feeling fed up....

[AliGrylls]

Today I am feeling in a bad mood and I need to know whether I am justified for being in my bad mood.

I'll Start with saturday - my sister has twins. I was very excited and really happy for about 2 hours. Then I found she was really ill due to high blood pressure.

Anyway, apparently my mum says she is having a horrible time and to go and see her midweek for an hour or so. So I make a plan to go and see her wed evening before my birthday celebration and after a meet up with my ante-natal friends (which is actually a week overdue already due to snow).

My parents who are divorced then consort, without telling me, for my dad to come and stay with me on Wednesday night so he can go and see my sis on Thursday. I only find out about this morning when my dad called to say he is coming.

I told DH and DH said well what about DS. Your mum is supposed to be babysitting and if your dad comes down he will want to play with DS and it will ruin his routine, so we won't do your birthday this week and we have a quick dinner and then come straight home.

I am just feeling fed up with the lot of them. Am I being unreasonable for thinking they have all lost the plot (apart from my poor sister).

I'm afraid I don't really understand your OP.

What are the distances involved here?
How far away is your sister?
What were you planning to do for your birthday?

Why not either ask your Dad to come the following / previous day or do your birthday dinner the following / previous day?

I have no idea if those options help as, as I said, I don't really understand your OP!

or see your sister the previous / following day for that matter?

still confused.

i dont understand either.

My sister is in a hospital the other side of London. My mum and I live within 5 miles of one another (we live in suburbs).

My dad lives in Dorset.

DH is now saying that he is putting his foot down because my mum does not have a travel cot and I either have to can my birthday for another week or tell them both what is happening seeing as they have basically dictated what they think is convenient.

Haven't you got a travel cot for your child? I don't see why your mum should have one if you don't

I'm still not really that clear to be honest.

I understand that your Dad will need to stay with you as he's travelling a long distance and wouldn't really want to stay with your Mum ie his ex wife.

There seems to be a LOT planned for Wednesday - your meet up with your friends, your visit across London to your sister, your birthday celebrations and now your Dad coming down as well (if I'm following?) - why don't you just move a couple of the things to different days?

I understand that your friends meet up isn't easy to reschedule as there are lots of you involved. So why not go see your sister on Tuesday or Thursday, or ask your Dad to come down first thing Thursday instead and stay over Thursday night not Wed night? Most visiting hours don't start till the afternoon anyway.

Or just postpone your birthday treat for a day, surely it doesn't need to be a whole week?

Have no idea where the travel cot fits in, sorry. If you're on the NW side of London though I've got one she/you can borrow - or buy one from ebay? Ours was £10 off there and so many friends have had use out of it now!

I think you need to prioritise what is important. I would go and see your sister, let your dad stay and while he's at it, couldn't he babysit?! Would probably give the antenatal meet up a miss, or postpone it.

Have just cancelled my birthday plans again.

I don't really care who babysat so long as someone did. My mum basically refuses to come over to babysit because otherwise she has to drive home at midnight. DH is saying it would mean that he would spend all day travelling from place to place, would not enjoy his evening and would not even be able to drink.

Who is right here? I am really pissed off. Why can't people just be nice because it is my birthday and I want to see my sister on the same evening?

If you really want honesty... I think you're being incredibly selfish!

It's your birthday. Your sister has just had twins and is ill in hospital, and justifiably, people are putting your birthday to one side to be able to rally round.

Can you not put your birthday back a week and concentrate on someone that needs you?

When I just read that post I realised how bad I sounded.

I think I am just being grumpy today - maybe it is my menstrual cycle returning to normal.

DH and I are having a few little problems at the moment which I think has mad me feel a bit down as well.

Oh bless you. Sorry for being blunt. There is obviously more to it xxxx

ah, tis never as simple as it seems! But please be grateful for someone who has your DS overnight, has him at all! DD2 is four now, DP and I have been out together, ooh, less than four times since she was born and on those occasions it has been for an indian meal (nothing wrong with that, very nice) but basically been had at about 9.30 at the earliest as DD doesn't settle well - and even then, we are met with - "oh, you wont be long will you?" so we feel like we have to bolt our food and rush home! Birthdays? What are those?

Actually, im feeling grumpy today too, for much what ive posted above, DP and I were thinking about going out for one of our rushed indians on NYE, however my mother decided to get the hump over some xmas puddings and didnt speak to me for three days - conveniently! So we didn't go out again - DP and i are having problems too, so a night out would be lovely, but a NIGHT, from about 8pm til midnight, a proper, relaxed, take our time night out - not hour to bolt our food rush being made to feel guilty couple of hours!

Unless your birthday is in single digits, YABVU.

Lucy, I think DH and I are feeling in a similar situation. My mum is always happy to take BabyG but it always has a caveat attached to it, and it mostly is at her house which means one of us has to drive and then we don't really have a proper relax.

DH is taking some strain with work as well and BabyG has decided to stop sleeping through the night which is making both of us grumpy.

Anyway, I am in better shape today and went to see my niece and nephew this morning. They are soooo lovely, yet so tiny. I love babies.

awwww me too

Can't your dad babysit on Wednesday night? It doesn't really matter if your DS goes to bed a bit later than usual does it? Or ask your dad to arrive a bit early so they have time to play for a while?

You don't sound like you are unreasonable you just sound fed up and stressed. If this wasn't mumsnet I'd offer a hug

That is sweet of you fimbles. Hug accepted. All problems sorted out.

TELL THEM ALL TO SOD OFF (APART FROM YOUR SISTER)
Hope she is soon better