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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am not being unreasonable re weaning

63 replies

memoo · 10/01/2010 17:58

DD is just a few days off four months.

She is a very hungry baby and feeds every 2 1/2 hours in the day til about midnight where she will then go until about 8am most nights.

I am more than happy with this, I think we're doing fab despite the constant feeding which I think is pretty normal for a young baby anyway.

However its seems I am surrounded by people who have different ideas. My Mother and mil are both badgering me to start weaning her because in MIL's words "the poor little mite is starving" with is usually followed by "in my day ..... BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Now even a friend of mine who had a baby just a few weeks before me has started weaning her baby.

It seems I'm the only one who thinks DD isn't ready yet!

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 10/01/2010 17:58

YANBU

they ABU

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 10/01/2010 17:59

YANBU

Just ignore the loons who think a baby more than a week old needs steak and chips.

Southwind · 10/01/2010 18:02

YANBU - you know whats best for your baby.

Just out of interest coz I have a hungry baby around the same age, how much does your DD weigh and how many oz is she taking?

drinkyourmilk · 10/01/2010 18:02

Just smile politely and nod your head while picturing them running horrified down the street with no clothes on. Then say - i'll think about it.

MrsBadger · 10/01/2010 18:03

yanbu and you are doing brilliantly

I recently got drawn into this debate on Facebook, and people were spouting some real crap (inc porridge from 6wks)

if you like you can fib and say you tried her on baby rice and she was horribly ill / upset / came up in a rash / grew a second head etc so you are waiting.

thisxgirl · 10/01/2010 18:05

YANBU.

It's a common belief though. My DS is six months in a week and, under pressure from MIL and a couple of friends and other people's assumptions that I weaned ages ago, I have tried him on baby rice, pureed carrot, pureed pear and banana the past couple of weeks. He too feeds every couple of hours but sleeps through the night. He's not that interested in it though, and even though MIL says "all babies thrust their tongue a bit at first, he's got to get used to it!", I do expect I'll know when he's ready. He's ticked pretty much all of the points of the weaning checklist, except he doesn't gobble it down so I'll wait for that.

It's very old-fashioned idea that babies should be weaned quickly and there's no harm in waiting a little longer - apart from anything else, it makes mum's life easier! Purees and baby weaning paraphernalia are more complicated than milk!

Original poster
memoo · 10/01/2010 18:06

Southwind, She weighs 16lbs and is taking about 7-8oz's per feed. I tried her on the hungry baby formula but it made her really constipated.

OP posts:
thisxgirl · 10/01/2010 18:08

I actually checked out the ready-made purees the other day out of interest and there is a chocolate and banana pudding and banoffee pudding available for 'all ages - 4 month +' which I thought was pretty disgusting. It's one thing to try your baby on the purest of foods after 4 months but chocolate pudding flavours?

Original poster
memoo · 10/01/2010 18:13

Glad its not just me then! I really want to wait as long as I can. Hungry baby formula made her constipated and really off so I imagine giving her food would be even worse. Her tummy just isn't ready!

OP posts:
Original poster
memoo · 10/01/2010 18:14

"chocolate and banana pudding and banoffee pudding available for 'all ages - 4 month +"

uuh! what weird food to give such a young baby!

OP posts:
annatw9 · 10/01/2010 18:19

just direct them to the NHS website which clearly states that all the medical evidence/research indicates that weaning should not start until six months. FULL STOP! poor you having to listen to others opinions, but you know, patience is a virtue and you will be rewarded in other ways if you keep your cool ! good luck

Southwind · 10/01/2010 18:21

Ahh bless, my DS is about 3 weeks younger and weighs the same he is on hungry baby aptimal bout 5-6oz 5 times a day, works for him.

Feeding as we speak and typing one handed

I get "you should wean him" from the older mothers in my family but I think I will wait as long as poss

loubielou31 · 10/01/2010 18:25

It's a good lesson to learn now that only you know your baby best and therefore who gives a stuff what anyone else says or does with their babies. Listen to what people say, nod and smile and then promptly forget almost all that you've been told because most of it's rubbish.

thisxgirl · 10/01/2010 18:28

memoo - my DS in on Hungry Baby formula and still feeds every two hours!

ChocolateMoose · 10/01/2010 18:38

YANBU, just enjoy the midnight to 8am sleeps! Why make life more complicated if the official health advice is not to and there are no particular reasons to do so? And then you can skip the purees altogether if you want to. My baby's a couple of weeks older, still waking a lot in the night and I've no intention of putting him onto solids until about about 6 months.

