visitors bearing a cold as gifts.......

[hurrydownthechimneytonight]

im almost 38 weeks pregnant AIBU to think stay the hell away if you have a cold!!

Twice now DH friends have visited both coughing and spluttering in my lounge while i sit there...... (one even telling us how his xmas was ruined as his wife and dc had all been ill... thats right come bring it to me then

I have now been left with a stinking cold, bunged up nose, bad chesty cough and feeling rough as rough sandpaper!

Stay the hell away.......

or AIBU?

yanbu!!!!!
where are their respiratory manners????
i had a friend 'friend' inflict herself on us for a night, and turned up with a stinking cold
cue then ds needing 2 days off school (no lunch breaks for me for 3 weeks) then me needing a couple of days off. my boss was delighted.

This really pisses me off. If I or my children have a cold and we are due to see friends (especially the ones with little children) I ALWAYS call to say 'shall we stay away or do you still want us bogeys an' all?'

I mean I appreciate you can't live in a bubble but it amazes me how some people just don't seem to think.

I've missed seeing a friend's newborn because one or other of us has had a nasty cold or lurgy. Baby is now 3.5 months old.

and when dsis had her most recent dc, I didn't see her for nearly 3 months because of one or other of us being poorly. I would have loved to have seen dniece when she was brand new and teeny but wouldn't dream of putting my wants above their health.

can't believe how few days there are in the year when you have little ones that all 4 of you are healthy at the same time....

Having a cold is miserable at any time; super miserable when pg and extra super miserable so near the end. hope it is rapidly going and you are ok for your new arrival...

well its 4:25am im sat with super swollen throat cussing his friends now!!

Have told DH people must call before they visit now or im not letting them in....

Thanks ladies glad im nbu!

I am going to stick my neck out now and say, I think you are being a bit unreasonable. You will encounter virus' everywhere you go, one more cold isn't the end of the world.

I would say a bog standard cold is impossible to avoid, but a cold with illness is not ok to visit a friend with, especially a pregnant woman close to due date.

YANBU I used to have a friend who would turn up with her kids and say 'by the way he has croup/flu/temp'. Dropped her in the end as she was selfish in many ways. I always check first. Lately keep coming accross people out and about with suspected swine flu. So selfish.

YANBU to want a person who is ill(temperature,sickness, ...) visiting but if you want to avoid everyone with a cold in this season, you are going to be very lonely.[

Yes, you will encounter viruses everywhere, but there's a difference between accepting that risk, and someone inflicting it on you when you're vulnerable and sitting in your own home because they can't be bothered to think.

I may be symptahising too much with OP because I'm in a similar situation currently but my DH family are always doing this to me. His brother, esp, has a real tendency to come round to ask for favours, stay for hours and then casually mention that he was up all night with D&V when declining grudgingly made offers of food.

He turned up at lunchtime on NYE wanting help with his car, streaming full of a chest infection. Promptly cue me being rotten all week at 40 weeks and due to go into labour at any moment. Never even occured to him to use the phone! (or, apparently, that we might have, ahem, issues with lending him our car at that particular time, but that's bye the bye!)

So, no, OP... NOT unreasonable. It's basic common courtesy to think before you act!

ahem, *sympathising...

Must learn to type....

YANBU. It's fine running the risk of picking up bugs when you are out and about in public places - that's your choice- but people should not bring their snotty germs to your home. Hope you feel better soon.

Yanbu. It's rude for visitors to come over with their stinking germs. I've had people do that to me when visiting my (now 3 month old) baby. The worse ones are those who claim that they're no longer contagious (er, how do they know??) after kissing/sneezing/taking out their dirty hankies and then touching my DS. Maybe I'm being PFB about it but have some manners, purlease!

Two thoughts....
Firstly people are infectious before they have symptoms of colds etc, so you would have to isolate yourself completely to protect yourself.
More importantly, whilst you may be feeling rough now, your baby will appreciate the antibodies your body is now making. Every cloud has a silver lining.

unknowingly passing on germs is another issue altogether - it can't be helped.
however knowingly bringing an illness into the home of a child without a forewarning is bloody rude.
when dc was smaller he had asthma and a cold was very debilitating for him. thankfully he has outgrown his condition, but as his mother i reserve the right to want to protect him from feeling ill.

thanks ladies!

I dont mind taking the risk through choice ie going out etc, but i had stayed in over christmas due to the ice and snow trying to avoid such things.

DH has caklled 3 times today to check i am ok bless and has agreed people are to call before arriving.

Def silver lining though am sure baby will be grateful for the antibodies. We have slept almost all day

When I was 9 weeks pregnant (3 weeks ago) I had the same. A relative stayed for the night, knowing I was pregnant and on coming through the door, exclaiming what terrible flu she had . Cue me being terribly ill 3 days later and over Xmas (which was ruined) with full blown flu which I never get except when pregnant as obviously immunity is crap at this time and I had already made an effort to avoid people who were ill and do not use public transport.

Thing is, I had terrible flu at about 8/9 weeks with a previous pregnancy which ended in a stillbirth. Docs could not pinpoint the cause but kept asking me if I had flu like symptons in early pregnancy and thought it may have been a factor so now I will be crapping myself all the way through this pregnancy . Makes me mad sometimes that people can't think about the implications of passing on their germs to other people.

My 2 DCs both have serious auto-immune conditions (flu, for example, will almost inevitably result in hospitalization for either of them).

Consequently I have had to make it clear over the years that people suffering from flu, chest infections, D&V or anything for which they are taking antibiotics aren?t really welcome in our home. Common colds I can live with ? just!

Seeing that you are 38 weeks preggers, and presumably your visitors knew that before they rang the doorbell, YANBU at all!

You would also NBU if, for example, you (or your DH or DC) suffered from asthma, compromised immune system, etc etc. People can be so thoughtless. I am another person who warns people that I (or the DC) have colds etc if we are due to meet - it is common courtesy.

That said, the mother at my DC's school who is always wittering on about wanting to HE her DCs because she's sick of them catching colds (and no, they do NOT have any underlying health problems) is getting on my wick a bit now!! She suggested that I should have kept my DC at home when I was suffering from flu (the kids weren't ill and didn't become ill either) as I could have passed the bug on to someone in the playground ... that is taking it a bit far! I had a scarf over my face, stood by the gate and literally shoved the DCs into the playground with instructions to run into school without me ...

Like mattellie, if someone asks if I mind if they bring a cold/d & v bug etc into my home, I tell them that they are not welcome! We don't have any underlying health problems, but I don't see the point in deliberately trying to get ill when the kids are going to pick up germs at school already!

YA so, so, so NBU.

I think it is rude and self-involved to visit someone if you're sick. And if the visitee is pregnant, doubly so.

We were invited to friends new years day but could not go as DH1 was unwell with a tummy bug, I WOULD NEVER TAKE MY GERMS TO OTHERS

YANBU I had a nasty cold/chest infection nr the end when pg with dc1, it was horrid, i was huge and had spd, and that was the last straw, i felt terrible.

When dc2 was born, sis and bil visited at about 3 weeks, turns out she had a viral infection and d&v so me, dp, dc1+2 ended up with feroious d&v for 3 days and i had to try and bf dc2, it was horrid and had i known she was ill before she turned up i would of sent her 100miles home and told her to come down another time to see us.

this time round its a summer baby, but im still thinking of putting a note on the door saying no visitors with bugs please.