Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another missing school for a day thread

31 replies

FimbleHobbs · 12/01/2010 09:15

The ugly troll scarer post has reminded me to post about this.

I want to take DS (5) out of school for a Friday later in the year. I am working away for about a week at a science for schools event and DH and the DC are coming along at the weekend, but will need to come on the Friday.

DS has so far not had any sick days (touch wood) and I wouldn't take him out for trivial stuff. But is actually something educational (admittedly a lot of it is for older children so will go over his head).

Anyway my teacher friend said go for it, sounds brilliant, but tell the school he is sick.

I would really prefer not to lie, and not to ask DS to lie - AIBU to tell the school the truth or is it likely to end up in a battle with them?

OP posts:
Original poster
FimbleHobbs · 12/01/2010 12:37

bump

OP posts:
claw3 · 12/01/2010 12:45

If you tell them and they dont approve, it will be classed as unauthorised absence.

claw3 · 12/01/2010 12:53

Forgot to add, i doubt very much that they will approve it as unfortunately they do not view absences on perfect attendance up until now. They view it on whether it is necessary.

aluvss · 12/01/2010 12:55

Hi,

I think it's best that you tell them that your son is unwell then atleast it is an authorised absence whereas if you tell them that you taking him out for another reason they will put it down as unauthorised absence.

Runoutofideas · 12/01/2010 12:56

But does it matter what they call it if he's only had one day off. Surely you can't get into trouble for one day "unauthorised absence"?

lucyellensmumagain · 12/01/2010 12:59

oh lie lie lie!! Your child, your decision! Brilliant that he gets to see mummy strut her stuff - he will liken you to Nina from nina and the neurons!

I fully intend to take my DD out of school on a friday and monday so i can go on my sun holiday this year [dons hard hat] and i dont care if the school like it or not. Admittedly she is only in reception so it is less important i think.

We got a note from the parent governers saying taht the gonernment are cracking down on attendance and they will be taking a very firm line on approving absences for holiday etc. What frustrates me is that it is all about their fecking figures for ofsted rather than genuinely thinking that the children shoudlnt have time off school. I do happen to agree that once the leaning proper starts having them out of school for a week is not on, but one day? Go for it! Enjoy

lucyellensmumagain · 12/01/2010 13:01

Of course the only thing with lying is that your son will of course be so thrilled and excited about his weekend that he will want to regale his teacher with the details on his return - best not lie lol

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/01/2010 13:01

I agree with everyone else. Go for it. At that age it isn't really important stuff that he will be missing is it.

Hulababy · 12/01/2010 13:02

I wouldn't lie and tell the truth.

I took DD out of school yesterday lunchtime, so missed an afternoon. Why? I had been in hospital all weekend and had hardly seen her since Friday morning. DD had been a little sad about it all, and been so brave with me being away.

Her school completely understood and she came home with their blessing, and even a get well messgae to myself from her teacher.

OooohWhatAFuss · 12/01/2010 13:02

TBH, 'unauthorised absence' on record at the age of 5 will do no harm, it is only when these absences are happening all the time that there is a problem. Tell the school. I have had occasions where the parent has called to say the child is sick and then the child has come in the next day full of stories about her trip to the zoo/grandma's/friend's party. Then it goes on record that the parent is lying about their child's whereabouts, much more of a problem. The school may authorise it, but no harm for a 5yo if they don't.

I stand by what I said on the other thread though, please support teachers if they go on strike again rather than complaining about the education your child is missing that day

lucyellensmumagain · 12/01/2010 13:07

Do we absolutely HAVE to give the shcool our children's wereabouts? Thats bloody scary isn't it - and a little sad. I have kept DD home when she was poorly just before xmas - i just rang the secretary and told her that DD wont be in today, would you pass the message on? Ok THanks end of conversation.

Original poster
FimbleHobbs · 12/01/2010 13:12

Thanks - I think if there are no repercussions to having an unauthorised absence, I'd rather do that, than start teaching DS to lie.

The head at school has authorised a week's holiday for someone else that I know of so I don't think she is overly harsh.

OooohWhatAFuss, I don't support strikers but promise I won't complain about missed education if teachers did strike!

