to be a bit worried for friends DD?

[macdoodle]

She is 8, the same as my DD1, she has a teenage brother and sister.
I am good friends with her mum, but we do have differing views on some aspects of parenting which I respect. All of her DC have TV's in the bedroom (and Sky boxes) and the elder 2 have laptops in their rooms. I am firmly of the TV and computers in public rooms, though I am sure this may change as my DC get older, as my eldest is 8, the same as her youngest. But just to emphasise the difference and why I am not sure if IABU, they have 6 TV's just about one in every room, we have 1 in the lounge.

Anyway, her younger DD got a laptop for xmas - I was a bit , really cant see why, my DD will use my laptop under supervision and will go on the internet again closely supervised.
She told me the main reason, was so she could MSN with some friends from a club she attends, these friends are all older than her (10-12ish).

So with all the snow, school closed etc, the children (we all live in the same close) have mostly been playing out and in and out of houses. They came over for coffee the other day, and I mentioned we hadnt seen much of her DD, I hadnt been that surprised as I know she isnt mad on the cold.

To my , my friend said, oh no she has has spent most of the time in her room, with the curtains drawn, MSN'ing her friends and on the internet
I was so shocked I only managed to mutter something about that not seeming very safe as she is very young to be able to weed out worrying people online
She dismissed my concerns saying she is very sensible (which she is but online paedophiles are very cunning)!

God, she is a very good friend, and I am very fond of her DD, but I am alarmed and worried for her. I am not sure really, am I over reacting, am I out of touch with the times, am I seeing danger where it doesnt exist
Should I just trust my friend and her DD and not get involved, or should I talk to her again and mention parental controls and monitoring etc (she doesnt)

You are very kind to worry - but I think you are BAbitU and, dare I say it, a bit judgey. Different strokes for different folks and all that!

If she has teenage brothers/sisters then she is much more likely to know more about the internet/be more savvy than your DD.

If you're really concerned, you could always have a conversation with your friend and frame it thus:

"I'm a bit worried about my DD and the internet. How do I stop her _ (insert concern as appropriate!)"

MSN/facebook et al are very much part of youngsters lives these days. Whether we like it or not!

All children should be monitored online, for things they intentionally and unintentionally get involved in.

I think YANBU, but I have had this debate with many people on mn before. I have the same mentality as you with regards to tvs in rooms etc, and as much as people say 'well, you will see in a few years time' I know I wont, and that I will stick to my guns!

Fair enough, msn/facebook etc are park of youngsters lives these days, but an 8 year old being allowed to spend all day in her room on the net with the curtains drawn?? I would be very and too.

DD is too young for msn/facebook et al. She is 11 and won't be allowed private access to those sites until she is the legal age for them - I think facebook is 14? and Msn is 13?

Even then she will be monitored. I quite rightly understand your concern and I think she should not allow it.

But you cant do anything, crappy parenting is everywhere.

My DD is 9 and has a laptop in her room that my Dad gave her. Although she hardly uses it as she likes to hassle us all day long spend time with us downstairs, we have all the parental controls set up so she can only go on sites that have been approved by us. She does use MSN, but again it's only people who we've approved like my Dad and DHs parents.

I agree that children shouldn't have unfettered access to the internet, but it's not all dangerous, and is, like it or not, part of young peoples lives now.

And I don't consider letting a child have a computer in their room crappy parenting laurie

Neither do I agent - DD has a computer which she is allowed to take to her room which is restricted to club penguin.

Unrestricted access to the internet, letting her stay in all day on it - for an 8 year old is bonkers parenting. Not the laptop itself.

DD is nearly 13 and she has her own laptop but I refuse to let her have the internet key so she can only use it downstairs plugged into the internet box thingy .

I am quite liberl in terms of her having lots of freedom etc but the internet is a whole world out there full of wierdos not to mention the porn you can find accidently!

And I haven't been out of the house for the last few days, so I'm not surprised she hasn't either!!!