to not want to go on holiday again with friends?

[Mermaidspam]

Went abroad last July with DH, dd (6) BF, her dh and her dd (6). Dds are best friends too. We had a fab time, honestly the best holiday we've ever had.

The problem is that they are wanting us to go away this summer through the Sun holidays to a caravan park. BF has stated quite often how much she adores Haven, whereas we hate it! We have been to a couple of sites and can't stand the cheesiness, the constant in-your-face selling merchandise, the over-priced goods/food/drink, etc, etc.

She also wants to go with another couple and their child who we don't really see eye-to-eye with (with things like leaving their child (age 2) to wander off, and numerous other things). I don't dislike them, just not my cup of tea IYSWIM.

So, we were discussing this with my parents tonight and they have offered to go away with us (to a small caravan park in Dorset), them paying over 2/3 of the cost. We would therefore be getting a fortnight away for £500 approx. We get on really well with my parents and spend quite a bit of time with them.

The dilemma is - how do I tell my friend?

I don't want to hurt her feelings but I don't want her to presume that we will be going away with them every year. We really did have a great time last year and I would be very willing to go abroad with them next year, should the opportunity arise.

(Sorry for long post!)

That sounds crap! Sorry! Hopefully people will understand what I mean

Maybe mention to your friend that although you enjoyed last year's holiday, it's not something you would want to do every year, but would maybe consider it again next year? And maybe also say it worked well for 2 families, but not sure it wou7ld work so well for 3. Maybe she will then get the message without being put out.

I know what you mean.

Do your parents know how you feel about this? If they do you could always go along the lines of "we had a really great time, last time, but my parents feel that its their turn and I don't want to hurt their feelings"

or

"sorry, we can't afford it, my parents have offered to take us with them"

Can't you just tell the truth, that your parents have invited you to go with them this year (and are offering to pay) and you'd like to take them up on the offer. Maybe in the future, you'll go away with the friends some other time. All sounds reasonable to me.

To soften the blow, could you do a weekend away with your BF & family this year? (to somewhere you'd all enjoy?)

Just be straightforward - frame everything in a positive light...

your parents have offered this... you and family are looking forward to it because...
You would love to go with BF too, but can'f afford it, but can we sort out something for next year?

Tell the friends that you have been invited to go on hols with family, not a chance you often get, its SUCH a good deal money-wise and that funds are a bit tight, that you feel you owe the family a chance to spend quality time with your DD whilst she is still young (they are only 6 once, DM and DF aren't getting any younger etc) so on this occasion you will have to pass up the chance of the super break with them. Quickly add that however you can't wait for next year when you all get the chance to go to so-and-so country, you hope that they can appreciate how you feel, none of which would be untrue from the sound of it.

You could even add the white lie that your parents have told DD of the forthcoming holiday with them and that DD is SO looking forward to it....

I don't see the problem tbh. You have been away with your bf once - it is hardly like it is a given that you are going to do the same thing every year. If she is a good friend she will get this and if there is another couple that they had asked then its not as if she is going to be left high and dry is it?

just tell her that this year you would like to go away with your parents. And say that you are certainly up for going away with them in the future but its not going to work out for you this year.

Snow, Simple, Doozle, WWC and Vallhala - Cheers! Wasn't expecting such good advice so quickly!

I think I'll use a combination of all your advice actually, saying that my parents have offered to pay and we'll go away together next year. Also, she's got the other couple so it's not as if I'm saying they have to go on their own.

We're meeting on Thursday night to discuss where and when to go so will have to bring it up before then. Think she still might be miffed as our DDs tend to keep each other occupied and she'll have to entertain her dd when she's away this year!

alicet - it's kind of already been decided for us IYSWIM. That's where the problem lies, that I've got to tell her "sorry, we've changed our minds" as she's steaming ahead with the plans now.

Ohhh I see. That's more difficult then.

hmm, I know!

She has kind of took over as she's the link between the 3 families, IYSWIM.

So did you actually agree to go with them somewhere along the line...or has she just assumed that you will? Am just thinking, both of these scenarios would need a different approach.

Tell her your parents have offered to pay for you to go away with them and you?re taking them up on the offer because a) you?re skint and b) you don?t want to upset them by turning down their offer of a free holiday and then paying money to go away with your mates.

Somewhere in between really! We said something along the lines of "Yeah, good idea, we'll get together and discuss it".

Cheers Spanner, It's my 30th in March so may use that as an excuse (that it's a birthday present from my parents).

Is £1500 for a caravan holiday not a little steep?

There you go ? problem solved. No half-decent friend would put you on a major guilt trip over giving priority to your parents.

Enjoy!

Champion - sorted!

gerontius - for a fortnight in August for the 5 of us? I don't think so. Know of anything cheaper?

Yep, good idea, you can say you've just found that's what they want to give you.