AIBU or just thinking too much into this?

[DoingTheBestICan]

Background info first,DH is the eldest & he has a younger ds who PIL's think the sun shines out of,especially her 2 dd's to the expense on our ds.

Anyway,you get the jist,so every yr we buy them Christmas presents & you think i would learn by now as every yr fil asks us for the reciept for dn's gifts cos they dont like them.

I always get them really good presents,i think about them & they are in the region of about £35ish.

So this Christmas sil had bought our ds a gift that we had already got him,no problems we thought,we wont bother asking for the receipt to swap it.

FIL came yesterday & asked us for the receipt for the dn's gifts & i said i dont know where they are i will look for them.

You would think i would learn by now & just get them a voucher but i like lo's to have a gift to open on Christmas Day to play with.

Anyway i know the gifts i bought are now 1/2 price so i am tempted to say i cant find the receipt so then if she wants to change them she will only get 1/2 the money back.

Oh & MIL was the one who gave me a few hints as to what to buy them so i know what we bought wasn't duplicated.

I know i am being petty but its so annoying,next yr they are getting vouchers.

AIBU?

I know i am tbh but i want to be childish about this.

TBH i dont want to ring my sil,if i do i just think it will drag on & on,i am just going to ignore their request for the receipt & let them get back what they can from the shop.

FIL sees himself as their substitute 'father' as her & her boyf split up & will run there at the drop of a hat to do her bidding.

Whenever we go to the ils home you can guarantee one or the other of the dn's will be there & they run over to GF & climb all over him & say to ds to stay away as he is their GF not his & FIL has a weird smirk on his face & allows them to say that.

I would say 'sorry I have thrown them in the bin I as was sure I had got it right this year as I checked ideas with MIL before buying them' lots of sarcasm and passing the blame .

Next year when you get the gift vouchers you could make a point of reducing the amount right down 'after all it would of been nicer if I could of got them something they would of liked rather than needed to swap'. When they are a bit older you can ask the kids directly what they would like as they will tell you the truth rather than just a price tag present.

Doingthebest, sounds like its more about the FIL, than the receipt.

What do you say when your dc's are told its not their GF?

I say yes he is ds's GF too but i can tell noone is really listening so we have kind of given up now.

Doingthebest, its terrible that your FIL doesnt say something and sits their smirking.

I would have to say something to FIL, for letting it go on.

You can't let that continue it will really upset your ds as time goes on. Try something like 'I am sorry dn that you don't like it but FIL is also ds GF and you have to share him doesn't she FIL?' and if he does not answer 'doesn't she FIL? and if still no answer eye contact with FIL 'i just asked you a question, dn has to share you with ds as you are GF to both of them arn't you?' and so, on not at all rude but you are forcing him to back you up and put a stop to it. The rest of the nonsense is much harder (I speak from bitter bitter experience!) but at least that comment can be stamped out if you follow the same routine each time .

Thankyou all,carrieboo75 i will certainly be saying that next time,i think he will be so shocked he wont know what to say.

How awful of him to smirk and allow them to get away with saying he's their grandfather not your ds's. Weird.

To be perfectly honest, I would rather not have contact with one side of the family than allow my child to experience that sort of thing. If it was a one off, obviously the greater benefit to him is to have his grandparents. But if an on-going thing which undermines him as a person then I would rather stop seeing them.

What ever you do, I definitely think you need to always speak up for your ds. I have had to learn to do this with dh's family - I just tell myself, if his mother can't speak for him, who will? And that spurs me on - I would rather have a bit of awkwardness between adults than have my child undermined.

Good luck anyway - they sound 'orrible and you sound like you have the patience of a saint!

Good luck, I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you do say it. he he he

Do you know you are right,DH & myself have talked about this no end as you can imagine & we came to the conclusion that when ds grows up he will see for himself the situation & can then decide himself whether he wants to keep in contact with them or not.

But i have had enough now, the next time they play their little mind games i am going to speak up.

Maybe i have played it all wrong & they now see fit to treat my ds like that.

I would just give them the receipt and buy vouchers next year.

Once Boots have reduced them by 75%, go out & buy them next year's toys. Save your self some money.

If she wants to take them back, she won't be able to, as they'll be too old by then.

good for you, Doing.....good luck.