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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to bathe DS every day?

51 replies

picc · 09/01/2010 16:42

Just that really. Everyone else I know with DCs of similar age seems to give them a bath every night as part of their "bedtime routine".

I don't. He's 11 months old, and I bathe him maybe every 3 days?

I do wash him! Hands and face after meals (and before bed), anything else that's dirty at other times.

First baby, so no experience to draw on here... Just wondered what other people did/do.

OP posts:
carrieboo75 · 09/01/2010 22:36

My ds's are 8,6 and 4 and two out of my three have eczema so I only bath them once a week. If they ask to go in more then they have what they call a play bath which is only a bit of water in and no washing/soap involved at all.

When ds's was tiny he was so cubby he needed his creases (chin, underarms etc) washing 3 times a day or they got red raw, move forward 6 months and ds1 and ds2 had eczema and then I had to have a rule that they were not to be bathed 2 days in a row even if they really needed it as it made them so sore, it drove me potty that my MIL would completely ignore this and then and then act completely suprised when I had to strip them off cream them and give them calpol as they were crying in pain.

You have to do what is right for your family and that can mean one extreame or the other!

Herecomesthesciencebint · 09/01/2010 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pooexplosions · 09/01/2010 22:58

I just send them outside when it rains.

bluesheep · 10/01/2010 00:02

LOL pooexplosions!

My DDs get bathed twice a week, but sometimes more if they do those lovely shit-up-the-back-of-the-vest-right-up-to-the-hairline ones.

FordCapri · 10/01/2010 00:22

I have been bathing my two (3 and 1) every day but TBH I don't know why I've been knocking myself out to do it. They don't need it really, wet wipes or a wash in the bathroom of the necessary areas does the job day to day.
Bathing doesn't seem to help them relax any better (if anything the opposite) and my eldest has quite dry, scaley skin.
Going to drop it to 3/4 times a week max.

FordCapri · 10/01/2010 00:23

If we skipped the bath we'd have more time to spend over dinner which would be time better spent with a very faddy, fickle toddler.

kellze · 10/01/2010 00:31

LOL pooexplosions and bluesheep.

My Ds is 11 years old and showers/baths when i can force him to do it.

applepudding · 10/01/2010 00:32

I started off giving DS a bath as part of the daily bed time routine - as all the books tell you to do this. However I had to stop when I went back to work as I didn't always have time, and It was more important to get him fed and into bed if it was getting late.

He's now a lively 8 year old and still doesn't bath every day - sorry if that seems dirty but I really don't think he needs it. I normally shower each morning - but when I was growing up it was the norm to bath just once a week!

Original poster
picc · 10/01/2010 05:14

Thanks everyone. Really interesting.

Yep, was thinking that actually, applepudding. When I was little, it really would've been unusual for us to have a bath every day, because most people would have to heat a tank up first. Also, there were 5 of us in my family! So if I had a bath once a week, that was saying something.

Also agree with the time thing. Seriously, how do people find the energy/time? Now I'm back at work, I don't think I could. I know it's lovely time spent with DCs, but so is singing songs/reading stories/having a meal together. I guess you just choose the things that work for you, and for some people that's a bath.

Herecomesthesciencebint, that does make sense. However, the worst of his eczema is on his head, so I think in my case, the most important thing is to keep that clean (and his hands).

I wonder when it became the 'done thing' to have a bath every day. Because I really got odd/disapproving looks when I stupidly mentioned I wasn't doing it daily in the first few months of his life!

OP posts:
BaconWheatCrunchies · 10/01/2010 05:42

I find it's somewhere to keep them contained before bed, but when they were very tiny it was only when I could be bothered.

StarExpat · 10/01/2010 06:11

I think it's about preference and what skin is like as well.. I bathe 15 mo old ds every day and he has soft skin and hair. Like mummalish I do it because I like a shower every day, too. Nothing wrong with however often, though.

Mandy1966 · 10/01/2010 12:09

As with kellze,
11 yr old when I tell him he starting to 'niff' a bit..lol
and 8 yr old once a week, the day before school swimmming lesson, he has eczema, drys out his skin too much otherwise imo.

Although I do know child who baths every morning before school!

mrmellors · 10/01/2010 12:23

Ds3 had truly appalling eczema - GP said only bathe once a week. We finally saw an amazing consultant who said he could be bathed every day if that was what we wanted, as long as we used the various emollients, steroids etc he needed, both in the bath water and afterwards. If we didn't want to bathe him, the emollients would work just as well to clean his skin.

So definitely a matter of personal preference, not a necessity. Incidentally, Ds3 has gone from weeping, bleeding sores all over his body to having almost flawless skin in a matter of weeks, so I think this guy knows his stuff!

