Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

you shouldn't eat chocolates/crisps etc if you wont let your kids eat them??

72 replies

worldgonemad72 · 16/01/2010 11:17

Hi

I probably am bu but it really gets me annoyed when parents restrict their kids treats but will happily scoff a whole pack of biscuits or a chocolate bar themselves. We all try and eat healthily(sp) in our house but do have treats at the weekend. An aquaintance of mine doesn't let their children eat anything sweet wise, just has fruit etc which is great but then she told me that the other night her and oh ate a whole box of maltesers albiet after the kids had gone bed, i just find it so hypocritical. Think im in one of those grrr moods this morning lol
ps sorry about any spelling mistakes

OP posts:
blinder · 16/01/2010 12:46

yes the real cost of the teenagers' later bedtime - goodbye to the surreptitious ciggies, mars bars, Jack Daniels and rubbish smoochie films.

HSMM · 16/01/2010 12:57

YANBU - I wish I could lead by example, but I just cant . I talk to my DD about smoking and drugs and then happily down a glass of wine at the dinner table. I know I am a hypocrite (sp?) and in an ideal world I would definitely lead by example (but I am too weak).

TinaSparkles · 16/01/2010 13:01

YANBU. It really annoys me when people are evangelical about what their kids eat, but don't do anything about their own bad diets. Especially when they blame their habits on their own parents.

We don't have chocolate biscuits or crisps stashed in the house because I prefer to lead by example.

DD does have a sweet tooth though, but knows that chocolate and lollies and things are occasional treats. As they are for me.

Meglet · 16/01/2010 13:02

yabu. I scoff choc bics when my dc's aren't around. I brush my teeth, eat well most of the time and keep fit so no damage done.

Just the teeth brushing stress alone is enough for me to make sure my dc's rarely get choc or sweet food.

WidowWadman · 16/01/2010 13:13

Meglet - also with healthy food teeth brushing is important. And it's not hard anyway, so this is nit really a reason to refuse the occasional treat.

Meglet · 16/01/2010 13:24

teeth brushing is hard with my two, I can't bear to add to the twice daily stress by giving them sugar .

I keep sugary fruit to meal times too, and it's water all day too. I am mean .

Maleeka · 16/01/2010 18:04

YANBU, i'm so bloody sick of threads about "omg my mother gave little Tarquin a jelly baby when she knows he cant have sweets!!"

In moderation its fine, there is no way i would deny my kids the ocassional treat. And the brushing excuse is pants too.

My kids all had treats and last time i looked, they all had perfect teeth and werent fat bloaters!

piscesmoon · 16/01/2010 18:23

YANBU-in fact it is the thing that I find most irritating of all! The DC is kept on a strict regime that the parent hasn't the will power for themselves-they just have the will power on someone else's behalf!

If you decide that you want your DC to have a healthy diet then you should be doing it as a family. You will fail if you don't as DCs do as the parents do, not as they say and are very quick to see blatant hypocrisy.
If they have to drink water and they see that you as the adult never drink water then the message is that whatever you are having is better!

Somethings you can explain are only for adults e.g. alcohol so there is no problem with that, you just tell them it is against the law until they are 18 and when they get to that age they will have the choice.

Eating is supposed to be enjoyable and sociable! Adults have treats-e.g. go out for dinner and children should have treats too.

As long as everyone has a healthy balanced diet most of the time the occasional lapse doesn't matter.

Anyone who is strictly controlling of their DC's diet is in for problems later, and if you strictly control your DCs diet, but not your own,you are in for double the problems IMO.

Tryharder · 16/01/2010 18:32

Agree exactly with Piscesmoon. I have a friend who imposes an organic quinoa pilaff with fennel type of diet on her kids but lives off pizza and chocolate herself.

Acinonyx · 16/01/2010 19:16

Yanbu - I ration sweets, biscuits and cake for myself probably more than for dd. I am at people (e.g. family ) who are very healthy eaters themselves yet ply dd with cookies and cake all day long.

I am trying to train her to have a sensible adult diet - to do as I do. Wine, is an altogether different matter

pooexplosions · 16/01/2010 19:29

YABVU. My kids get plenty of treats, but they don't get crisps..I do, they don't get Crunchy nut cornflakes, I do.
Just because I'm a parent doesn't mean I'm not my own person, and I like to eat things that aren't very healthy. When they grow up and have their own homes and money they can buy their own crunchy nut. Until then, they can have ready brek!

Pozzled · 16/01/2010 20:10

YANBU. I think parents should lead by example. I do have crisps, chocolate etc occasionally, and if DD is around she is allowed a small piece. It makes me more careful about what I eat, and I don't see the harm in her having the odd treat. I will sometimes have a nice desert or something after she is in bed- but only because I'm up later, I wouldn't deliberately save something 'naughty' so that she wouldn't see it.

treedelivery · 16/01/2010 20:22

YANBU

Sugar and salt are part of a healthy diet and something all humans crave and desire.

