To consider having an au pair whilst on maternity leave?

[CoffeeAndCarrotCake]

We have an au pair at the moment to look after DD for a few hours a day after nursery and to help with the housework. It works very well.

I'm expecting DC2 in the spring, and I'd always assumed that, as I'd be on maternity leave, there'd be absolutely no point having an AP, and that having somebody else around the house would be annoying if I'm home full time. I'd keep DD going to nursery 3 or 4 mornings a week for continuity, because she loves it and I wouldn't want to stop it just to try and get her used to it again when I go back to work. So I'd have 3 or 4 mornings with just DC2, and the rest of the week with both (plus DH would be around at weekends of course).

Those of you with experience of having a toddler and a new baby, would you have appreciated an extra pair of hands, or would you prefer to go it alone? I can't help but think that its a bit of a cop out for me to pay for help with my own two children when I'm on leave anyway. AIBU?

I would have liked help to get my older one to nursery as it is a pain getting the baby ready to go all the time. I would have been annoyed if she was her all the time and I would have felt uncomfortabel relaxing about the place BUT a rest now and then would be good.

YANBU to consider it at all!

I'm hoping I will be able to afford an AP while I'm on mat leave. YANBU

Go for it if you can. I was on my own after my DD2 with the first one going to sschool.Would have really like some help.Even if you have to have some afternoon sleep after sleepless nights she will be handy.

Yeah do it. The AP can do the boring stuff and you can concentrate on the baby.

I've had help with DD while I;ve been on ML with DS and it has made such a difference. I can have some time with DS, go to babygroups which DD would a) hate and b) rampage at, a chance to catch up with sleep and importantly for me, a chance to really get breastfeeding established properly.

Also still have lots of lovely time with DD and DS together.

If you can afford it, I say go for it.

I kept my nanny on when on maternity leave with DS2 (mainly because I wanted her to look after both boys when I went back to work) and it was brilliant - DS1 had continuity of care throughout (and loved having mummy around just to himself if our nanny looked after baby for abit so we could get some quality time together) and did all his usual activities and DS2 knew his nanny so no separation anxiety issues when I had to go back to work. Mind you, did make money rather tight...

Pre-DS I wouldn't have thought it would be helpful, but now I'm due in May my answer is absolutely YES!

If you can afford to keep her when you're on mat leave, then I would defintely go for it.

Have the au pair - I had one when I was in exactly your position and it was wonderful. I suspect it really helped re quashing jealousy, and made sure I actually got some rest so had some breastmilk (bf for me definitely linked to rest). Go for it.

Wow - a resounding NBU then! Thanks. I shall put aside my thoughts of laziness and start looking for a new AP (ours is leaving in April). Funny how many of my set-in-stone views are entirely reversed after having children!!

Good grief yes! My au pair arrived when the baby was 2 weeks old and she's been a godsend. Being able to have a shower, pay an online bill or take the rubbish out without worrying about what's going on inside the house or having to take the baby with you is invaluable. Extra pair of hands is wonderful.

Obv I mean yanbu

I specifically arranged to have an AP with us when DS2 was due and for the 4 months afterwards. It was an absolute godsend and I don't think I would have coped without her. My DH works long hours and having an extra pair of hands about the house worked so very well for us.

YANBU

YANBU, not at all, if you want to & can afford to - why not! Personally I'd rather 'go it alone' than have another adult living in the house - but it's the differences in us that make life more interesting

yanbu if you can afford and will find it useful.
personally i rather go it alone as a person in my house would really annoy me, i think the option of the older one being in nursery sometimes would be better but there would b positives to both

Great idea in my opinion!

We have had a toddler (now 5), a baby, I was a sahm; and we had an au pair. I was worried we'd be relinquishing our much-loved privacy ... and that I was "copping out" - but it was priceless.

We still have an au pair now.