LittleWhiteWolf · 10/01/2010 18:49

My DD is 6 months old today and we have been doing blw for a week. My mum has shut up at once when she saw DD holding her own food and munching away like a pro having constantly harrangued me about "hurrying up and weaning" and how I was "on baby rice at 2 months" etc etc. She has also renounced the evils of blw (something she knew nothing about) when she saw how easily DD feeds herself.

We all get a lot of stick, especially first time mums from others who've done it all before and so are clearly experts
You will know when your daughter is ready to wean and you must trust your instincts.

As an aside regarding the baby food, I read the other day that even though the WHO and medical evidence raised the age of weaning from 4-6 months, the law hasnt changed which is why we get food advertised as being suitable from 4 months.

OP, next time anyone hassles you, just say "babys before 6 months of age have a very immature digestive system so any food they ingest will just pass through their bodies without them being able to withdraw any of the nutrients. Breast milk or formula is all they need for the first 6 months as they are packed with nutrients and so are easy for the baby to get nourishment from. Feeding small babies food only means they get less of what they need, because they're filling up on stuff they can't digest properly." Thats from the Gill Rapley book on baby led weaning.

Original poster
memoo · 10/01/2010 20:21

I will try and memerise that littleww, its a good response! nobody could argue with that

I'm very keen on skipping the purees and doing blw, its sounds a lot more relaxed.

xgirl, bless your little baby being so hungry, every 2 hours is hard work but I just keep telling myself that this time will pass before I know it.

Southwind, your DS sounds gorgeous, bet he's a lovely little chubby thing like my DD. She has cheeks like a little hamster

Thanks everyone for the replies

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 10/01/2010 20:24

YANBU

It may be worth trying a different formula though - DD was the opposite and was much hungrier on SMA than C&G.

Irons · 10/01/2010 20:31

Weaning is messy hard work. Don't be pressurised. If you're not ready and you don't think baby is, then you won't enjoy it.

Undercovamutha · 10/01/2010 20:36

YANBU. However I think most mothers these days hear this from THEIR mothers/mils. Me and DH still joke that his mum expected DD to be eating burger and chips by 3 months.

FWIW, I started weaning DD at 5mo and DS at 6mo. I just knew deep down that that was the right time.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 10/01/2010 20:36

I'm getting the same from MIL because DD is going through the 4 month sleep regression stage and waking every couple of hours during the night. Apparently she's hungry (which I know because she's wanting to BF), however MIL seems keen to get her weaned as she needs 'more'. I appreciate her interest and I'm sure she means well but I found a nod and a 'hmmm' do the trick; she got it all out of her system and DH (bless him) said we'd be doing BLW when DD was old enough to sit up in her highchair Figured that as MIL won't have the opportunity to feed DD anything, then she might as well pass on her opinion and we'll just ignore.

As it happens (without baby rice) DD was back last night sleeping 7:30pm-3am and then woke again at 7:30am. Clearly she doesn't need baby rice to sleep!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 10/01/2010 20:38

Not gloating on the sleep front, I fully anticipate we'll be back on 2 hourly waking again tonight

PfftTheMagicDragon · 10/01/2010 20:43

I had it from people with DD.

I know that previous advice has been 4 months. But I also think that people's view of the past gets a little warped. I had people saying to me " i weaned mine at 10 weeks, he was hungry!" And this is a child who is 4 now. I think maybe things get a little blurry!

MrsChemist · 10/01/2010 20:55

We managed to avoid most of these comments by pre-emptively telling everyone that we weren't weaning 'til 6 months. My mum said she weaned me at 3months but conceded that a lot has changed since I was a baby, and hasn't mentioned it since. MIL said the advice to wean at 6mo was "rubbish", but she hasn't mentioned it again either.

I think it's also because me and DH were so firm, basically saying, "We aren't weaning MiniChemist 'til 6 months and that's final. End of discussion."

ahedgehogisdueinMarch · 10/01/2010 20:56

I kept getting this from my mum with DS when he started waking during the night - he had slept 8-7 from about 12 weeks and was ebf.
I asked her to buy me the blw book
It didn't help that most of the mums I knew in RL (NCT) all started at 16 - 18 weeks and kept going on about how I should start purees soon.

I held fire until DS was 24 weeks when he took a crust of toast off my plate and knawed on it quite happily for about 25 minutes.

I am proud of the fact that I have never pureed anything, or bought any jars and DS is now 18 months and will eat ANYTHING unlike some of my NCT friends who have really fusssy eaters who need to be spoon fed when we go out for dinner