Aibu to be a little bit mad with my mom?

[thesunshinesbrightly]

Nearly ever year we go on holiday, i have 3 kid's and i also pay for my mom, this year i want to go to Centreparks and take the dog's, my mom doesnt want to go there, but i said to her 'well i always pay and i want to go there cause i can take the dogs' now she is in a strop,was i right to say that? or should i have kept my mouth shut. This isnt just on holiday's it is days out etc.... also my family pay for her too when they go anywhere, she never offers to pay or says thank you.

Have a great time without her I say!

Who usually chooses the destination?

Is there a reason why she doesnt want to go ie doesnt like the outdoors/not very steady on her feet?

Does she feel like you are putting the dogs before her?

At the end of the day if you are paying then you choose. If she doesn't like it she doesn't have to go.

Thank you for replies, well we normally just go with the flow, i dont really know who decides we just go, if you know what i mean.

No she is fine on her feet if not fitter than me, it's a bit woody and she doesnt fancy it, but i reckon the dogs will have a wonderful time.

I know Darcymum but she is in a mood because i've said anything she has a face like thunder and not speaking, worse than a child

Perhaps not.
Just say that you do want to go there & she can come or not.

Why do you always pay?

I think it needed to be said.

Do you live together?

If not, you don't need to look at the sulking face, do you? Go home / send her home.

She needs to know that she is coming across like a user. If she doesn't like it - she should put her hand in her pocket once in a while!

Diddl - I book it all together and pay on my card and she never even offers to pay half.

Heqe, yes i do, moved back with her a few months ago so i have to look at the face till she has forgotten.

That makes it tougher! When will you be moving out?

Will she really, really hate the place?

Is there some alternative that she can suggest that might be acceptable?

Does she really want to/have to/need to come on holiday with you and for what reason?

If she's likely to be a pain about it all, it may be easier to cut your losses and go without her. If you're living with her, it might be that the break from each other would do you good.

When you say you're living with her - under what circs (if not too personal) i.e. are you paying rent to her, or splitting bills etc. Just wondering if there's some reason why she thinks it's okay for her not to pay her way when you go out, or if she's just an advantage taking nightmare?

I'm not sure, soon as possible.

I'm quite peed off actually, she could offer to pay for herself, i could pay for her travel, but she thinks i'm just being a cow but i'm not. I always pay so at least i should be able to go where i want too surely.

Yes. You can. Book the holiday YOU want. She has 2 choices.

Or forget a holiday this year and get yourself into your own place quicksharp and re-establish the boundaries!

Ginnybag - No i dont think she will hate it she is active and loves the outdoors, though if anything she would love it

No she doesnt have too but she always does it's just normal to me. Break would be nice.

we split the bills and i buy the shopping, dinner etc....

Yes you all are so right, i thought i was being unreasonable.

You can be mad with your mom if you are American. Otherwise you will have to be pissed off with your mum, I'm afraid.

I think you are too - what's the word? - intertwined. Might be good to step back and establish yourself as an independent adult, if that makes any sense.

Now I am NOT calling you childish! but going back to the parents home can change the relationship. Or maybe she's just one of those people with a sense of entitlement. Whatever it is, it is a hundred times harder to manage while you are under her roof. When you manage to get a place of your own (are you looking for private let or waiting for council?) you can have that separation, if you get me.

She can be pissed off with her mom if she's from birmingham or around those parts. I hear they say mom too.

No I think you are right Heqet, i do, we got on fine when i didnt live with her, she knew her place so to speak, but now i have moved back, she seems to have gained control and i dont argue with her as it is a much easier life just to put up with it.

How awful - is there a particular reason why you want her to come on holiday with you? If not, perhaps its time to enjoy a family holiday with just you, your partner and children. It sounds like she is being selfish and ungrateful tbh

I always write Mom, sorry must remember that is not the way to spell

Musical, no reason apart from she always comes with me so it's just normal.

I am not from Birmingham huh!

I'd go without your mum - easier said than done I know. Mainly I replied to make sure you know that dogs have to be kept on leads at all time at Centre Parcs - they enforce this rule pretty forcibly as some people a few villas away from us found out to their cosy when they got chucked off the site'

Section F of the rules 'n regulations :

www.centerparcs.co.uk/makeabooking/terms/

Doing something a particular way just because it's always been done that way is, in the nicest way totally daft reasoning.

book your holiday, for you and the kids and dog. And find yourself a home of your own at the earliest opportunity!

If you don't mind my asking, what's the hold up on that front? Maybe there might be resources available to help you?

Move out.

And call your mother whatever you like.

My daughter calls me Mommy (from the Irish Mamaí). I'd rather she called me Mammy, but she doesn't.

As long as she doesn't call me after something I would expect Scooby Doo to be unravelling to reveal Mr. Clampot the janitor, I don't care.

If you´re living with your mum at the moment, maybe a little time apart might do you both good!

Thankyou Sassy

Heqet - but i am a daft kinda person

I moved out as my abusive ex partner moved down the road from me, i do really need to move out again.

Skidoodle - Thankyou, that is always the way i have spelt it, i prefer it more than mum.