to send DD1 to pre-school on the days when I'm not at work?

[lukewarmcupoftea]

DD1 is due to start pre-school in September (I know, a long time away, but I do like to plan ahead!). I currently work 3 days a week (well, on maternity leave with DD2 but back soon), and DD1 goes to a great childminders.

Everyone keeps asking me when DD1 is going to pre-school, and seems to think age 3 is quite late. Well tough, as I don't think she'll be ready before then, plus she's not going to start school until she's 5 as she's a Sept birthday, so will be at pre-school for 2 years as it is. So that's that sorted.

Then they ask what days she's going to do. I haven't the foggiest. I had thought that maybe she would do a couple of mornings - perhaps one day when I'm at home, and one morning when she would otherwise have been at the childminders. However, if she goes on childminder days, I'll be paying both for a full days childminding (as she'll still need to drop off and pick up) and also for the pre-school (although will be getting it part paid by the government I think from the term after she starts). So maybe she should do the two mornings when I'm at home (i.e. Mon am and Fri am, with Tues-Thurs all day at the childminders).

But then I feel guilty that I'm being a bad mother by sending her to pre-school when she could be at home with me. Would that be unreasonable? Or is a three year old happier doing more independent stuff? Or even, is two mornings not enough for her to settle in to pre-school, in which case she would probably definitely need to do the Monday and Friday, plus another morning when I'm at work as well.

How on earth do you decide how much to do?

She doesn't have to go to preschool at all if you are fussed if she goes or not, sometimes preschool is presented as some sort of compulsory thing!

I send DD to nursery (not preschool) three mornings a week, she is 3.7. I work 2 nights a week so this means that usually for one or two of the mornings she is at nursery I am at home. Sometimes I feel abit guility, especially if she says she wishes she was at home with me but she has a great time at nursery, much better than at home with boring old mummy and she gets loads of time with me already.

YANBU to feel abit funny at being at home when she is at preschool, but if you think she will like it then why feel guilty? Could your childminder not take her to preschool for mornings?

I am a SAHM and ds goes to nursery/pre-school 5 mornings a weeks. He goes for the 2 1/2 hours per day that is funded by the government. He enjoys it and it lets me shop/go to the gym, etc without dragging him about with me too.

yanbu. Both mine go to nursery on if I have a day off and I am wondering whether to put them in for an extra morning so I can get things done at home. It's carnage when they are here and I can't even do simple things like make phone calls. If your DD enjoys nursery then let her play while you get organised at home.

Yes, I suppose she could do all the mornings on the childminder days. But then I feel a bit guilty about reducing her time with the childminder, as she loves her so much. Crazy I know. Plus I'd also like to do some of the pick up/drop off at pre-school so I know she's happy there and what's going on there. Gargh. Can't win.

Doesn't going to pre-school help prepare them for school or something?

By the way - DD1 sometimes also tells me doesn't want to go to the CM, but then has a great day. I think she's just grumpy at being woken up some mornings!

Meglet - carnage! Yes, I know absolutely what you mean...

Yup, I suppose it depends on how she gets on with it, which I won't know until September.

I would say pre-school is preparation for school, not child care. Your dd would probably benefit from it greatly so I would positively encourage it, not feel guilty about it. There is a reason the govt put money into free places.

I hadn't thought about it like that portofino, interesting...

I am a SAHM and paid for my 2 to do 2 sessions a week at preschool. Although I love having them around I felt that they would benefit from preschool. It has certainly made transition to nursery/school easier.

Does your childminder have other pre-school age children with her?
If not then your DD will benefit greatly from the interaction with other children.
That way when she gets to school it wont be such a shock to have to sit down and listen, share toys, share an adults attention with other children. These things all have to be learnt and if done before big school then the better for everyone.

Ultimately it is up to you and how you feel your child will cope.
I loved the free time and didnt feel eevn slightly guilty. A frazzeled mum is a crap one ime.

At my local pre school the children are almost exclusively of SAHM due mainly I think to the fact that if you are working your child would be at CM/nursery instead. IME you would be thought more unreasonable not to send a child of three as a)its free b)your child will get to know the other children they will be at school with and c) you get some time to yourself or with younger siblings.
As long as you think your DD would enjoy it don't feel the slightest bit guilty and again IME a three year old can usually copw with the full five sessions you get funding for.

Yes there are other kids at the CM, but only overlapping with DD1's days slightly. The main other child in a couple of months will be DD2!

Starting to feel a bit better about claiming a bit of free time now (well, one on one time with DD2 anyway).