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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is cute?

23 replies

ButterPie · 08/01/2010 12:05

I have 2 DDs, DD1 is 2.9 yo and DD2 is 7wks and breastfed. DD1 is fascinated by "boobymilk" and will come and peer at her baby sister feeding, pretends to feed her dolls (and toy cars ) and so on.

Anyway, a couple of times we have found a breast pad down her vest when undressing her, which she says is for catching the booby milk if it leaks out. I just smile and say that she doesn't need to worry about that as she won't make milk until she is a big lady and has little babies of her own.

I thought this was a lovely cute story and told my ILs, who seemed to think it odd.

DD1 doesn't remember me feeding her, as I had to stop at 4 months, so I think it a good thing that she sees breasts as for feeding babies. She has had a taste of a bottle of ebm, which she didn't like, but my sister seemed to think that odd as well, surely she is still of an age where I could still be bf her, so tasting some of the milk is perfectly normal?

How do everyone elses toddlers behave about bfing?

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 08/01/2010 12:07

not odd at all! dd is 3.7, ds is 7 weeks. dd loves to 'pump' (though obviously she has nothing at all for the pump to pump on! what would your ILs say about that?!

mrsjuan · 08/01/2010 12:07

I think it's very cute, brilliant that she's getting a good understanding about how to feed babies and not odd at all

violethill · 08/01/2010 12:09

I personally wouldn't give a bottle of anything to an almost 3 year old. They should be drinking from a cup by then, apart from if they still have a bf now and then.

Original poster

ButterPie · 08/01/2010 12:12

I didn't give her a bottle, she just grabbed a bottle I had made for DD2 and had the last couple of sips from it.

OP posts:

kneedeepinthedirtylaundry · 08/01/2010 12:12

I think it's all part of your DD learning that she's a girl and she's going to grow into a woman. If I had a dd, I'd prefer that than wanting to put on make up at that age!

Violethill, why "should"? According to???

GingerbreadFolk · 08/01/2010 12:13

violethill, I think you're spectacularly missing the point. I don't see how a taste of ebm from a bottle implies bottle feeding anyway...

It's lovely OP. And normal. Aping the biological use of breasts. It's no different to pretending to drive a car.

bluesheep · 08/01/2010 12:13

Not odd at all! My DD1 is a little bit young to understand me breastfeeding her little sister, but when we go round to my best friend's house her DS (who's 2.8) is fascinated by breastfeeding. I'll never forget his reaction when he first saw me do it:

"What are you doing auntie bluesheep?"

"Feeding DD2 some milk."

"With your BOOBIE?"

"Yes love."

"Wow. I'm going to watch."

So he climbed onto my lap and watched from a distance of about 2 inches. My best friend thought it was hilarious!

Tommy · 08/01/2010 12:13

Think it sounds great! Very normal

Original poster

ButterPie · 08/01/2010 12:14

I would probably draw the line at actually letting DD1 bf, just because she has probably forgotten how to do it by now and would probably bite!

OP posts:

GingerbreadFolk · 08/01/2010 12:14

X-posts op.

And yes, why would it matter if she was drinking from a bottle. Unless it was your bottle. Of gin. And you wanted it back.

mum2all · 08/01/2010 12:14

My friends little girl was about 2 when I had DD and was also fascinated by bf as she had no experience of it - her and all her cousins were bottle fed. My friend was more worried how I would feel with her peering down at DD (and my nipple) and was actually quite pleased to be able to talk to her about it. She also used to feed her dolls in the same way and imitated what I did - its their way of learning about the world. Whats weird about that? ILS!
I personally think we should be more open and honest with children about things like this (obviously on a level they can understand.) Perhaps if it was more 'normal' for children to see bf then bf rates would be higher and it wouldn't be such a freakfest if you feed in public. My DD stopped bf at 13months(she's now 3) but knows that before she got 'big girl milk' she got milk from mummy's boob and that some of her friends siblings are fed this way.

Original poster

ButterPie · 08/01/2010 12:16

DD1 will quite happily tell me that she loves my boobies, and when she was a baby she drank ALL the milk and it tasted of bananas...

OP posts:

violethill · 08/01/2010 12:17

My understanding is that bottles are not advisable beyond a certain age because of jaw/teeth development. That was the reason for my comment. Not missing the point at all! When my children were almost 3, they drank from cups apart from bf.

