To not be having a party for my 3 year old but going to centerparcs instead?

[Fandango]

DH and I have booked a little break away at centerparcs to celebrate DDs 3rd birthday instead of organising what now appears to be the obligatory party. All my friends are having yet another party for their children (having also had them for 1st and 2nd birthdays). When I mention that we are going away instead - people seem surprised or I get odd looks since she hasn't had a party for previous birthdays either. I wouldn't mind but their parties seem to consist of 7 - 8 children running round getting overexcited, upset and tired with the mums and dads (who are all invited too) sat round drinking booze.
So far this year my DD has been invited to a total of 9 parties! I really feel like I'm the only one who would rather spend some quality family time with my child on her birthday and have a party when she's old enough to understand and appreciate it.
Am I in the minority???

I think parties for 3 yr olds are ott.

Yanbu at all.

I love the way you say (having also had them for 1st and 2nd birthdays). Well - yes, that's how most people celebrate birthdays...is anyone telling you to have a party? YANBU to take her on holiday, that's a lovely birthday treat. But I find your attitude to childrens' parties a bit funny like you are surprised that they happen every year, and consist of children getting overexcited and tired! Were you not brought up here?

I think small children's birthday parties are normally an excuse for family and friends to socialise - def at age one and two, I think they begin to get it more at three. I had birthday parties for my DC when they were small as a lovely chance to get together with our friends and siblings and their small children, rather than because I thought the birthday itself was very vital. It sounds like that's how parties work in your social circle as all the adults are getting together too.

YANBU to go to Centerparcs for your DD's birthday, however perhaps YABU for accepting hospitality from your friends for three years if you haven't made an effort to return it at a non birthday time (only if that is what has actually happened of course).

Don't feel obliged-it is more for the parent's benefit at that age and a 3 yr old would much prefer 2 or 3 guests anyway! Going away with family is much better IMO.

Kat - We have had celebrations for her 1st and 2nd birthdays i.e. family over and cake etc but my attitude to how friends seem to run their kids parties is because they just seem to be an excuse for a piss up. When I do eventually organise a party I'll make sure that its for the children and actually have some party games and structure (in the loosest sense) and I certainly won't have the parents getting boozed up. No one is telly me to have a party but since I am the only one in my immediate group of friends who is not having one yet again I wonder if I am wrong??

Do what you want to do!

And you can also do a small "traditional" party at your house if you want.

Mysteryfairy - perhaps that's why I feel a bit weird about not having one since my DD is always invited to their parties. I almost feel like we shouldn't go to all of theirs for that reason. But on the other hand, I think its overkill for all 6 kids on the postnatal group to have parties when their birthdays are so close together anyway.
BTW - I invite all the kids round to play at our house at least once a fortnight and they are suitably entertained, fed and watered so I think I'm off the hook with that one

If people want to have large parties that it entirely up to them-don't feel that you have to reciprocate.

Personally, at three I think you should do what your DD wants to do. After all, it is her birthday! By thst I mean, if she wants a party, then give her one, but if she doesn't seem to care or have an opinion, then do what you want to do .

My DD was adament where and when she wanted her third birthday... but as a second daughter, with a big sister, she is more than aware what a party is - having witnessed her big sis going to many of them!

That said, we also do Centre Parcs for birthday holidays - and my DD have a special birthday fairy who lives there and visits them at night and brings a couple of little presents. My DDs get literally hysterical trying to find the fairy (a light) flash in the trees, and I think a holiday is just as magical as a party. But, at the end of the day - it is their special day and I would ask (and indeed did with my current 3 year old), what they would like to do on their special day.

DD's 3rd birthday, there was me, DH, DS and my parents, we had a tea party and my father did lots of drawing with DD. We are having a birthdya party for her 4th birthday tomorrow, there will be her and her 3 closest friends from preschool.

agree with ellokitty

dd has been planning her third bday since she was, ooh, 2 and two months. I'd get hell if I didn't bother. she knows who she's inviting, where it's going to be, we regularly have to act out the blowing out of the candles/singing happy birthday. She is a girl obsessed

we didn't do a party for her 1st or 2nd - she was too little to understand really. think we did a trip to the zoo that we called her bday party but that was it. but by the third they often know what they want. of course, if she's not bothered then that's great but how are you going to feel if she asks when her party is when she's 3 and a bit?

YANBU. We do family trips (Legoland, Center Parcs) instead of parties.

We have done small tea parties along with this (a couple of friends), and each DS has had one big party.

kat - I think that's me too - I tend to think that far too much fuss is made of birthdays

I think when they are older they appreciate the parties more and you don't have parents hanging about or little kids getting weepy.
Don't think we did parties before 4.