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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wake up my snoring DH at 2:30am to tell him to shut up

17 replies

starzzz · 05/01/2010 13:24

because I cant get to sleep? I have to get up at half 7, while he stays in bed till 9/10am! He says im very selfish to do that... what do you think?

OP posts:
TillyMintSpy · 05/01/2010 13:25

You are not selfish - he is for snoring

I have to kick my DH about 10 times each night, so I feel your pain!

thelunar66 · 05/01/2010 13:26

Well, having lived for years and years with a snorer, I've come to the same conclusion... wake the bastard up as many times as he wakes you up! Only then he might get the message to go seek medical help.

I feel your pain and frustratin

flimflammum · 05/01/2010 13:26

YABU to just wake him up - speaking from personal experience, I would make him sleep in the spare room.

Picante · 05/01/2010 13:27

God I'd have kicked him out. In fact I did kick dh out up into the loft for quite some time! He's a good boy now and doesn't sleep on his back any more. I had threatened him with tying a tennis ball to his back!

BigBadMummy · 05/01/2010 13:28

I am the guilty party in our house. I don't think my DH wakes me up as much as I wake him with my snoring.

I don't think I would be annoyed if he did though. There is nothing worse than lying there listening to somebody snore when you can't get to sleep.

mrslurkalot · 05/01/2010 13:30

I thought I was v restrained to only wake my DH twice last night - YANBU!!!!

I don't think they understand that you cannot sleep through it. My DH is losing weight to try to stop but it hasn't worked yet. I feel like I have a massive hangover, and a missed night affects my whole day.

LeQueen · 05/01/2010 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Southwind · 05/01/2010 13:31

YANBU - I bought DP a anti-snore pillow, it does not work the way it suppose to according to the instructions so I told him if he doesnt get it sorted soon I will use the pillow another way the instructions doesn't advice.......

sparklycheerymummy · 05/01/2010 13:31

yanbu..... i have a thread somewhere like this xxx

catsmother · 05/01/2010 13:38

I guess what you mean is that you've woken him up by nodding and prodding him in the hope he'll shift position and shut up ?

That's hardly unreasonable .... sleep deprivation, night after night, is no laughing matter and you'd have to be super human to ignore the disgusting and loud noise right next to you, when you are desperate for sleep yourself.

I was still awake at 2.30 this morning and then awake from 6.15, (plus I know I was woken up a few times inbetween) feel dreadful now .... all because my DP was snoring and grinding his teeth (really loudly, god knows how he does it, I can't even begin to replicate the noise). Trouble is, he's one of those snorers who snores in all positions, so even if he moves, he'll start snoring again 10 mins later, when I'll have finally dropped off to sleep.

He says "kick me out" (to the spare room) but in order to do that, I have to endure a time of laying there listening to the noise and at least trying to go to sleep. Just for once, I'd like to go to bed, snuggle down and fall asleep without being completely wound up and tense because I know what's coming. However, if I ask him to sleep in the spare room straight off he gets the huff like it's an affront to his "status" as my partner ..... so I can't win.

What really bugs me is that despite numerous visits to the GP for assorted minor complaints, he somehow always "forgets" to mention the snoring and teeth grinding. Probably because he'd be told to lose weight for starters and he's too lazy and too fond of his food to do that.

I do appreciate that snoring is an involuntary act but where someone makes no attempt to rectify that it becomes a bloody slefish one too. Furthermore, even if the snoring can't be helped, they shouldn't get arsey about your perfectly reasonable need for some decent sleep and where possible, let you have the bed to yourself at least some of the time. I actually dread going to bed each night, even when I'm falling down with tiredness because it's like torture trying to sleep next to a serious snorer.

Sorry to have hijcaked your thread, but no, you're not being unreasonable to attempt to secure a quiet environment to fall asleep in. No-one can be expected NOT to sleep.

lovechoc · 05/01/2010 13:45

I got DH to go to the GP because of this. he ended up getting a referral to a sleep clinic and was diagnosed with a sleeping disorder. I used to prod him to be quiet but had enough and told him to get something done about it ASAP. it worked and he hasn't snored since - he uses CPAP therapy.

KittyCatIsGettingFat · 05/01/2010 15:51

YADNBU! I had the same problem - till I bough DH one of these snoremender

Twas the best £50 I've ever spent...

bluesheep · 05/01/2010 16:16

YAdefinatelyNBU! I have lived with my DP's chronic snoring for years and there are nights when I just want to tear my hair out. He has had operations to try and stop the snoring, he's even had some of the soft pallette and nasal membranes removed, but it hasn't worked at all. His dad had severe sleep apnoea and I'm worried DP has this as well, as he is constantly breath-holding in his sleep (it's the only time he's not snoring!).

I have to physically roll him over to stop the noise, however he is such a heavy sleeper it rarely wakes him up. I've even pushed him out of bed before, but he just lay on the floor snoring away!

It's not at all unreasonable to try and get some sleep yourself, has your DP tried all the over-the-counter remedies? Some of them are supposedly effective (although not in my DP's case - bugger!)

starzzz · 05/01/2010 16:47

Oooh thanks for making me feel better. Normally I just whisper to him to lie on his side, and he does without waking. Last night maybe i was a little louder in my whisper than usual. Im actually thinking myself lucky now after reading your replies, my DH isnt too bad in general, just now and again really.

I do feel for you all with cronic snorers tho!!

OP posts:
stoppinattwo · 05/01/2010 16:54

I have found from experience that Anti snore pillows only work if you place them directly over the face MWAH HA HA HA HA>

FairyCakeBump · 05/01/2010 19:04

God no, YANBU. I bought a huge variety of earplugs to try out and even the best of them don't completely block out DP's snoring. We have an arrangement - every so often he sleeps on the sofa so we can both get some sleep, otherwise I end up waking him in the middle of the night to kick him out of bed.

belfastbetty · 05/01/2010 19:12

i hold my husband's nose for a few seconds and that normally shuts him up...

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