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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Jumping on the wedding bandwagon ...

6 replies

JaneS · 08/01/2010 18:33

Ok, 'nother wedding one.

I'm getting married this summer. My lovely parents want to help out with money and planning, which is great. Unfortunately, they are a bit eccentric. Neither one of them really understands how to find a taxi rank, and catching a bus is a major undertaking (they don't use public transport much). My mum never learned to judge when she's hungry, so she'll go without eating properly until her blood sugar drops, at which point she will need food urgently, within 10-20 minutes, or she'll get furious and make a huge fuss.

The thing is, I would love to get them helping with the planning, but their suggestions tend towards the bizarre as they're used to the way they function. For example, they think that the evening do should end around 10pm so everyone gets home safely before it's too late, and they want to take me and my partner out for a breakfast in the morning so we don't get 'tired' during the ceremony. They're convinced that most people are just like them, and that I'm naive to think my guests might like to stay up until midnight/ chat for a little while before eating/ make their own way to the venue instead of getting driven their in shifts by my dad in his beat-up people carrier!

Am I being unreasonable to want to tell them that most people don't share their rather specific approach to life? And how can I control this so they don't feel they have to organize everything?

OP posts:
cookielove · 08/01/2010 18:38

Why don't you give them specific parts to organise, like the music, or helping with the flowers e.t.c

JaneS · 08/01/2010 21:01

Yeah ... I did try that! Not working really.

OP posts:
Boys2mam · 08/01/2010 21:11

Weddings are a bleeding nightmare aren't they.

I want to say contributing financially gives them no control over the arrangements but thats easier said than done when it comes to not wanting to offend.

If it were me, I would sit down and say I was extremely grateful for the financial contribution as it means you can make the day what you and DF dearly, then lay those ideas out. If they insist on changing things to such a degree then politely decline the money and pay yourselves for exactly what you would like.

Boys2mam · 08/01/2010 21:12

DF dearly want

JaneS · 08/01/2010 23:10

Thanks, Boys2mam. Thing is, it is going to be a very simple wedding - no fancy clothes, bridesmaids or anything. All that costs money dinner at a restaurant and the ingredients for the cake my mum will make. I don't need my parents to contribute financially, but they honestly think they're helping. I just don't know how to explain to them that they are a little unusual and most people won't even want the same things they do.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 08/01/2010 23:13

Its not about what your aprents want. Its not about what other people want either. You need to sit down and explain to them what you want. Its your day.

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