To not want to put DS2 in new clothes?

[angel1976]

I genuinely have a dilemma... Not sure where to put it so have decided to put it here. Come and talk to me as I don't really know if I do have a problem or not!

Christmas came and went and as expected, we have ended up with tons of new clothes and toys for both DS1 and DS2 from the ILs. DS2 was only born in November and DS1 is not quite yet 2 so as you can imagine, we are literally swimming in a mountain of new clothes. Some of which are useful such as seasonal stuff like snowsuit in a size that we didn't have for DS1 due to him being born at a different time of the year but most of them are just excess to our needs.

I genuinely have no idea what to do with them. DS2 is now 9 weeks old and has so far worn mostly hand-me-downs from DS1, some of which are so new (as you can imagine, they don't get that much wear out of them at that age!), they look brand-new. Also, friends have passed on stuff and I've already freecycled a lot of the stuff I've sorted through.

I have no problems passing on stuff that DS2 has outgrown (this is our last, no more!) but the new stuff... For example, DS2 was given a beautiful set of six 0-3 months sleepsuits with applique designs and all. He's already 9 weeks old and I feel that if I took them out to wear, he will literally be in them for a few times each before he outgrows them. But if I don't, I have a set of unworn sleepsuits. A part of me thinks that as he is my last child, I should just 'dress' him up and enjoy it but it's not as if we are going anywhere fancy... Another part of me thinks 'oh the waste!'

And don't get me started on the soft toys... Why on earth do people think soft toys are great presents for newborns? So should I just be appreciative or am I being a spoilsport by complaining about this?

Did you leave the tags on? If so most shops will exchange, you could get a whole range of ages of clothes!

Agree re soft toys I'd happily burn every single one in our houes if I could,my mother always buys them a teddy argh

keep some back and sell on ebay you can then use money for something you need fir them.... or like I,ve done, take to shop and exchange for larger size as needed, we have a 6 week dd and like you have so mich stuff, mainly 0-3 months! Next and debenhams have let me exchange without receipts with no hassle!

Do you know where they are from? Can you take them back and exchange them for something in another size?

Failing that, keep them and give them as gifts for friends with new babies.

I agree that hand me downs are fine for such a tiny baby. DS2 had 2 or 3 outfits that were new and special but the rest were DS1s things.

As for soft toys - on the one had I agree but I do think they come into their own at various times. DS1 is nearly 4 and has been through about 2 stages where he was really into playing with soft toys - and you never know which one they will take a liking to. I did consolidate them though and get rid of a few.

Take them back and swap them for clothes that fit your older child - you'll get double wear out of them then

All the extra things I had after DS and DD I sold on Ebay. Have you any friends who are expecting? Perhaps you could recycle the tagged clothes and give them as gifts.

I think there are some stuff with tags on... I have TWO big bags of clothes that I am going to attempt to exchange but it's finding the time to do it as well with a baby and toddler. What's frustrating as well is that my MIL starts shopping for Christmas in January, which means she buys DS1 18-24 months clothes when DS1 is already 22 months old by the time he gets the clothes and won't be able to wear any of the clothes. And I really need 2-3 clothes for him too. Argh! And the soft toys, I literally open the wardrobe and they all fall on me! But if I let the kids have them, all they do with them is scatter them through the house... So I am not weird for not 'dressing up' DS2 preferring him to stay in comfy hand-me-downs?

i would prob just dress him up in them a few times if it would be effort to go and change for a bigger size, also i dont like that often when you go to change for bigger sizes they dont have it so have to buy a different clothes than what you were given as a present, as i feel "rude" then (whereas same outfit but bigger size wouldnt seem like that iyswim), if they dont fit into clothes more than 1 or 2 times i just take pics of them in it anyway.
nothing wrong with re using from older child but i would do a combination of that and the new stuff, and if you have stuff barely used left over either save it for next one or pass to someone else?
def not something to be annoyed about or worry about really, you're lucky to have too much stuff rather than too little at least

Keep a few nice bits you will use and return the rest to get a refund and put the money in his bank account.