I think we might be storing up some really horible messages for future adults, about what self control is and about healthy eating.

Raisins taste grim, are full of sugar and stick to the teeth. Most apricots are packed with chemicals to keep them orange. Bleurgh!

I let my dd have a sensible portion of whatever treat is for pudding/in the cupboard. I hate the idea of hiding and keeping certain foods a secret from children. It just doesn't seem healthy or respectfull. In order to protect the dc's I try and make sure the cupboard contains mostly wholesome snacks and treat, and fewer processed disasters.

I don't think food can be compared to alcohol or smoking or drug taking - wanting, craving, being interested in and living with food is programmed into us.

IsItMeOr · 16/01/2010 20:24

I don't drink alcohol at all or smoke, so can I have some choc after DS has gone to bed please? I'll let him have some when he's a bit older, and certainly wouldn't sit eating it in front of him. I know I should do better, and my diet has improved since we've started BLW. But it is hard not to snack when you're sleep-deprived.

treedelivery · 16/01/2010 20:25
cory · 16/01/2010 20:28

If I maintained a diet of sprouts and apricots in front of dcs and then scoffed maltesers when they were in bed- wouldn't they just draw the conclusion that sprouts and apricots make you fat?

piscesmoon · 16/01/2010 20:29

'Just because I'm a parent doesn't mean I'm not my own person, and I like to eat things that aren't very healthy'

Just as long as you realise that this is the message that you are giving your DCs and when they are grown up and have their own homes they will have exactly the same attitude.

ShinyAndNew · 16/01/2010 20:31

'Do as I say not as I do' - is a phrase commonly used in my house as it was my parents house.

Takver · 16/01/2010 20:33

YANBU - my only exception is that I wouldn't (and didn't) give a small child chocolate other than say the odd bit of milky bar - because of the caffeine content, ie for the same reason that I wouldn't give them tea, coffee or coke.

I think its easy to explain that to a child. Its easy for them to understand that they can't have tea or choc til they're a bit bigger & there's more of their body to dilute it. Same reason that I hardly drink alcohol (very small & low body weight - knocks me out). Only illogical bit mind you is my tea habit

pooexplosions · 16/01/2010 20:34

I'm giving them the message that when they are adults they can think for themselves and choose what they want to eat. What is wrong with that? I also choose to eat salad, which small children generally don't.
Children- eat what they are told. Adults- choose for themselves what to eat. I also teach them how to cook, bake, etc too. I'm not at all worried about their eating habits, or their possible future eating habits.

piscesmoon · 16/01/2010 20:39

I would want to give them the message that everyone needs a healthy diet. Why can't DCs eat salad-it is just another food?

Undercovamutha · 16/01/2010 20:45

Shinyand New - my whole parenting style is based on 'do as I say not as I do'!

But seriously, I eat a load of CRAP! Once the kids are in bed I pig out, and I must stop it and try to lose some weight soon. However, I hardly ever eat sweets/choc/cake in front of DD, and neither does DH, as I don't think it sets a good example.

It is key as a parent to bring your children up to be healthy and eat healthily. I grew up thinking my parents were healthy people, who didn't pick at their meals, didn't swear, didn't get drunk etc etc. Now I am an adult I realise that they didn't appear to be picky cos they only cooked things that they liked, they drank (in moderation) when we were in bed, swore out of earshot etc.

When our kids become adults they will find out the truth about us, but until then I intend to keep up the illusion !

5inthebed · 16/01/2010 20:47

YANBU

I agree with Piscesmoon, she has put into words what I can't in my 3 glasses of wine state

piscesmoon · 16/01/2010 20:54

I have also had 3 glasses of wine but that is explained to DCs because they can't, by law, have it. It is far more difficult to say I had 3 glasses of coke but you must have water.
It depends what your end purpose is. I suppose that a healthy childhood is a good start-even if they abandon it-however I want mine to eat healthily for life and I also want to be healthy myself and so I don't see the point of a 2 tier system. I don't want the message that adults have a 'nicer' diet because they can eat what they like. I want the message that adults have a 'nice' diet that is healthy.
I'm also not very happy about the ethics of imposing a diet on others that you can't impose on yourself.
I think we should all enjoy our food! It just needs everything in moderation.

pooexplosions · 16/01/2010 20:54

They get the message that everyone needs a healthy diet, which is what they, and I (for the most part) have. They also get the message that I'm in charge, am a grown up, and sometimes get things I deem to be inappropriate for them. Like crisps, honey roast cashews and gin.

Swipe left for the next trending thread