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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my son should not have been put on special measures because he suffers injurys during sport? Help - Worcestershire

78 replies

littlemoominmamma · 06/01/2010 19:07

My son is a top flight athelete. He runs for the County plays tennis, golf, basketball, etc... won lots of trophys medals etc...

His main love in life is RUGBY.

He plays and trains all year round. Playing for his school, local club, county, regional, acadamy for top club and an elite training group. He is passionate about it training 2-3 times a week along with his running and playing games at the weekend - it is very hard work but we support him and run him around everywhere.

Along with this he is doing brilliantly at school, in top set for maths 3rd in county math challenge, english, science etc.. taking some exams a year early next year. He is also on the school council. All this despite being dyslexic.

He suffers with injurys (as you would expect) and is laid up with them, missing some (not a lot) of school. I have been in and spoken to his head of year, p.e teacher and class teacher and they were happy that as long as he stayed on top of his school work he should stay at home until any injury was properly healed (he has phyisio's who advise us and attends a&e if x-rays etc. are needed)

Today I recieved a letter from the familys dept. threatning legal action as his attendance was, although not at the level were they would call him a persistant absconder, it was not high enough. He will now be made to report with all the druggies and idiots who skive school (which he is very upset about and dreading) and will be appraised weekly. If his attendance does not improve action will be taken. ??? All this has been confirmed to me on the phone by a completely unsypathetic woman who seemed to think he should play less sport (this is his chosen career)

The woman at the familys Dept. said there was no leyway and once the childs attendance dropped below a level they would have to intervene.

The School was closed today so I could not phone them.

My son is not just doing well at school - he is excelling against the odds (refused use of a laptop in class which was advised for his dyslexia - given no help or special treatment as school had lost all notes on his special needs, his teachers were not even aware!!!)

AIBU - To think that a state school is failing my son because he is gifted at sport? He feels like he has let us down and got us into trouble - which is so not the case.

Please can anyone tell me if he would be elligable for a bursury (we have no money and live in an ex-council house) at a private school ( we are in Worcestershire )

Any advice on what to do next will be so, so appreciated - sorry for rambling

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 06/01/2010 21:20

Thanks Gizzy, hope they like Rugby, feel gutted about even thinking of moving him from his school and friends. What a sad situation

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itchyandscratchy · 06/01/2010 21:21

Why don't you give Ian Narraway a ring (butcher in St.Johns Worcs, not too far away from you). His son is Luke Narraway; plays for England and went to Kings or WRGS (although not on a scholarship), but might have some advice for you?? Just a thought...

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 06/01/2010 21:26

Thanks Itchy any advice would be very very welcome - might go and buy some sausages. Kings and WRGS keep coming up - if anyone knows anyone in these schools would love an opinion on them - thanks again ....

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gherkinwithapurplemerkin · 06/01/2010 21:27

littlemoomin - The Royal Grammar traditonally much more sporty then Kings school. However as a state school teacher in Worcs (in a sports college) I would be interested in seeing him supported in this sector before moving into private ed.

As people have said, these letters etc may just be box-ticking. I would make an appt with the Head (maybe get rugby club coach involved) and stress what a good ambassador for the school your ds is, involved in this sport at the highest level. Betcha get a different reaction then.

itchyandscratchy · 06/01/2010 21:29

they've both got great reps. WRGS merged with the alice ottley school last year so it's both sexes now. Kings is boys except the 6th form which is mixed. I know someone who teaches at Kings. The setting is lush (at the foot of the cathedral).

Kings
RGS

toddlerama · 06/01/2010 21:31

I wouldn't get angry about the special measures - sounds like box ticking. No-one's going to prosecute you over something so easily explained and verified. Would you consider letting him board? Solves the attendance issues, doctors at school etc.

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 06/01/2010 21:42

gherkin - thankyou for your reply, I would love for him to stay in his state school and for all this to just go away. We put a lot of effort into supporting our children - whatever they want to do (daughter no.1 just graduated with hons from uni.)

Unfortunatly the lady at Familys Dept was adamant that now he had been put into the system there was no easy way to get out of it. He will have to improve his attendance and she wanted physical proof of all visits to A&e, minor injurys, doctors etc mentioned some sort of slip???.. (so not taking my word for it) and we will see how he gets on!!!

Being a teacher in a sports college are your pupils supported differently? His school are aware of his abilities and have been fine up until now.

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gizzy1973 · 06/01/2010 21:42

i know teenagers at both and would say academically not much to choose between them although i think kings offer a bit more support on the academic side

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 06/01/2010 21:44

Thankyou for the links itchy - they look great, fantastic facilitys, he would thrive!!!!

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gizzy1973 · 06/01/2010 21:46

kings is definately mixed as my godsons sister goes there

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 06/01/2010 21:56

Just a big shout out - IF there is anyone out there who loves Rugby or who's husband loves Rugby and can think of ANY way I can help my son, please, please, please, just leave a message! thankyou so much!

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Loshad · 06/01/2010 22:05

my kids all play rugby ( 2 at high level) but are at indi schools. Their sports are well supported, facilities are fab and you certainly woudln't have had a letter like that. Thier cousin is also a v. good rugby player, lives in sw and plays county level. His single mum has v little money but he has got a scholarship (full fees)to a top indi school on the basis of his sporting ability - you need to check out the local fee paying schools - some won't be bothered, some will be v. keen on their rugby - ask the mums on his county side to try and work out which of the decent ones locally are - then approach them about scholarships - you will probably find 1 or 2 would love to have him, partic if he is bright academically. good luck, and hugs to your ds - he sounds like a great lad.