The OP has now clarified that she didn't give a bottle to her toddler, the toddler grabbed the baby's bottle.

ginnybag · 08/01/2010 12:18

I would think it perfectly normal. She's reacting to changes in her major female role model - you, her mother - by emulating your actions. Sounds pretty standard, healthy toddler behaviour to me.

What would your relatives prefer you do? You've explained it won't apply to her 'till she's an adult, which I would have thought is all that's needed. Perhaps add in a word about it being something not to do in public , if you care about such things yourself, otherwise let it be. She's a little girl, trying to be a 'big girl'. It's not really any different to her trying on your high heels or playing with your make-up, is it?

She'll get bored in her own time, I think her reaction natural in the first place (and far preferable for her to copy your interactions with your newborn than get jealous over it!) and it's hardly harmful for her to learn what breasts are really for now, before she's exposed to all their other associations!

As for her tasting the milk, why not? She was curious, now she's not. Again, why is it any different from her wating to try your meals at a restaurant. It's hardly harmful to her, is it?

I'd carry on as is, or literally risk making a mountain out of not even a molehill!

fillybuster · 08/01/2010 12:23

YANBU. FWIW, my ds (then 2.5) spent an awful lot of time 'breast-feeding' his toy rabbit when dd was born 2 years ago. I thought it was lovely, even though we did explain to him that boys can't actually breast feed. He was insistent that boys could feed their toy rabbits, even if they couldn't do real babies.

And he was very good at getting it to burp, too

Don't worry, its lovely and I'm glad that ds and dd will get (hopefully) to see me bf-ing #3 when it arrives in June

thedollshouse · 08/01/2010 12:23

I don't think it is odd at all. Ds was ff from early on as he never took to bf. I am pregnant now and we often talk about what it will be like when the baby is born. Ds knows that it is normal to bf and he is also aware that he was ff. He was talking the other day and he said that the baby in mummys tummy will have milk from mummy boobs but he had milk from a bottle because he didn't want to suck. Dh thought it odd that we had discussed this, I have no idea why.

tulpe · 08/01/2010 12:32

YANBU.

Perfectly normal, imo. DS1 was 4 when I had DS2. He would sit next to me on the sofa "BFing" his teddy whilst I fed DS2 . My DS2 (now 5) still asks me about boobies and milk. He gets confused as to why I would still have boobies if I am not BFing anyone

Indith · 08/01/2010 12:54

Ds was 2 when dd was born. He tried to bf but couldn't work out how/was a bit shy of doing it so he settled for snaffling all the expressed milk he could as soon as my back was turned, demanding mummy milk instead of milk milk, trying to express from my other breast when dd was feeding and holding his cup out to catch drips when dd pulled off I thought it was lovely and is all perfectly normal

blondiep14 · 08/01/2010 12:56

I think it's really sweet. I am due with DC2 any day and wonder what DS (23months) is going to think/say about me BFing this one. I BF him until he was 10months but I don't think he'll remember!
He is quite fascinated by boobies on me and Dadda but I do worry he doesn't know enough vocab to ask what is on his mind when newbie arrives . Am just going to have to try to remember to explain everything I/we do with baby I guess.

Sassybeast · 08/01/2010 13:02

YANBU at all - it's dead cute - ignore the ILs Mine used the feeding bottles from baby doll sets as 'medicine' cos milk comes from boobies not bottles and they've all had a go at BF their 'babies'. Only by emphasising how normal and natural BF is will we start to lose the 'ewww' and 'shudder' reactions that some people get when confronted with a boob doing what it was intended for. If i was you, I'd be encouraging DD to BF her dolly in front of the IL's - that should shut them up

Rosebud05 · 08/01/2010 13:06

Of course it's cute! My 2 year old dd has spent many a happy hour bfing her dolls, teddies and little brother since he arrived and has also had a go with my pump and breast pads.

Stigaloid · 08/01/2010 13:09

My son is fascinated by me breastfeeding my 10 day old. When he sees me expressing he comes over and demands to take over the pump and helps (for all of 3 seconds before he gets bored!) It is cute and perfectly normal and kids shouldn't be shielded from nature.

BouncingTurtle · 08/01/2010 13:24

Very cute

My cousin's little boy (who was 5 at the time) was absolutely transfixed by me feeding DS when I went to Spain to visit my dad, he was sat next to me watching very carefully.

And oneof my little nieces, who was breastfed until she was nearly three, always tells everyone that "I had milk from my mummy's boobies and now my brother drinks milk from my mummy's boobies!" Apparently she offered DSIL to bf her little brother

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