To not want to have to spend vast amounts of time organising a birthday party for a 2-year-old when I know she'd be perfectly happy at soft play?

[TheBossofMe]

DD will be 2 at the end of Feb. She'll be having a small family party (just cake, balloons etc at home with close family), but also will have a birthady party shared with 4 other kids (kids from my antenatal group). All of them love soft play (I know, shudder!), local centre does kids parties with cake, party bags etc, but one of the Mums and all of our DHs think we should do something more special (which I roughly translate as less tacky!).

Which roughly translates as hire a room at a venue of some sort, decorate it ourselves, hire in a load of equipment, get a kids entertainer, organise games, sort food...the list goes on. All of which I would be perfectly happy to do if I thought that the kids would like it more, but I think that games, entertainer etc is a bit much for the average just-gone-two-year-old, and that what they really want is to throw themselves madly around some padded rooms, ie soft play!

So, AIBU, or even AIB just plain lazy?

Nah - just go to soft play. Most 2 yr olds I know will be wary of an entertainer and would watch with hands over ears.

YANBU.She's two, not old enough to appreciate it or even able to understand what a party is. It'd be a waste of money.

What a birthday is sorry.

No you are not being unreasonable.

She is 2, she will enjoy soft play - there is plenty of time to show your uber-momness in the years ahead

Yanbu.
Parties are a waste of time for wee ones.
A nice cake and the family and/or a trip out are lovely, but not a proper party.

Really don't think 2 year olds and their guests will understand the concept of games and an entertainer. Soft play is great for 2 and 3 year olds. Parties get more interesting (or at least varied) when they get to 4 IME.

yanbu, 2 is so young. She won't appreciate it fully because of her age. My ds was 2 a fortnight ago and we went to soft play, he loves it. We ha a small get together in the house with family and friends and even that was too much for him, he just wanted to play with his (old) toys, and didn't want to be fussed over, made granny unhappy that he didn't want to open her (any) presents.
YAdefNBU.

YANBU. Their is plenty of time for a big party. Most 2 year olds wouldn't enjoy a big party anyway. Just go to softplay as planned,

So 1 of 4 mums and 4 of 4 dads think you should do something which will take a huge amount of effort and not be appreciated by the children. What makes me think that the dads are not actually going to be the ones having to make all the arrangements?

I had exactly this problem with my post natal group. One mum in particular wanted to do this big swimming party for their second birthday, everyone had to bring a bit of buffet and the list of faff went on and on. I actually pulled out in the early days when I could see what a monster the event was turning into. It was better for everyone, the rest of them still had the do and I had a small family party at the zoo for DD.

In the end DD had tonsillitis during the arranged weekend and we would have missed up but had to cough up for it anyway!

YANBU. Plan sounds lovely for an older party (possibly 3, more likely 4) but not for 2yos. They don't 'get' organised activities. The only way it would might work would be to hire a venue and a load of soft play equipment - we did find somewhere to hire a mini bouncy castle plus ball pool etc for DS's 3rd birthday and that worked well.

Which aspects of soft play are too tacky not special enough for the DH's / other mum? Could you find somewhere that lets you take your own food, for example? Or somewhere that lets you have exclusive use - because TBH that might well be cheaper than the alternative. IME it is the noise of soft play that most men my DH can't stand (as with so many things, neither can I, but I didn't get the choice )

YANBU, play centre and food booked for my dd who is 2 at the end of the month. The party is for her and I know she will enjoy it and its minimal hassle and expense for me.

AMumInScotland - damn right the DHs won't be doing most of the organising! My DH is brilliant at most stuff with DD, but this he draws the line at.

Stealth - I think you're right about the noise being a contributory factor (although my DH also has a thing about the smell, which I sort of understand!). We've looked at exclusive use, but its really expensive to do around us, and nowhere we can find lets you bring your own food (apart from a cake if you want a special one that doesn't have Specky Pirate on it!). Plus I strongly suspect that part of the appeal for some of the kids is that ability to play around the older children as well...

I think I'll have to show this thread to DH, so keep the comments coming!

YANBU in the least.

We had a little joint party when DD was 2 with two other people. It was lovely, but soft play would have been better probably! All we did though was hire the local village hall, put some balloons up, bring some toys from home (ride-ons, etc) and share a small buffet between us. Definitely no entertainer or anything - total waste of money imo.

I think 2 yr olds would just love to run around soft play shrieking their heads off and having fun. Plenty of time to expand time and energy organising a more formal party when they get older.

If the 1 Mum and 4 Dads want a 'proper' party, then let them organise it all

Ahem, expend time & energy, obviously

Well, if they are adamant about their plan, and you can be bothered, I would take Rindercella's approach - a selection of everyone's largest and most robust toys from home plus possibly some extra stuff if you can find somewhere to hire it, but NOT an entertainer. If the parents all know each other it is as much a gathering for them as for the DC, so I sort of get their point about the noise/smell of soft play.

It will be a lot more expensive though.

Why does your dh draw the line at organising your dd's party? What would happen if you also refused to do it?
I would just take them to soft play for a couple of hours and have a nice indoor picnick (something ''nicer'' organised by your dh )at home when you get back. Less stress for you and more fun for your dd.

TeddyBare - he tends to draw the line at organising parties full-stop - just not his forte. He organises huge amounts of other stuff to do with her - doctors' appointments, most of the housework etc, so I can allow him this one weakness!!!!

YANBU who is this party for! Its a toddlers party not an adult soiree fgs, if the los like soft play so be it, soft play it should be.

Soft play parties are quite expensive though (usually about £10 per child). Why not just hire a room, each bring a big toy and a plate of food?

Parties (adult or child) are my department in our house, so I can understand that one.

If you don't mind doing the food, etc, then as long as you keep it low key (no organised games or entertainers) the DC would probably enjoy rioting in a village hall or equiv nearly as much as soft play. Put the DH's in charge of adult refreshment

Branshott - there are probably only about 10 children that we will invite (they don't have that many good friends at this age and all know the same kids!), which means that its actually not bad value vs hiring a room, buying decorations etc.

On my DD's 5th birthday she had 12 friends and a soft play party. It was impersonal and expensive and too chaotic for even a 5 year old to enjoy and I felt stressed the whole time tbh. Last birthday she was 6 and she invited 5 friends from school. We went to a soft play centre then to pizza hut,where the children had a meal deal each including the ice cream factory. I brought a cake and they did balloons there for free. I bought 6 £1 lucky bags from sainsburys (they do v good ones) as party bags and everyone had a brilliant time. It was a party to them but cost me less than 60 quid. I highly recommend a smaller party for younger children as too many people is overwhelming and you can't relax and enjoy your child having fun imo.