OP posts:
claw3 · 12/01/2010 13:14

One unauthorised absence wont be a problem, unless your ds catches chickenpox etc and has to have time off.

FranSanDisco · 12/01/2010 13:15

I do not agree with lying to the school BUT my borough fine us for taking children out of school without permission and the Head never gives permission. If you exceed 10 days you will lose your school place . Is this enforceable? She says only exceptional reasons are excepted such as religious holidays (of which only 2 days are really necessary according to the religions consulted). It is a bone of contention because my dc's are never off sick and are achieving above target. Everyone who tells the truth gets the fine = £50 per child. I therefore lied when we took dc's out in December at end of term. DC's teachers knew the truth as the dc's let it slip but I've yet to be challenged by the Head.

RumourOfAHurricane · 12/01/2010 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SE13Mummy · 12/01/2010 13:20

I would write a simple note to the Head stating that on the X of whenever your son will be attending Y with you and that as it is an educational activity you wish him to be recorded in the register as either 'educated off site' or 'attending an approved educational activity'.

Both options are within the control of the Head and both are perfectly legitimate. You might wish to add that you will of course be discrete about the Head's decision as you wouldn't want to put him/her in the position of having set a precedent...

I say the above as a teacher who until recently was in charge of attendance - I always used these codes for things like this.

LeightonCourtDiscoQueen · 12/01/2010 13:23

FSD Are you saying that your LEA immediately issue £50 fines to parents whose child has a days unauthorised abscence?. I had never heard of the fine business being so strongly enforced before

Lucky we don't live where you are - we occasionally take the DC out to leave one day early on holiday.

I think attending a science event will be much more educational than a day in class, anyway!

claw3 · 12/01/2010 13:25

The school wont record it as 'educated off site' as the educating has to be done by a teacher or by work sent home by the school.

Sorry to be the voice of doom and gloom, i know this as ds was recently in hospital and was educated by a hospital teacher.

Original poster
FimbleHobbs · 12/01/2010 13:27

SE13Mummy, that is really useful, thank you! I will write to the head.

'Luckily' DS has had chicken pox already, and very obligingly had swine flu at half term, hes quite helpful like that...

OP posts:
SE13Mummy · 12/01/2010 13:28

If the school want to they could record it as 'educated off-site'; this is done for Y6 pupils who visit secondary schools when the 'education' they receive is a tour by a bunch of Y7s!

piscesmoon · 12/01/2010 13:32

I would never lie. I have done it very rarely but I have just written a letter saying 'xxx will not be at school on Friday because....' there has never been an argument-the worst that can happen is an unauthorised absence.

FranSanDisco · 12/01/2010 13:32

LCDQ - yes the fine is enforced for any unauthorised absence. My friend flew to Cyprus on the last day of term (which is a half day) and wrote to the Head to say flights has altered etc. She has received a fine for her two children totalling £100.00. We were abroad for Christmas and no other UK family experienced this type of strong enforcement. I am treated the same whether I take the dcs out for 1 day or two weeks mid term. She is a grim Head, scary!!

MNingatmidnight · 12/01/2010 13:34

I can't believe people are syaing to lie. Why on Earth would you teach your child to lie to their teacher and classmates? Even to save a £50 fine I would not ask my dd to lie for me.

Just tell them the truth. So flipping what if it goes down as unauthorised. Why does it matter?

clam · 12/01/2010 13:36

This hacks me off. I refuse to be answerable to some invisible government quango who have ordained that I cannot make decisions about my own children. The bloody targets they're trying to attain are just to make them (the government) look good, and they're frightening the life out of law-abiding "good" parents for taking their kids out of school for the odd day, when the ones that they should be targetting (those whose kids are persistent truants) couldn't give a monkeys.

allsnowedoutagain · 12/01/2010 13:43

I wouldn't lie as a five year old is liable to let it slip. I have recently taken my year 1 child on a family holiday. Was to celebrate a family birthday so no choice on time. Other personal reasons too. Although verbally agreed new rules came in preventing head from agreeing it. Under rules I could have been issued with an Penalty Warning notice meaning I would be fined if it happens again. Touch wood this hasn't haoppened so I can't imagine any sanctions in your case.

Swipe left for the next trending thread