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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want our community midwife to come and see us rather than venture out with a 5 day old baby.

13 replies

ClaireyFairy82 · 13/01/2010 10:32

We live in a small hamlet between two villages Wroughton and Chiseldon, and the regular midwife I see in Chiseldon has been a right pain in the arse throughout my pregnancy. Then Ds arrived on Friday - totally gorgeous and we're over the moon. We saw her superior on Sunday who was lovely for our day 2 check up. She warned us that if my usual midwife phoned complaining that she couldn't make it because of the snow, that she had managed to come up to us so she shouldn't have any problems.

As expected, we had a phone call on Monday from my usual midwife trying to get us to come to her at the clinic in Wroughton with a 3 day old baby because she was worried about getting stuck in the snow. We relayed th message from her superior and reluctantly she came up to see us in the afternoon (but she abandoned her car in a really dangerous place and caused complaint from other residents who were worried about hitting it). But she said that if the snow go worse she did't think she'd make it out to see us today.

We had more snow overnight, but not a huge amount. Midwife has just phoned again to say that she's made it to the clinic in Wroughton (how convenient) but her car is now stuck in snow. Could we make it to come and see her at the clinic. What if we get stuck in the snow? Clearly that does't matter to her. I said we didn't want to go out just in case. She said that it will probably get better by this afternoon so she'll phone back and see if we can make it later. But she hasn't offered to try coming up here to see us later. Alternatively we could see a different midwife tomorrow.

Ds needs to have his heal prick test done in the next 3 days. Do we venture out, stay here out of principle if nothing else or wait to see someone else tomorrow?

I'm really cross because she's so lazy and she expects us to venture out with a 5 day old, but maybe it's just me beig on my high horse. I don't want ds to miss out on an important test and weigh in.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 13/01/2010 10:33

You are not being on your high horse, she should come and see you, and if there is a risk of someone being stuck in the snow, it should certainly be her rather than a tiny baby!

LaurieFairyCake · 13/01/2010 10:34

Surely the test is less important than having an accident?

Stay at home, stay warm - I don't think either of you should be travelling.

ThisBoyDraculaDrew · 13/01/2010 10:35

No way I would take my 5 day baby to go and see a MW (for a "routine" check) in this weather.

Unless you have got any concerns you don't actually need to be seen today...so I would stay in. If need be talk to her superior - sounds as though she is aware of potential "lziness" issues anyway.

If the weather is due to improve wait for her to come and see you tomorrow/Fri for heel prick.

belgo · 13/01/2010 10:37

I agree you shouldn't risk going out in the snow but do you have a local GP who could check up on your baby, and you?

The five day check up is important, to make sure all is well with you and your baby.

ClaireyFairy82 · 13/01/2010 10:38

The test is less important than an accident. But he has to have it between days 5 and 7. what if we get even more snow tonight and can't get out? I don't really know how important the heal prick test is.

OP posts:
QueenOfFlamingEverything · 13/01/2010 10:38

Well, I can see both sides - if its too snowy to travel safely then YABU to expect her to come to you but equally she is BU to expect you to go to her!

Sometimes the weather just means things have to give.

If you have no concerns about your baby (congratulations btw!) then don't go to the check. The heel-prick test can be done when its safe to get him to the clinic again, and the weigh in can wait too.

pooexplosions · 13/01/2010 10:39

Ok, 1) her getting worried about getting stuck in the snow doesn't make her lazy. presumably she has other clients and not just you to think of.
2) if you think she can easily make it from the clinic to you, you can easily make it from your house to the clinic.
3) if you're still not happy, you have been given the option of someone coming out to you tomorrow. What more do you want?
4) You baby is not made of sugar, they will not melt.

YABU.

wilkos · 13/01/2010 10:42

she sounds like a right pain in the arse, tell her you will not be venturing out with a five day old baby and she should come to you.

offer no alternative, keep quiet and see what she says then.

good luck

duchesse · 13/01/2010 10:42

Just stay at home. The heel prick test can easily be done next week when the snow's gone. Unless you're in a high risk category for the things it screens for it's unlikely to be positive anyway. I would imagine that the disadvantages of gong out would outweigh the benefits on this one.

Brioche · 13/01/2010 10:43

Peoples ''fear'' levels to driving in the snow vary considerably and I think its harsh to judge her lazy. Also she may have her own kids etc and getting stuck in the snow could be very inconnvenient for her.

Congratulations on the baby but chill

duchesse · 13/01/2010 10:45

Clairey- my daughter had hers at 2 weeks as the first one was inconclusive (due to her heels having been stabbed so many times already in NICU that the nurse couldn't get enough blood out). Midwife who came to redo had also just redone 9 week old twins, so it doesn't HAVE to be done at 5-7 days. They just need to recalibrate their machine if the baby is not that age I should imagine. Perfectly possible to do it any time. But because the conditions it tests for are quite serious and get worse if untreated, they are best picked up as early as possible.

ClaireyFairy82 · 13/01/2010 11:03

Thanks for the feedback. We've decided to let my hubby clear the car and try the run into Wroughton by himself first after lunch. Then if he's able to get in and out again on his own we'll go and get it done.

This isn't the only reason we think she's lazy. There have been other things throughout my pregnancy that have annoyed me - like making me make separate appointments with the practice nurse on a different day to do my bloods because she can't be bothered to do them in the 90 seconds it takes. Which has meant disruption to me teaching my class on two days a week instead of one. But it seems her superior knows her tricks as she warned us Sunday that she might try it on. It's a shame we can't just have her again instead.

Thanks for your help, much appreciated!

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 13/01/2010 11:38

Out of sheer nosiness, is the superior one called Bernie/Bernadette? She used to be the senior midwife there and she was lovely!

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