to think that this was a really crappy way to reduce school absenteeism?

[itsmeolord]

DD aged 9 came home from the childminders yesterday very upset.
There had been an assembly held in school headed by a lady from the LEA. She called the assembly "Lazy or poorly?"

She gave a talk on absenteeism and told the children that they were going to hand out fines to parents from now on for children being off school. (£50).
She then read out some names and called the children to the front, these children had 100% attendence this year and she told them they were going to get a treat.
Then she called out some more names including dd's. They were called to the front and asked to explain why they had missed school. After each explanation the woman asked the rest of the children to put hands up for "lazy" or "poorly".
DD said that she had missed a week because she had had german measles, she then burst into tears. Apparently quite a few of the other children were in tears as well.
Alot of children were putting hands up for "lazy", I think this is because they haven't got a concept of what is a good reason for absence or not and it wasn't properly explained.
The lady was counting hands up but not then saying, ok so we have x who think this is lazy , it is/isn't because x y z.
So dd was labelled as "lazy"
At the ned the lady then said something to the effect of "all children who were lazy this term are going to have to find a way to pay back mum and dad that £50...."

I'm really cross with this lady and the head as well for thinking this was a good way to deal with absence.

1. The school has very low unauthorised attendance.
2. There are a fair few children who have medical conditions which require regular time off school and will never get 100% attendance.
3. If there is am issue why not speak to the parents rather than make an example of children in front of their peers?

1. "Lazy or poorly" is a really shitty way to talkm about absence. People are absent for different reasons, bereavement, pre bereavement, family illness, whatever.

Surely there is a better way to differentiate between authorised and unauthorised.

Any ideas on what to do next would be gratefully received. I am thinking speaking to the head firts to clarify exactly what happened is best......

bump

Cory, you make some very good points. I'm am stunned at the way your DD was treated and I hope you really did take action against the school and the head teacher. How anybody who has gone into a job which is ultimately about caring for children can rest at night knowing that they have treated a child like is beyond me!

Of course I accept that I may well be wrong. I don't think though that putting across my point of view is "ridiculous" just because it is not an opinion shared by yourself.

After all by posting in AIBU the OP has invited us to share our opinions even if we don't agree with her.

Cory- I am stunned at the treatment of your poor DD- The arrogance of the HT is breathtaking!

I'm sure OFSTED would be very interested to hear of your DDs treatment- this sort of total disregard for a child's safety would put most schools into immediate special measures. Safe guarding is at the top of the agenda in the new inspection format. Attention to the disability rights act is also part of the SEF. They really would be in the mire if you were to complain.

Similar thing happened at our school about two years ago. I was shocked but didn't say anything because my child stood up to the head, assistant head and class teacher. Was actually talked to by three in one go, three against one can you believe it! Also because by dc didn't want anything more said. Like you was totally in right but children were being approached individually. Almost as if they were checking if they could catch the family out. Since this I have stepped back from helping in school because I cannot wait for our time at this school to end.

Any update from yesterday?

Marking my place too. As a school governor can I just say that I would be appalled if an assembly like that took place in our school - although knowing our HT I know that it never would. However, a letter like the brilliant one Teddybare has posted would certainly make the governors sit up and take notice and probably lead to some useful policy guidelines being laid down by the GB.

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Cory that's awful! Not only that it happened which is totally unacceptable, but that they didn't do something about it when you told them. They wanted to keep the disabled look clean for visitors!? Surely 1 person can't make that much mess, and even if they do the school must have had a cleaner. I hope you did sue them.
Any news from op?

Hello you bunch of stalkers

Meeting was cancelled yesterday by the head, we have had a long conversation on the phone this morning and I am still not really clear on what exactly happened.

memoo - I have made it clear several times that until I was clear of the facts I couldn't be sure what exactly happened. Clearly you feel this is some sort of made up story, entirely up to you. I've tried to be objective from the start.

OK, I repeated to the head this morning exactly what dd had told me, I also stated that I understood that children can exaggerate and that I am sure that the assembly wasn't a total tear fest, however, I wanted to be clear about what happened and in what context.

Head told me that yes, the assembly was about attendance and some children with 100% attendance were called out to the front and given a certificate and told they were going to be treated to a day out.
She also confirmed that a selection of children who had had what she described as "a high level of absence" this school year were asked to stand up. I asked her if she felt this was an appropriate way to highlight absence, she stated that they need to explain things in simple terms to children.

I then (whilst biting my tongue and going like this ) asked her if it was true that the children were asked why they were off and if the rest of the children were asked to vote whether this was genuine or not.
She got a bit woolly here, we ended up having one of those conversations where you turn into Jeremy Paxman and start repeating, "yes but you haven't answered my question have you".....

As far as I can make out, the bit about them being called out and asked about why they were off is true, the voting bit I'm not too sure about because I can't get a straight answer, ie the head is fluffing on about "listening to chidren's opinions". So, I don't know if the lady was asking them to think about whether they had good reasons or if they were actually asked to put hands up etc.
However the head did say they weren't asked to be specific about the reason for their absence, just asked if they were ill or on holiday....

She did say that dd had become a little upset at the end but said that she was the only one. She also said that her teacher had comforted her.
I don't care if she was the only one, I still don't think this is right. I don't think any child should require comforting after an assembly on attendance.

