to assume someone that hasn't RSVP'd a party invite isn't coming?

[Flyonthewindscreen]

My DS is having his birthday party at a bowling place soon. I have to give definate numbers (and pay for them) by Saturday. Invitations were given out before xmas with a RSVP date of this Tues (first day back at school) and my home and mobile nos on the invite. All the invitees have replied or been "chased" and are coming except one. X's mother doesn't do school pick up/drop off and hasn't replied to the two phone messages I left her.

Should I assume X isn't coming if I can't get hold of his mother to ask or assume he is and pay for him and possibly end up out of pocket? WWYD? Not X's fault his mother has forgotten/can't be bothered to reply...

Assume he isn't coming but even if he shows up the bowling alley will be OK with it and let you pay for him on the day. She's out of order though I mean send a text or SOMETHING

I agree assume, he isnt coming

If he does turn up, welcome him and have a word with his mother...........

Message withdrawn

Thanks for replies - have decided not to pay for X and hope that the continuing bad wether doesn't mean no shows all round!

Last year I had a non-replier who turned up (luckily party at house - for 4yo) and brought older sister along too!!!!

I have had determined non repliers turn up on the day.
I just greet them with "oh how nice, we weren't expecting you but how nice that little Twonky here made it. Paggirl will be soooo happy' then to mum 'look I am going to have to rumage around to find something for a party bag but I will do my best'

it makes the child still feel welcome but forces the parent to apologise - which is faintly satisfying. and fwiw I always have extra party bags just in case

Unbeleievably rude though

It is sooo rude. I had 5 non repliers for ds's party at a soft play place, where you are charged 1/2 price for non shows. I guessed in the end and added a couple on but they didn't turn up and one who did say they were coming, didn't turn up (no text, apology or anything said the next time I saw the mother at school!)

It drives me mad when people dont let you know. I once had a party for 20 and only 10 confirmed.

Its my dds party on Sat and im having the same problem, out of 21 only 13 have RSVPd, so im just going to do around 16 party bags (as party favours usually come in packs of 8) and if others turn up its bloody tough!

Someone on another thread had a great idea. Send out the invites with the following:- Johnnie would like Sammy to come to his party on 1.1.11 please text for further details.

That is a good idea, wish id have thought of that!

Fimbow, thats a great idea.

I was thinking of having a party for my special needs ds this year, his first ever. He never gets invited to parties or to other childrens houses, so i am really unsure of how many would accept.

The thought of no one turning up, has put me right off.

Claw don't let it put you off, my ds has a lovely friend who has autisim, I invited him to ds's party, his mum who watches him like a hawk, had a great time, she said she felt relaxed as we have all included them in things.

Fimbow, my ds is great with other kids, not at all aggresive and very passive. He loves the idea of having friends and a party, but his behaviour is just a bit odd to other 5 year olds and they tend to avoid him which is understandable.

I thought having a party would be great to try and involve him a bit more, but cant help worrying that everyone might be 'busy' or worse still, not reply at all and having to go ahead with a party that no one attends!

Your idea is great though, at least i would know before hand and could have a change of plan.