not to buy a second gift...?

[PDR]

I went to a baby shower yesterday and took along a gift for the baby and a little something for the mum-to-be.

No problem with that.

But a lot of the other guests had brought "a little something" and said they would be giving their main gift once the baby has arrived...

Now I spent around £40 so I do not really want to buy another gift but is this really what people do...?

The baby is due in 3 weeks if that matters.

I was just going to give (another) card!

AIBU to only give ONE gift and not feel bad?

YANBU, do whatever you want to do.

yanbu
bsby showers in this country haven't got their etiquette conventions sorted out yet so feel free to make it up

YANBU

Absolutely ridiculous to give two gifts. Anybody who expects 2 gifts is just grabby.

no, sod that!

am curious as to what the purpose of the baby shower was if she still has to wait for her "main" gifts from everyone

What Mrs Badger said

Yes it's all a bit strange!

I have not been to a baby shower before so I didn't really know what to expect!

She opened all the gifts in front of us and their "little somethings" ranged from 3 piece next ensembles, to cuddly toys, to pedicure vouchers....

All very odd.

Will stick to my plan of just giving another card and hope they will be too tired to fin toothcomb all the gifts after she's born!

fine

Whatever happened to giving the new parents a card on the safe arrival of the baby and a gift for the baby.

I'm not sure how Baby Showers work here but where I am from you give the main present at the shower. No reason you should give two gifts

I can see that Paula but I suspect UK people unfamiliar with them may see them as tempting fate by giving baby gifts before the baby is safely here - hence the double-gifting dilemma...

YABU to go to a baby shower. All showers, baby, bridal etc are just grabby grabby IMO.

YANBU to be pissed off at all the faffing about.

giving one gift is more than enough, considering you'll probably be giving the child gifts on each birthday anyway!

£40 is ALOT to spend on someone's new baby. I usually spend £10 max.

agree with PP, showers are grabby. if gifts are given more informally, where there's no pressure from any friend or relatives then fair enough, but to broadcast it that you want this that and the next thing for your new baby - grabby

One is plenty unless you really want to do something. Personally if you had done that for me I would have been delighted. Lets face it we all know how generous people are when you have a baby, perhaps they won't even notice anyway! But YANBU

Its not meant to be grabby. In the States (where all this originates) people don't visit a new mother unless you are a parent, sister, extremley close friend. People want to give a gift but they may not see the baby for the first month or so when the gift may not be as useful.

Just to point out there was no gift list or anything!

I have never even known anyone to have a babyshower. I also think £40 is plenty, I wouldn't have spent that much and I definitely wouldn't be buying something else after the baby is born.

I had a babyshower - actually 4 close friends took me to a posh hotel for a lovely tea and did give me a few gifts .2 gave me something when dd was born but they had wanted to wait until after to get something more specific. Frankly was so touched they had all taken time off work to come that I can't even think of what the gifts were, the tea however will remain with me for the rest of my life and was a lovely touching way to have a "last girls night out" before the baby.

my friend had one. didn't know what i was supposed to do really. got her a gift from her baby shower gift list. these were all very functional items, mine was cellular blankets. then when baby was born i went round with card and a little cardi for the baby. my choice.

Baby showers, bridal showers, all yuk in my book.

Agree - can we all just not do the whole American baby shower thing. Have a last night out is good, but not the presents in advance of the baby, the melted chocolate/poo games etc etc.

good grief, a LIST for a baby ?? I had my first dd 13 years ago, no such thing as baby showers where I was then, as far as I recall, tho do remember seeing them on American films where the hostess had an upturned umbrella to put presents in (do people still do this?) Went to my first baby shower the other day and took the present I would normally give when the baby was born. Did not feel the new mother was being grabby at all, she was thrilled with everything, but if there had been a list I would have been v surprised. Give a present, once, I would say. and £40 sounds huge!

Have never seen umbrella thing. Not all baby showers have creepy games either. A lot of them are just afternoon tea with gifts.

Afternoon tea, or relaxed dinner with mates is perfect before a 1st baby. Most of my friends have done this and no one has suggested a present, some people have bought things if they want but usually really small gathering of people and NO list. Although my american mate got everything for her child up until 1 at her shower in the US.