Littlefish · 06/01/2010 22:06

You really just need to meet with the school and the EWO (educational welfare officer) to talk the situation through. If the school say that he is keeping up his grades, and you are able to show evidence from the GP (or possibly club medics?) to show that you are following their advice, then I very much doubt that there is anything the EWO can do.

Have you spoken to his club about this? Have they written a letter to the EWO?

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 06/01/2010 22:16

Little fish - only got letter today, school closed.

Loshad - We were idiots to think he could do this at a state school. He is sooo upset and worried - it is just sh** to treat a child like this, obviously why most talented players go to indi schools - thankyou so much for your support.

My mind is nearly made up, we need to get him out of this asap unless it is thrown out right away.

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Littlefish · 06/01/2010 22:24

Don't make any snap decisions. Meet with the school. EWOs send out standard letters which are triggered when a certain percentage is reached.

GeneHuntsMistress · 06/01/2010 22:40

only read half of the first page but i would urge you to contact your MP. perfect case of who can help you. they will be able to negotiate LEA and all the other agencies who set these "rules" but will not discuss with you/each other. does that even make sense?!

anyhooo, get in touch with your MP and they will def want to help you out here. They run weekly "surgeries" where you go in and meet and tell them the issue, or i have in the past called up for an urgent matter (elderly parent lying in A&E for over 16 hours), explained to mP secretary, MP called me back within 30 mins and was most sympathetic although did explain that he could not intervene directly in individual cases.............funnily enough though he was moved onto a ward within 20 minutes of our phone conversation......

i know its different situation but just as an example to show you one incidence of what our MPs are there for. In an election year and with adverse local press to boot, your MP will be chomping at the bit to help your son achieve success at school and further career.

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 07/01/2010 07:45

Thankyou gene - I know I would be unable to home school him, he is far beyond my level.

He wants to be at school, which he loves, and he needs the help and support of teachers (who he gets on really well with) to get him through his exams.

In the event of him being injured this weekend (away match) we would usually get him seen by physio (make sure nothing is broken) get him in the car get him home and pack the injury with ice and give him ibuprofen.

Now we will have to drive around with him to find the nearest A&E where we may have to wait hours (non-urgent case) just to get a letter from a doctor (wasting everyones time) before we could get him home and treat the injury. This would make it more likely to have to keep him off school longer in order to let it heal.???? We would not have our sons best intrests at heart if we let this happen but it would tick their boxes!

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nickschick · 07/01/2010 07:52

My son misses a lot of school too,he has a health issue - what you can do is to ask all the medical people he has support from to write to the school and leato support your sons absences and your gp can write a letter saying that the time absent from school is due to these injuries,the LEA in my area accepted this with no problems and my son is at less than 60% attendance at the moment.

Incidentally school can arrange for students to attend school even whilst suffering quite serious illnesses and so it may be that your son could be in school for some of the time he is absent.

I think id be questioning the amount of injuries he is receiving as surely long term this will effect his growing body and indeed his adult body and any top teams decision to take him?.

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 07/01/2010 08:07

Nick - sadly my situation is very different to yours - If it was a long term illness it would be fine by them. He is also not missing large chunks of school, just barely scrapping into their limits. He completes all school work.

I think I have fully explained all injurys and treatment in my previous posts - he is already with a club and well looked after.

Littlefish - sadly this was not a standard letter.

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ajandjjmum · 07/01/2010 08:25

Maybe contact your local paper - they may be interested in running a story - no wonder we struggle at international sport, when parents are being threatened with jail for encouraging their kids.

If your son wasn't keeping up academically, I would think the concern was justified, but as he is, it seems bureaucracy gone mad - again!!

FloraPost · 07/01/2010 08:37

GeneHuntsMistress is spot on. I ran an MP's office for 5 years, this is just the sort of thing they would love to help with. See what the Head and the EWO say first though.

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 07/01/2010 09:18

Good News - Had a phonecall from the school this morning, just as we were about to step out the door!.

They have said to ignore this letter and throw it away. They don't know how his name got onto this list, but appologised and said it was a huge mistake. They are very happy with my son and his school work, he is fine. They are e-mailing the LEA and phoning the EWO this morning.

I held it together this morning dropping the kids off but have just had a good old sob, it is such a relief.!!!!

I thank god that there is still some common sense left in our schools - well done to the school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A huge thankyou to all of you who took the time to reply and for all your sound advice, it really helped me get through the last 24hours. Lets hope that that is an end to it and we can get back to doing what we do best (thrashing all the other schools at Rugby!!)

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RubysReturn · 07/01/2010 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 07/01/2010 10:51

have a look at your local independents. Many do have sports bursaries. If he is ranked high enough in some of the sporst he could get looked at. But the good sporting school can be tough - three of DS1s classmates play rugby for england.

Do your research.

But to be honest I think if he is having constant injuries you may need to consider that his range of sporting interests is putting exccessive pressure on his young body. My DS is the same and sometimes they need to be protected from themselves if they are not to burn out.
If he is accessing several different sport through different clubs then no one is doing the joining up re his total trainning load. If he starts accessing some of these through his school then they can help him balance his trainning

Original poster
littlemoominmamma · 07/01/2010 10:55

Thanks Ruby - I am going to talk to the school about it at his options meeting, I was kind of aware he could have some help, just no idea what sort. Strangely he can spell quite well on a laptop ?? and he has a special dictionary he uses at home (wont be seen dead with it in school though!) Thanks again for your help x

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