Friend of mine with bad adult eczema only uses aqueous cream to wash her face and hands and has a daily wash of other parts, never a shower or bath. Never noticed her smelling!

juicychops · 10/01/2010 12:25

i only bath ds(4) twice a week. my house is so cold as there isn't heating and the bathroom in an extention on the back so the coldest room in the house. its just too cold to give him baths often so its sunday night and mid week.

i do however suffer the cold myself to have a bath most nights!

caen · 10/01/2010 12:38

YANBU. I bath DD (9 months) every day but only because I'm too terrified not to in case it messes up the routine. It also calms her down and she's happy in there for the last 30 mins or so of the day. I know I'm being excessive and it's completely necessary. I'm sure once a week would do it tbh. Someone please help me to stop - but what else do you do with a grumpy baby at the end of the day?

monkeyfeathers · 10/01/2010 12:52

I bath DS2 twice a day (not joking) because it's his favourite thing to do in the world. No matter how grumpy he is, he's happy as soon as you take his clothes off and he hears the bath running. We use a baby bath and not much water (but with some oil in it). He totally loves it. To be honest, it breaks up the day for us and the baby oil keeps his skin all nice and soft. His head, in particular, goes all flaky and yucky if he's not bathed very regularly. We didn't bath him much in the first few weeks and his skin really improved when we started doing it.

DS1 had eczema as a baby and got bathed a lot. It was easier using the emollients in the water and it also kept him happy. Bathing him less didn't seem to improve his skin, so I just went back to what made him happy. He still has a shower every day and we have to enforce a strict time limit otherwise he'll stay in there for hours and use all the hot water.

It seems I just have children who love the water.

MarthaFarquhar · 10/01/2010 13:10

YANBU.
I do bathe mine daily, because she thinks it's fun and gets grumpy if I don't. Fills up a bit of time on a miserable afternoon as well. But very little actual washing ever takes place in said baths.

BonjourIvressedeNoel · 10/01/2010 13:18

I bathed dd every day, she got terrible excema. I bathe DS ( 9 months) every 3 or 4 days, and he has lovely soft skin. I give him an all over wash with a flannel twie a day and a face and neck and had wash wth a flannel after eating.

Original poster
picc · 10/01/2010 13:24

Gosh! Why didn't I ask this question, like, 10 months ago? I thought I was the only one!

It's all a big learning curve, isn't it? Guess it just shows that everyone is different, and you should have confidence in your own instincts and styles.

Can totally appreciate the bathing as a calming and/or fun activity, too. And anything that calms a grumpy baby is brill!

OP posts:
wollysocks · 10/01/2010 13:28

my dd is 2 and a half and asks for a bath. Generally I do every night in the mistaken belief it helps bedtime routine or convinced myself of it.

She enjoys it because I make it fun. Was using sponge to wash but changed to to "Tigger" flannel and she loves it. Also pouring showel gel onto flannel, nearly the whole bottle. She loves jumping in the bath and i bought her Little People boat for christmas. So it is a big thing for her bath.

carrieboo75 · 10/01/2010 15:39

When mine were little (eldest now 8) the advice was still to bath every day and use the creams etc and I don't think it has ever changed over the years. However I couldn't help thinking it would be better if their skin could do it's own work and use it's own oils rather than relying on all the creams. I knew that water was drying so I experimented by cutting back the bathing to once a week and it worked wounders so now I only have to use the creams when it gets really cold and the weather and the heating cause their skin to dry out again.

It is worth playing about with the number of times to find what is optimal for your children.

thisxgirl · 10/01/2010 18:59

OP, I could've written this thread myself some weeks ago.

I'd had it instilled in me from MIL that a bath is an integral part of the bedtime routine and holds some assurance of a better night's sleep because it's so relaxing for babies. I'm also pretty clean myself and wouldn't dream of going without a daily shower or bath - I got this habit from my mother. I bathed DS every day, even when he was barely dirty, even when I was so so tired or it was majorly inconvenient in some way.

Then I read a thread on here and ralised that many mothers don't bathe their babies every night, especially not at this stage (6 months) and even more especially so when a second child comes along and there just aren't enough hours in the evening. It seemed actually unusual to bathe every day. I mentioned this to a friend and MIL who both screwed up their faces and said "they'd never heard of that," so now I keep it a secret that I bathe him about 5 nights a week. Might give it a miss tonight actually! I reckon they'd think I was a lazy arse if I admitted to two days off. Even though everything gets wiped and changed regularly anyway. Think of the water wastage!

Squitten · 10/01/2010 19:26

We bathe DS once a week. He's so grubby I keep thinking I should do it during the week at least once but I can't honestly be bothered! He has excema on his ankle and me and DH both suffer from skin complaints so we don't want to dry out his skin.

Baby wipes are the miracle product in this house!

looneytune · 11/01/2010 19:13

Ds1 (nearly 7) and ds2 (18m) get bathed twice a week, sometimes just the once. We have a set bedtime routine but never needed the bath for it luckily. Ds1 used to get sore patches of dry skin and after trying all sorts of creams etc, found less baths worked best for us. At some point ds1 will start to get smelly and I'll need to rethink this but for now, this works best for us

MrsMattie · 11/01/2010 19:18

My two get bathed 3-4 times a week, hair washed once a week at the moment.

A bath isn't part of our bedtime routine - stopped doing that when my first child was a baby and I realised it was so much less knackering all round just to clean teeth, read a story and say night night!