I then got onto the "is 100% attendance realistic or fair?". She gave lots of reasons why it has to be promoted and didn't seem to want to admit that it is impossible for quite a high percentage of the student body.
She did say that it is a good way to award non-academic children and children with SEN, but I felt that was a cop out.

Finally I have asked for her to rearrange our meeting and I want the lady from the LEA there, iof that is not possible I want an explanation in writing from her and the lady from the lea as to why this assembly was conducted the way that it was.

Cory I cannot believe the treatment your DD suffered! Or rather I would prefer not to believe that anyone can be so callous and unkind to a child. Atrocious behaviour by the HT

itsmeolord - if I were you I would send a letter/email at this stage - recapping the content of your telephone conversation and detailing what you want to discuss at your meeting. so far I think you have tackled everything brilliantly and a calm letter, simply putting in writing what was in your telephone conversation will show that you are calm, reasoanble, but bloody serious about getting to the bottom of this - and that you cannot be fobbed of. I hate to play into stereo types but I also think it will illustrate that you are intelligent and eloquent - and thus (in the head's mind) not easily dismissed. I'm not for a second saying that intelligence and eolquence should mean that you are taken more seriously but the weality is, it often does.

""memoo - I have made it clear several times that until I was clear of the facts I couldn't be sure what exactly happened. Clearly you feel this is some sort of made up story""

Actually what I said was "Not sure if the OP or her DC has got things confused"

I am trying to be polite and not cause offence but to be blunt I think you DC is making up some of the things she has told you.

I don't think that you personally have just made the whole thing up OP

Sounds like you need to write down a list of questions, and get written answers to them. It needs doing soon too, before people start saying 'well I can't remember exactly'. I would also be asking other teachers who were present for their accounts, and then take the whole lot to the Governors/LEA/newspaper, even if it was just your child who got upset. They named individuals, that is totally unacceptable. Whether or not anyone got upset is irrelevant, they put children in a situation where there was the potential for them to get upset.

Very on your behalf!

Well done, it sounds like you were admirably firm with the HT!
Have you spoken to other parents about this? It would be useful to get the accounts of other children about what exactly happened and what language was used, before your meeting with the head and the LEA to see to what extent you can corroborate your DD's account.
Personally, in view of the woolliness of the HT's response to you, I would be pressing for a straight answer about the way in which the "lazy" issue was presented to the children. It seems to me crucial to establish exactly what form of words was used and not allow them to weasel out of it with vague statements.
A copy of Teddybare's letter to the Chair of Govs might also be productive at this point.

What's that noise? Oh, it's the HT panicking and backtracking!

I'm very that the HT thinks attendence is a good way to reward no-academic or SEN children, she is inferring that they are more capable of 100% attendece than children who are academic and are not SEN which is a load of rubbish. Children can be unwell regardless of their ability or level of SEN.

It really does seem to contravine all the SEAL stuff our school does. Does your school do the SEAL stuff? I'm sure getting individual children to stand up in an assembly for failing to get high attendence is not good for their social, emotional and whatever growth.

I can't believe this happened.

It doesn't seem as if your dd was exaggerating much if at all, and it doesn't seem that the HT was taken unawares by the event or even thinks it was a bad idea.

I'm with hatwoman that it's time for writing, for all the very lucid reasons stated.

It sounds as though you are handling this very well and I hope I would behave in a like manner if god forbid I'm ever in a similar situation. Can we help in any way?

If it didn't happen as your DD described it the the HT would have come out with a flat out "no", not a whole load of waffle.

Take this issue further.

I am very impressed with your calm manner. I would have exploded with fury at her.

From what the HT had said to you it sounds like your DD was pretty accurate in her recounting of the tale. Now you know some more it is time to put it in writing. If you don't feel the head has taken your concerns seriously then perhaps you should CC a letter to her and the Board of Governors. After that the LEA, your MP and anyone else who you can think of. Well done and keep going!

Message withdrawn

Do you know many parents with dc at the school the same year as your dd and above, if you do I would ask the parents if they would ask their dc what happened at the assembly and write it down.

If you have several accounts that are very much along the lines of what your dd has said then the HT cannot deny it.

I think it's important to find out if anyone else reports that there was "voting" going on and that dc were described as "lazy"

thats is totally unreasonable. I would personally be phoning the head or the head's PA, finding out who was the LEA representative and taking it to their boss.

Total discrimination

Am outraged on your dd's behalf. I also think the 100 percent attendance goal is ridiculous. If dd is ill, she doesn't go to school. And I do tend to err on the side of caution. Frankly I wish more people did, because then perhaps there would not be mad outbreaks of D&V and flu and the like quite so frequently.

DD has never had 100 percent attendance. She is now in year 2. She has had illnesses that have had absolute requirement to stay at home: impetigo (told by GP), bad flu, tonsillitis, scarlet fever. All prob caught from school (such is life).

I would be livid if she were required to justify her absences. But I suspect that her headteacher would be more sensible than yours. When I have rung in apologising for yet another illness absence, the line has always been to keep her off if she is unwell. And the HT has also approved 2 termtime absences of 1 day where I have put in written request.

I agree with those who have said if things didn't happen as your DD described then the HT would have clearly said so and explained what did happen.

I also agree that you have handled this extremely well and that the time has come to put things in writing.

They only reward academic children? This is the only way to reward non-academic children?

What kind of a school is this loon running?