You're not weird, I save clothes to regift if I can't exchange as it's a waste not to. I like dd2 wearing dd1s old clothes, I like seeing them again. I felt it was pointless having new things for dd1 too as she had hand me downs from cousin. I don't mind the soft toys so much as I know they get played with later on - and dressed up in hand me down clothes!
It's hard trying to stop mil from buying things as she just can't stop herself, the only way I can stop myself from being annoyed at the waste is by regifting/exchanging.

God I could have written this post!!

I sympathise. I would casually drop into conversation that DS1 is "X" size and DS2 is already "XX" size, that should ensure she buys the right sizes.

BTW I did go onto have a third after my 2 DS's - last one was a girl - so I still have the same problem plus all the girl's clothes/toys/kitchens/dolls etc etc...

Any chance you can talk to your inlaws about it? Otherwise this is going to go on and on and you'll end up more and more resentful that they are buying clothes that are going to be wasted when they could at least be buying stuff that could be worn? And then resentful of the fact that you are feeling resentful about presents IYSWIM!

What would your MIL say if you said to her straight out that xxx doesn't fit ds1/2 and you love it so you want to change it for a bigger size? Particularly effective for DS2 I guess if you reckon he is your last as at least with DS1 she will think you can just keep for DS2.

OR saying to her up front that you have more than enough clothes of the current size so not to buy any more, you're now moving on to getting xx size for yy season (OK so not much good for dealing with the bag that you've got already!). And pointing out that (if it's the case) your children are big/small for their size and changing all the time so if she sees something she likes it would be worth checking with you first to see what the best size would be!

Thanks all for your comments. I know I should be grateful and I am!

Firawla - I know what you are saying, MIL does buy nice stuff for the boys. Not completely to my taste but I would so like them to wear the clothes to 'show' their appreciation.

I do drop in conversation that DS1 will need 2-3 next and I tested the 'waters' by asking MIL if she wouldn't mind changing one of the tops (18-24) for another (2-3) and she said 'oh, what size did I buy?' So I genuinely think she has no idea what size she is buying as like I said, she buys them through the year! I would also feel bad if I gave her 2 bags of clothes and say 'Can you exchange them please?' She will be running all over the place!

Will try to be 'zen' about it and not worry about the waste... Thanks all, glad to hear I am not the only one with this problem.

My DD2 (aged 7 months) is rarely dressed, never mind 'dressed up'! She whiles away her time in hand-me-down babygros and I've yet to hear her complain about it.

Exchange anything that you can and 'regift' some of the other items. It sounds like it would be worth asking MIL to keep her eye out for aged 2-3/3-4 bargains in the sales so that "they'll be the right size for X come Christmas".

We've told family that DD2 really doesn't need any clothes aside from occasional seasonal items and even gone so far as to say that DD1's baby toys are in the loft awaiting such a time as DD2 is old enough to play with them so if they like they could rewrap the pressie they gave DD1 for her 1st/2nd birthday or else consider making a donation to a charity of their choosing in lieu of a present for DD2!

Soft toys... donate them to a school raffle/women's refuge/ask social services if they know of needy mums who'd appreciate a few teddies for their little ones?

I don't dress my baby up she is in comfy handmedowns too...

Can you ask your OH to have a word with his mum and maybe get her to have a bit of paper in her purse saying "AGE 2-3" so she doesn't go wonky. Don't know the relationships but my mum wouldn't be upset if I suggested that.

Other than that what otehrs have said, exchange, sell, give away etc etc

I think dressing babies up in posh babygros is lovely. I'm sticking with comfy babygros for DS2 who is 4 months, so I like having pretty ones rather than worn out ones from DS1.(Although all the ones I saved from DS1 turned yellow in the meantime, so your handmedowns are probably nicer!) So if the new babygros are comfy and practical as well as gorgeous, I say use them!

Oh, DH would rather endure bad presents for years to come than to say anything to his mum! I feel bad for them spending so much money and probably only a quarter or half of the gifts are needed or used...

I think I am going to break out one pack of those lovely babygros for DS2. DS2 is now in a really cute babygro that my dear friend from Oz sent me for DS1. The hand-me-downs from DS1 are usually lovely and DS1 barely got much wear out of them at this age as well. But I guess I better break the habit of a lifetime so DS2 gets a chance to wear his own clothes for a change!