for being upset and what my brother just wrote on facebook

[RnB]

I'm from a big family, the youngest of 7, and I have 11 lovely nieces and nephews. Generally in our family you tell one person a piece of news and within a few days everyone knows.

Anyway, when I found out I was pregnant with DC3 I told my mum and two of my sisters who I'm particularly close to. It was a very stressful time as one of my brothers was seriously ill in Intensive Care (thankfully he pulled through), and I was concerned about the pregnacy due to a previous MMC.

So I was travelling up to see Bro no3 in hospital in London all the time, really worried about him, looking after my boys, working, worrying about the baby etc etc.

On one visit to see ill Bro no3 I told him I was pregnant (he was very pleased for us), and I had a phone conversation with Bro no2 (to let him know how Bro no 3 was) and I told him about the baby then (again, nice repsonses all round).

(sorry bear with me...)

Anyway on one trip up to the hospital to see poorly brother, my sister mentioned how excited she was about my new baby to Bro no1 and he said 'I heard about that from mum. But RnB didn't tell me' and he was a bit funny about it. Sister says 'Oh well, you know what it's like, we just all tell each other and she's stressed about Bro3 etc'

Bro 1 and I aren't particularly close. He left home when I was 5 and although we love each other very much we never call or email or anything. But I always make sure I go and visit him and his family when I'm down their way to see my mum.

I eventually saw Bro1 at Christmas, by this point I'm 18 weeks pg. I chat away to him about stuff, incl the pg but at no point did he acknowledge the baby himself. Nor to DP. I thought this was a bit odd, but as he's a bloke didn't think about it again.

Anyway this morning I posted on FB that my baby had me awake at 4am dancing on my bladder, and a series a lighthearted comments from friends followed. Then my bro1 comments:

'Considering I know nothing about this 'baby' I have no idea what you're talking about'

This has really upset me and I've been on tears over it.

It just seems like a really unpleasant thing to say.

I was never personally informed when his wife got pregnant with her girls - I heard through other siblings! I don't remember personally calling him about my other DCs either - he would have found out through others. Why is he making a fuss about this one?

He sounds like he is being a bit of a knob, but hey we all do that sometimes. If it was my brother I would probably respond with something like "What's up your arse then?".

The family grapevine is how info is spread in my family. I have told Mum I am knocked up and everyone knows. Wouldn't occur to me to call everyone individually and let them know.

FB is totally a crap place to broadcast your personal life because THESE kind of situations occur and then someone gets upset - yourself in this case.

Why do people never learn...

Congrats on the pg but as someone else has already said talk to this brother over the telephone or even better, in person. That way you can set the record straight and get an idea of how he is feeling about everything.

My mum is one of 8(four women and 4 men) and they had a system, the girls each told one brother. (if there was an engagement, pregnancy, birth, death!!!) this was pre-facebook though.

My cousin (I have 32) has his facebook profile open and I saw that he was haivng another child there and i'm not even a friend so i couldn't even tell my mum i knew because she'd have blabbed and then I'd have had to say, but don' say how you know!!!

facebook! the devil's playground and no mistake.

i think your brother might have been embarrassed at some point. something somebody said made it look like he was the last to know his own family's news. previously he'd been blissfully unaware and unconcerned!

Is it possible he feels a bit left out of the family in general ("no-one tells me anything" or whatever), and has blown this one incident up and sees it as a part of something bigger?

Anyway, you've done nothing wrong as you well know
I'd reply light-heartedly along the lines of, "Have you had a bump on the head? This is the baby I was talking about so much with you at christmas!".

He's being an idiot, but its not worth falling out over. Just give him a ring and sort it out. In my family news is always spread around in this way and its never a problem but sounds like there's probably a deeper reason why he's pissed off about it - maybe he feels like he's always the last to hear any news.

YABU He is hurt that you have told everyone in the family apart from him, it's not other family members responsibility to pass on the news it's yours.
Being that you saw him over Christmas and didn't mention it to him he probably thinks you deliberately left him out.
Try looking at it from his point of view.

It's not her rsponsibility to do anything of the sort! Chrisy almighty, it's not as if he's eight years old, is it? Although posting something like he did on a public forum rather gives the impression he is now I think about it.

Family members who play the guilt card or get upset over being "missed out" really need to grow a pair, frankly...