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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to share my car?

19 replies

juneybean · 08/01/2010 12:12

My brothers car is a bit poorly, the exhaust has gone, it's still driveable but to fix it would cost more than he paid for it.

He's now suggested we both use my car (which he pays for because he borrowed shit loads of money when we were younger)

I'm not sure I'm fine with this because I don't want to be stuck in the house on my day off.

Today he says he's at work at 10pm and yet he's gone out in my car and I'm stuck in the house even though I told him I wanted to go out today.

There are deeper issues in that he's so fucking incompetant with money, he earns double what I do and yet I have more money.

FFS

OP posts:
Original poster
juneybean · 08/01/2010 12:12

P.S. We live together which is why he has access to my car keys.

OP posts:
bluesheep · 08/01/2010 12:24

You need to be very clear with your brother that if he is going to borrow your car then it has to be when it convenient to you. Whether or not he pays for it isn't the issue if the car is in your name. You are doing him a favour, so don't let him take the piss.

Oh, and keep your car keys on you so he has to ask for them, then you can say no if you need the car.

TootaLaFruit · 08/01/2010 12:25

It's not fair for him to be putting you out. He's making HIS problem into yours. Next time you see him explain that you don't mind helping him out in extreme situations (like if he needs to get to work) but he can't just take your car whenever he wants, as you need it. His exhaust problem isn't going to change - they're not going to get cheaper, so he's going to have to face facts that he either needs to pay up or get a new car. You are adults now, just because he's your brother doesn't mean you have to 'share' like when you were kids. And as I said before, this is HIS problem, not yours.

Haggisfish · 08/01/2010 12:26

Yep, i agree. Why can't he hire a car - you can get quite good deals, particularly from Enterprise.

coppertop · 08/01/2010 12:44

Under those circumstances I wouldn't share with him at all. You're doing him a favour and in return he's blatantly taking the p*ss.

Instead of looking at the cost of repair in relation to the value of the car, perhaps he should be comparing the cost of repair with the cost of paying for the taxis or other public transport he will need to get to and from work.

olderandwider · 08/01/2010 13:05

Is there a car club near you? They offer a kind of car-when-you-want-it service, on a pay as you go basis. Your DB may find it ideal if he only needs the car for short journeys (I think the AA says Car Clubs are cost effective if you drive fewer than 6,000 miles a year, but i may be misquoting!).

You pay a joining fee (not much I think)then only pay for the miles you drive. I live in London and there are loads of Car Club cars and special parking bays around. Other cities have clubs too,and some more rural areas. Just google car club and your area and see what you get.

Otherwise, yes, hide your keys!

DuelingFanjo · 08/01/2010 13:09

if he's paying for it doesn't that kind of make it his car?

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 08/01/2010 13:11

If he owes you money that doesn't make it his car, you just happen to be paying for the car with money he is paying you back.

olderandwider · 08/01/2010 13:13

OP said " He's now suggested we both use my car (which he pays for because he borrowed shit loads of money when we were younger)" so I assume he owes her money and is paying for car to pay her back, so tis her car. I think...

olderandwider · 08/01/2010 13:13

sorry cross posted

JaneS · 08/01/2010 13:29

Can you allow him to borrow it on a one-off basis? Ie., he has to ask you each time he wants it? Or put a firm limit on how long he'll be borrowing it before he finds an alternative?

maristella · 08/01/2010 15:06

oooh no - i wouldn't share my car with anyone!
what if he ragged it?
what is suddenly you needed repairs doing?
the fact is that you don't want to, so don't.
just tell him that the thought of not having your car at your disposal at all times makes you feel stressed.

cleanandclothed · 08/01/2010 15:09

Is he insured to drive it?

Ivykaty44 · 08/01/2010 15:11

No, who actually pays for repairs, tax, insurance, MOT

No sharing comes with costs, when he gets back today explain that if he is going to use the car itis £5 per time and he needs to book it with 24 hours notice - sharing comes along with sharing the cost.

Take all the car keys and hide them down your bra or pants

I share my car but, but I then get free petrol for the 6 months that I share my car, and we dont live in the same house

Heqet · 08/01/2010 15:14

If you don't want him to use it, say no and keep your car keys on your person at all times. If he mentions that he's paying for it, remind him he is actually repaying a debt to you, not paying for your car.

Do you think he feels more entitled because you live together? - is that share a house or both live with your parents btw?

bruceb · 08/01/2010 15:17

Err YANBU.

  1. it's your car and the fact that he's repaying you with payments that you are putting to the car is irrelevant.

  2. if he is not on your insurance and he doesn't have his own then you are BOTH liable to 6 points and a nasty fine - him for driving it and you for letting him.

  3. tell him to sort his car out and stop dicking about with yours.

bruceb · 08/01/2010 15:18

corection - I think it's 'up to 9 points'.....tho my memory is rubbish at times.

bruceb · 08/01/2010 15:19

Err YANBU.

  1. it's your car and the fact that he's repaying you with payments that you are putting to the car is irrelevant.

  2. if he is not on your insurance and he doesn't have his own then you are BOTH liable to 6 points and a nasty fine - him for driving it and you for letting him.

  3. tell him to sort his car out and stop dicking about with yours.

Original poster
juneybean · 08/01/2010 16:10

Hi sorry he did come back so I did go out to the shops!

Yeah he is insured on it just as it was cheaper for me insurance wise to have someone else on it.

Thanks for all your replies, I am going to keep the keys on me so he has to ask.

It is me that pays insurance, mot, service, tax etc.

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