to be annoyed at this joint present situation?

[MummyAnnabella]

my sis is 30 soon and another sis phoned to say think we should get joint present.

so far so good, i say sounds like good idea what did you have in mind? she says has been talking to sis and there is watch she likes. sis's b/f is getting bracelet of same make st £110. but watch is £300.

sis says she will give £50 which is fair enough though we usually spend about £30. she says other sis is in but hasnt stated an amount and seemed a bit put out at whole thing having to state an amount and said she would give whatever was asked. this is also fair enough other sis is generous and i sympathise with her feelings on this one.

so organising sis said if mum also pays in then do-able but mum a bit unsure as just got rest of us normal presents ie about £30 and by my sums would need to pay in about £100 here leaving me and other sis with about £75 each which i am not comfortable with.

i just feel like it is about trying to get as much out of us as she can - the birthday sis backed up by the other one. bday one would have always been spoilt. though to be fair it is organising sis who has suggested the watch as present though it seems to have been mentioned by bday sis and her b/f (cant help but wonder if b/f told to mention.

how would you feel? what would you do?

Well there are a few on ebay for around the £60 mark -

here

How good would she be at spotting a fake!?!

I have a couple of fake charms on my bracelet, wouldn't normally want to wear them, but they were chosen and bought by the DCs so I absolutely love them of course... TBH they are not too bad and other people have looked at them and not realised they are not genuine.

I would be fed up on principle if I was in your position but would not have a problem affording it. If it was going to cause me a cash flow problem I would be firm about saying no - I have two DSis and as loving aunties they would be horrified at any suggestion their nephews and niece might go without.

If you do chip in I hope you end up with something special and lovely for your next significant birthday.

If I wanted something lovely but expensive, I'd be more than happy with vouchers towards it for a present - happier than I would be if I got a watch which would then require new battery/servicing at some point at which juncture i would find out it was a fake!

couldnt do the fake thing just couldnt even if i think she is a tad demanding.

tbh of course i could stretch without having to go without i just think the principle is wrong. i felt a bit bad suggesting a ring at £100 for my 30th from the 3 of them. also my mum feels bad as she didnt get rest of us bigger presents for 30ths. just think presentgiving shouldnt be like this.

is my bday next month when i will prob get less than usual as they will have overspent here!!

Vouchers sound good, with equal amounts from everyone. It really means she gets a lovely voucher and no-one need emphasize anything about the watch- she gets a generous voucher and can decide what to do with it

We buy things for various members of the family like this. But when someone has a birthday and we ask if they are "collecting " for a particular item we just contribute towards it. We never talk about how much the actual item costs or how much to give.

People just give a cheque. It's never been a problem. We would never say "the whole thing costs x amount so therefore you have to contribute x amount."

Very unfair to those who might not be able to afford it.

£75 seems alot to contribute IMO

I think it is a crazy suggestion that this sister gets 3 times spent on her than the rest of you!!!! Whoever this suggestion came from whether it is birthday sis or organising sis just hasn't thought things through.

I would say I will donate £30 as usual for links of London vouchers - birthday sis can then use the money towards the watch if she wants it that much or buy charms for the bracelet if she doesn't.

Or I would say that its all getting too expensive and also you don't feel good about spending so much more on here when you didn't for your other sisters so you will do your own thing

Have you spoken to other sis and mum separately to check that they are all really happy with this rather than feeling put upon by organisising sis?

It's just that from your op you sound like you are not that happy about it...

Why not speak to your sis and mum and if you are going the vouchers route then if you normally give each other about £30 for your birthdays then give the normal amount.

If there are charms available for the bracelet, she would be able to choose charms or the watch if she wanted to put more in...

But don't feel blackmailed into having to give lots more that you are able to at the moment. It's also absolutely fine to say that whilst you would love to give more, given that your circumstances have significantly changed from the days when you used to be single/child free/mortgage free/whatever.

Other thing is to see if you can buy the bracelet off the bf and he will buy the watch. Or if he will take bracelet back and come in with you on the watch if that is what she really wants...

hope it all sorts itself out!

oops. got distracted in the middle of answering that and have just discovered that in the mean time alicet has posted to do exactly the same but so much more eloquently

There's also a sweetie ring from the range that you could buy as an alternative...

Links of London watch for £88

Assuming website is kosher and it is indeed the kind of thing she wants. There is another with a black face as well.

I have 3 sisters. No way would I spend more on one of them for a 30th, and not that amount either.
agree with vouchers or buying her something else, is unbelievably cheeky to ask you for more than you normally give.

I have been in this situation and was supposed to pay £50 towards a present when normally I spend under £20 on my family if I haven't made something for a lot less moeny.
I told them that I couldn't make money out of thin air and to count me out!

I saw the bottom post on the 'last 15 minutes' search, and thought it was a joke - a sweetie ring from 'The Range' which is a shop near here, and you meant a sweetie ring like the bracelets and watches you ate as a child!

Might be quite funny (or not ) to buy an edible sweetie watch, bracelet and necklace set, and present it in a black box if you do decide to go ahead with the gift.