chicken soup!" when I know they have eaten it before) I certainly don't cook anything else; don't send them to bed tho or make them eat it.

That's dinner. If they don't like it they will be hungry I guess.

If I'm mean, shoot me. They are bigger than some kids here tho, 10, 8, 6, if that makes a difference.

I've tended to make sure there is something on dds plate that she likes but to be honest she likes almost everything. If she doesn't eat much then its fine, doesnt bother me but she doesnt then get lots of snacks or a different meal.

I wouldn't make them anything different and if they are refusing something I know they have previously eaten I would not let them have pudding.

If they are hungry later the most I would let them have would be some bread and butter but I certainly wouldn't cook them something else

No-I am not a restaurant. I have done my bit by shopping for it, cooking it and preparing it! They have the choice-take it or leave it. Fruit would be available.

I remember when I was younger that my Mum used to cook a seperate meal for each person. Since growing up I decided that I would never do what she did (5 seperate meals a night!) and when I have kids they would have a choice between my vegetarian meal or partners meat meal (or a bit of both) if I cook two versions, more often than not parter is happy eating veggie stuff though