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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit PFB about my DS and his naps?

30 replies

Igglybuff · 08/01/2010 14:42

The inlaws are having their weekly visit to see 3 month DS. DS is asleep in his sling but hasn't been sleeping well lately so I'm currently hiding staying upstairs until he wakes up. I don't want to "risk" taking him down as the inlaws might wake him and as soon as his eyes open they'll be all over him wanting to play...

AIBU to keep DS out of the way?? He won't nap in a cot so I can't put him down. DH is entertaining them and they visit every week so it's not like they're missing much (they live nearby). I think I might be but DH doesnt think so and I'm not going to argue!

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 08/01/2010 14:49

IMO you are being a bit precious but as nobody seems to mind, why worry?!

I tried to get mine used to maximum amounts of noise so they'd sleep anywhere

DD1 used to nap whilst I hoovered around her. She is still a v heavy sleeper now though

Original poster
Igglybuff · 08/01/2010 14:54

notnow he usually sleeps quite well through noise but at the moment, no chance! Not sure what happened there.

OP posts:
stickylittlefingers · 08/01/2010 14:55

no, YANBU - it's not like they're over from the US or something! If you think your ds will be better for it, I reckon that's fine

monkeyfeathers · 08/01/2010 16:34

DS2 is a horrible napper. It's difficult to get him to sleep and then any tiny noise or movement seems to wake him. I get very precious about him not being disturbed once I've finally managed to get him to sleep. I've tried to desensitise him to noise while he sleeps but he seems to be getting worse rather than better.

On that basis, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. And your husband doesn't either, so go ahead and hide until you have a well-rested, happy baby for the in-laws to play with.

MaisieBean · 08/01/2010 17:38

YANBU - I am totally PFB about DS's naps purely because I know he is so much happier when he is well-slept and that makes me so much happier too...

WidowWadman · 08/01/2010 17:45

Oh, evil grandparents want to play with their grandchild, who gave them the risible idea that that would be appropriate?

What's the big problem if he wakes?

ImSoNotTelling · 08/01/2010 17:46

YANBU never wake a sleeping baby is my credo.

For me it's bedtime that is intractable. you will not find me out partying with the children past 6.30, except on xmas day

mummysgoingmad · 08/01/2010 17:49

could someone tell me what pfb means according to mums net it means precious first born, which makes no sense at all regarding this thread! sorry for my ignorance!

mummysgoingmad · 08/01/2010 17:50

could someone tell me what pfb means according to mums net it means precious first born, which makes no sense at all regarding this thread! sorry for my ignorance!

ImSoNotTelling · 08/01/2010 18:00

If you mean the thread title, being a "bit PFB" means fussing over your first child in a way that people don't tend to for their subsequent children. Reading all the books, obsessing over nappy contents, enrolling them in all the baby classes etc etc.

OP is wondering if she is being a bit precious not wanting to risk waking DS to show to inlaws, consensus is she is being perfectly sensible!

HTH

violethill · 08/01/2010 18:04

I think it's a little strange to hide upstairs. Why not go down and just show them that the baby is asleep and tell them you'd prefer he stayed that way?

If going downstairs and sitting and chatting is going to wake up a 3 month old, then you're storing up masses of future trouble for yourself! It's a bit ridiculous to feel you need to hide away

verytellytubby · 08/01/2010 18:44

I don't understand why you are hiding away. Why would it disturb him if you go downstairs? I used to hoover, have the radio/TV on full blast while they napped and I've got DC that would sleep through a nuclear explosion.

Original poster
Igglybuff · 08/01/2010 19:11

Well DS has not been napping well lately - making him overtired. He used to withstand noise when asleep but now - you can't move a muscle when he naps. Bloody annoying. Excited grandparents play with overtired baby = nightmare for us later!

I did feel guilty hiding upstairs and thought about coming down. I have done before and he's been woken by overexcited grandparents practically screaming his name whenever he moved (I may exaggerate...)

this was a bit of a one off - he hasn't slept that long in ages so glad I gave him the chance. But I did feel a bit PFB - if he wakes, he can sleep later... Although I've adopted that approach before and he just gets grumpy.

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 08/01/2010 19:34

verytellytubby maybe yout children slept well which is why you were able to hoover etc, not vice versa.

They are all different. My DD1 slept like a dream, DD2 is an entirely different kettle of fish. People should do whatever they need to do (within reason) to make their lives as easy as poss IMO.

Original poster
Igglybuff · 08/01/2010 19:39

Imsonottelling - I am quite anal about naps now after a hellish first two months where we let DS get overtired and a few nights he stayed awake until 5am/7am! I sometimes wish I could relax more and go with the flow but I think back and just can't face that again!

OP posts:
mrsjuan · 08/01/2010 19:42

I know what you mean - as much as they mean well, my in laws can't help 'hellooooing' to DD when she is asleep in my arms!

Funnily enough some relatives have just texted to say they are popping round and I commented to husband that it's a shame they've never seen DD awake - to which he replied in all seriousness - 'shall we go and get her up then?'

nickytwotimes · 08/01/2010 19:44

Yanbu at all.

Having to deal with an over tired baby is horrid. Let 'em nap and enjoy the time.

monkeyfeathers · 08/01/2010 19:47

DS1 was not a great napper (although he was miles better than DS2). He slept fine at night though (DS2 sleeps OK at night, but not as well as DS1).

Now DS1 will sleep through anything and everything (he's 9). I'm hoping DS2 will turn out the same, eventually.

Until that point I'll continue to be all precious about his napping. He really is a nightmare when he's tired but he'll always really fights going to sleep in the daytime.

pointydig · 08/01/2010 19:51

So what are you doing? Sitting very very still with your baby asleep in a sling which is attached to you?

I am trying to picture this

madamearcati · 08/01/2010 19:52

I thought the whole point of slings was that you do move about while the baby sleeps.

ImSoNotTelling · 08/01/2010 19:53

Up til 5/7am

Now that is bad...

I am going to try and get DD2s sleeping on track a bit, she is just getting the hang of naps now (it took 5 months) and is happy going down in her cot, she's still waking a lot at night though.

It's one thing at a time isn't it!

Original poster
Igglybuff · 08/01/2010 19:53

pointy - no I was walking between bedrooms upstairs with the windows open so DS thought we were still outside (so many times he's woken as soon as we step in the front door). I was desperate for him to sleep and not so desperate to go downstairs only for him to be woken up by excited squealing......

OP posts:
Original poster
Igglybuff · 08/01/2010 19:56

mrsjuan - what is your DH thinking???

Yes Imsonottelling - we were broken after those nights...! DS was like a zombie - glazed eyes, limp arms yet refusing to sleep!! He didnt even cry much which was weird.

OP posts:
pointydig · 08/01/2010 20:00

ok. So you have to walk about with your baby in the sling.

I think you are setting yourself a hard-to-maintain routine which will appear slightly ridiculous to others, but you are the one who has to make life with a baby bearable for yourself, so you are excused

Wigglesworth · 08/01/2010 20:02

YANBU, my DS was a miserable little sod if he got over tired at that age. I am very PFBish with him but I don't give a monkeys, I am the one who had to try and console him when he was screaming his little tezzers off.