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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Second time aroun

32 replies

Kirkers · 05/01/2010 15:47

I met my dp June 05. He had been separated since 5 August 04. We have been together since then. Since I got together with him, ds and I have been excluded from all their family gatherings for the sake of his children aged, now, 19, 23 and 24. My son, now aged 12, has watched this since 2005. NOW; because more than 5 years have passed, he is finally getting divorced. Now I am invited finally to his family gatherings. AIBU to think (if not acually say) Take a Hike? We have managed the lonely Christmas's, and being treated like a marriage breaker, which I am not; see dates. Thanks allxx.

OP posts:
SleighGirl · 05/01/2010 18:20

ermmmmmm actually I think the problem is with your dp not his family.

He has made out that you are not important/insignificant so it was fine for you to not be included.

Original poster
Kirkers · 05/01/2010 19:22

Thank you everybody.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kirkers · 05/01/2010 19:43

I might just say, by the way, that I sort of know of people who know his children and they are highly spoken of by peeps that I know ifswim. I put that too formally. I mean that I don't blame them.
But they have grown a little too comfortable to order me out of the car in tears in case the wife of my partner should catch sight of me. Last case of this was Dec 08.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 05/01/2010 19:59

sorry,dont understand last part.the dss dont order you about since dec08

hope you can resolve this,and perhaps be clear to your dp, some understanding of your situation as underdog.what will he do to facilitate change and bit more equal footing and manners

Original poster
Kirkers · 05/01/2010 20:13

Thanks all; esp Scottish mummy. I will sleep on it.

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 05/01/2010 20:25

So the ex wife and the children were at the family gatherings and they didn't want the new partner (ie OP) there as well?

Have I got that right? It sounds quite normal to me to not invite new girlfriend when ex wife and children are going to be there it would be hideous all round. Then once it's been done a few times it becomes the norm I guess they see the divorce as a good time to start afresh with the new arrangements ie OP and her son to come?

Or have I got totally the wrong end of the stick looking at the responses!

ImSoNotTelling · 05/01/2010 20:35

Do you get on well with the children?

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