to take a gift back to a shop it wasn't bought from?

[Mmmcoffee]

My DD got a lovely boxed activity set for Christmas - but she already had the same thing for her birthday last year. The same company makes a range of different activity sets.

I have no idea where it was bought from, and don't want to tell the original giver that she doesn't want it, so I went into a local shop and asked if they would exchange it for one of the other sets.

They said yes, not a problem, and followed with "... it was bought here, wasn't it?"

Well of course i said yes, though I went a bit red! And now I'm going to take it back but I feel a bit horrible about it, like I'm being fraudulent (which I suppose I am). But really, it's an exchange and the shop can still sell 'my' item for the same price.

So why do I feel so guilty!

Personally, I could not have done what you did, not knowing where it was bought.

Agree with Gibbon, seems a bit cheeky but then I struggle to bring back things I have bought in shops such as a pair of trousers that are too small/big/whatever. Don't much like asking the shop to take them back

I don't think it's that bad. I once did this at Waterstone's with an unwanted Xmas-present book, and owned up to the man that I honestly didn't know if the giver had purchased it from them, but wondered if they might still exchange. He said yes, as long as we stock the same title we can do that.

yanbu - go ahead. It won't make a difference to them.

if you bought a tin of beans from tesco would you take them back to asda and ask for a refund?

personally, i wouldn't do it. i'd keep the gift and pass it on to someone else as a birthday present.

Dont see it as bad tbh

if they stock it anyway and you just swap for the same value of more it makes no difference to the shop at all.

Hmm, I've considered doing this in the past, but decided against it as it isn't really fair.

You feel guilty becasue you know it's 'a bit' wrong. It certainly isn't stealing or anything, but you are lying.

I'd keep it and give it as a gift to someone else personally. (tight)

SecretSlattern, I don't understand why you'd be reluctant to return something you'd legitimately bought that turned out to be unsuitable -- ?

It would make a difference to the shop if the 'returned' item did not sell as they would lose the money on the item they gave to you for nothing. Personally, I couldn't do that.

I would not do it. I agree with Lucykate.

because I'm a bit strange like that . Don't really know the reason for it, I start getting a bit uncomfortable

Lucykate it's not the same thing though, is it? Asda would not be able to sell on a tin of Tesco beans, obviously. But a shop carrying branded goods would simply re-sell an item that was pristine and part of their usual stock line, so they would not be losing out by it.

Not saying I'd make a habit of it but can't see it as a reason to get on one's moral high horse (that's not directed at you lucykate, I just mean it generally)

If it's a standard, popular item then no problem at all. I used to work in Waterstones and I know it wouldn't have made a whit of a difference to us as long as it was in resaleable condition.

If it was a small shop with a slow turnover then no, I wouldn't.

I don't think that's a problem really. You've exchanged it and they will sell it. It would be different if it was faulty and they were left with either taking the loss or the hassle of sorting it out with the supplier.

Well I think YANBU but I also think I might say,'Oh where did you buy the activity set?dd loves it and I'd like to see the rest of their rage.'

range

Tbh though, if you're going to swap it for something in the same range why not just ask the person who gave it?

You're not criticising their present choice because you're exchanging it for something nearly the same. I can't see why they would mind.

Whoo, I've opened a can of worms!

I suppose I feel guilty because it seems like I'm cheating the shop - but everyone I've asked tells me to go ahead and do it. The present is a really popular set, the shop will have no problem selling it, and I just want to swap it for another similar set. So they're not really losing out in any way.

I just feel bad because I lied when they "put me on the spot". They probably knew I was lying anyway because my face lit up like a traffic sign! I have to work on my fibbing skills

Let yourself off the hook - I don't think you need to let this one keep you up at night!

mmmcoffee, it's not that bad!

Personally, I wouldn't do it but I really wouldn't get upset if someone else did.

If they sell that exact item, and it's in good enough condition for them to re-sell, then it's not a problem.

pranma, the gift came from someone in London and we're in Norfolk. If it was from a 'local' I'd pretty much know where it was bought!

shonas, that was my first thought, but he was SO pleased that he'd thought of giving that particular set, he kept saying how he knew she was interested it that sort of thing and how he hoped she'd love it.

I might get DH to exchange it. After reading some of these views, I'll probably stammer and go bright red and run out of the shop!

If they stock that line it wouldn't be a problem (sounds like they do as they stock the rest of the range). When I worked in WHSmiths this was fine (provided it was in a resellable condition), it would go straight back out on the shelf. The shop won't lose anything as they'll re-sell your unwanted gift.

The shop could have said they wanted proof of purchase and they didn't.

Really, if they'd been that bothered about it they'd have asked you for a receipt.

Someone once tried to return a v expensive textbook to us which had never been sold by our shop. They got v huffy when asked to produce a receipt. And even more huffy (bizarrely) when I opened it up, found out it was full of scribbled notes and refused to exchange it.

You are far from the front of the queue when it comes to customers taking the piss, believe me