bloody family/party politics!!!!

[Coldhands]

We are having a birthday party for DS. It is mainly just for toddlers but we have invited grandparents etc. My cousin has a 1 year old so we have invited them but we weren't planning on inviting all aunts, cousins etc. However I did invite another cousin who I am close to and who takes a real interest in my DS, (the above cousins brother) and I didn't want to invite their sister. We fell out years ago and are polite when we see each other at other families houses but thats about it. I don't like her, she is very two faced and a compulsive liar and not the slightest bit interested in my DS (or any other children) anyway. She has also fallen out in a big way with the cousin I am close to as she is being a total dick (but thats another ridiculous story).

My nan thinks I should invite her, to keep the peace etc but I don't know tbh. I don't like her, she is nice to my face but I know with her everything is about a front.

WWYD?

Invite her.

She will be lost among the throng.

It will make your nan happy. Worth quite a lot in my book

don't invite her. i had one cousin at my wedding, another cousin's (twin of first cousin) widow and his new wife but not their brother. i don't like him.

it's not about your cousin but your DS so invite who you want

How will it keep the peace to invite someone who will have a face like a wet weekend and want all the attention?

Fab Have you met her then, lol. Yes she would want all the attention, she would turn absolutely everything into something about her like she always does.

My nan just doesn't like to 'upset anyone in the family' and thinks we should all do things 'to keep the peace'.

Bet she wouldnt come anyway so id invite her and be the bigger person

Delay / stall and when pushed say you sent her an invite thru the post and have heard nothing. I am guessing your Nan will have told her about the party?

Stewie re your first post, that is exactly what I think with families. I didn't choose to be related to these people. Some of them are fantastic and I love them dearly. Some I would quite happily never see again, and I hate feeling like I have to invite them to things.

It's not up to your Nan though, it's about DS. I appreciate that she probably enjoys seeing all her grandchildren at the same time and imagining it is all a bed of roses between them, but it's not your job to make that fantasy a reality for her. When your Nan throws a party, she can dictate the guest list.

I know it's not that simple in reality, though.

Not invite her, its about your ds and who you want to celebrate the day with.

Thank your Nan very kindly for her opinion but say that its ds party and no more room for anyone else.