to have told another 5 year old off at a party for hitting my ds?

[blardyfreezing]

Was at a kids' party on Saturday and a child from ds's class started hitting him and pushing him during the disco bit. Totally unprovoked but I guess they're four/ five and these things happen so I don't want to make a huge deal of it.

I left it at first thinking ds needs to learn to fight his own battles (hopefully not literally) but this boy carried on so I intervened. I calmly told the other boy not to hit ds and scooped up the crying ds out of the way to a corner to calm him down as he was upset.

Did I do the right thing or was I being overprotective?

I know a few mums mentioned it to the teaching assistant and am a bit worried this is because they think I over reacted or something or would it be because the boy concerned has a bit of a track record of this and they wanted to make her aware of it?

I have name changed in case any of the mums from ds's class is a MNetter!

No you di the right thing.definitely.
Don't quite follow the post re the TA ? I don't understand what it has to do with the school ?

Sounds fine to me. Luckily all the parents of DS's class are sensible reasonable sorts and we all feel quite comfortable telling off each other's kids.

Today I am yelling at someone else's kid and tomorrow they are yelling at mine. All works out in the end.

YANBU. And I hasten to add that I would be entirely happy for someone to tell my child off if they were shoving/pushing another. It's got nothing to do with the school - you weren't overly aggressive to the child, didn't restrain or bully. But I think that there are far too many parents out there convinced not only that their children are little angels but also that no one has the right, ever, to say anything to them that is less than complimentary.

bellissima tries to stop feeling about 102...

YANBU and why are other mothers telling the teaching assistant? It did not happen in school, bunch of freaks!

Madame and Kimi - although it happened at a party, I guess this boy's behaviour is a cause for concern at school too so maybe they mentioned it to make the teachers aware that this happened to add to evidence that there is a bit of a problem going on with him?

Not sure if that's true but based on other comments on here, that'd be my best guess. Or they're a big load of gossips (but then I am sometimes so I can't complain!)

That was the reason I mentioned it to the TA - even though it was out of school, there was another incident where this boy did something horrid to ds so I felt I needed to mention that something else had happened.

Blardyfreezing you were very calm in that situation, i would have been more firm with the boy, sometimes we pussyfoot too much around kids, they need to hear it straight how it is i think without being shouty or rude.

YANBU - Much better to say something, rather than send your child the message that it is ok for someone to hit them and you won't intervene.

YANBU to tell him off and not U to mention it to the TA IN RELATION to your child. However, not quite sure what it has to do with other parents and 'the bigger picture'.

Presumably his parents know that he has 'issues' and for them to find out he is being 'discussed' will probably not be very nice.

You haven't done anything wrong. However, assuming this is your first child at school, I would say do what you're doing, concentrate on your child and do not get too involved with the 'gossips'. Today it's that child, tomorrow it could be yours they are 'concerned' about.

Poshpaws - I think that's really wise advice. After the first incident I actually went out of my way not to mention it to any other mums apart from one who I am closer friends with.

Having been that child at school, as mentioned below, I hope I'm a bit more sensitive to it all than I otherwise would be. There is likely a reason why he is like this and even if there isn't the mum is probably stressed enough about it as it is.

I remember in my hitting phase in the equivalent of year 1, I got a good wallop from the (male) teacher at least once in response. Wouldn't get that happening now!