To go abroad and not have a reception?

[honeybehappy]

Me and DP want to get married this year, his family are shit and we only see his mum and dad, his brothers only phone him when its to do with his dad, apprantly we are scum because we live in a HA house and dont have a bank full of money. So his 3 brothers and their wives and children probably wouldnt come but if they did it would be so my wonderful SIL's could take the piss.

I have just had a quote from a local hotel and it would cost nearly £3000 for the ceremony and lunch for 20 people and a evening reception for 70. Thats without drinks.

I was really brave last night and said to DP that i dont want to pay £600 for a sit down lunch for his family who dont like me or care about our dd's. Dp agreed and as we dont really have any friends anymore how could we fill a room with 70 people for the evening?

So we decided its prob best to go abroad but AIBU because it may mean our mums cant come and DP's dad is too poorly. Dp's sister would prob come and maybe my sister and nephew but that depends on cost.

Has anyone got married abroad and want to give me any good websites, i really havnt got a clue.
Any suggestions welcome!!!

YANBU, it's your wedding not anyone elses. But this will have a knock on effect, as long as you can handle it go for it!

UseToBeAWeddingPlannerTiggaxx

Why don't you have a small registry office do with the family who you actually want to be there, go to a local restaurant for lunch with the family you actually want to be there (or even just you, DP, the witnesses and your DC(s)), and then go on holiday yourselves the next day? I don't see why it has to be a big do here or a wedding overseas - there must be some middle ground.

Honey We got married in Bath (I know not aboard) with only my best friend and her husband & DH's bestfriend and his wife & we love our family. It a long unimportant story but I had a lovely wedding. No one has made a major comment on it or not spoken to us. Just say it's to save money.Don't tell people who will join you and just invite those people you really want to be there & who can afford it. I quite like the idea of Gretna Green everyone will think you've done it on the spur of the moment (you don't have to say you've been planning it for years.)
Please double check how DP feels as you don't want it thrown back at you in a row in the future
Good luck

I can handle it, it's DP thats upset how they treat him. They were all so close when we rented a private house but both SIL's are so snobby a BIL's dont haveany balls to stand upto them and stick up for their brother.

I really dont want a registry office wedding, i hate attention so i have surprised myself but it just wouldnt feel right. i suggested gretna green to DP but he isnt keen and wants italy or barbados

Marriages are more important than weddings.

Get a licence, get a day off work, get married at your local registry office just the two of you, your DDs and a couple of witnesses (anybody will do). Wear a nice dress and have a couple of pictures taken by the registrar. This will cost very little.

Then go on a nice holiday either just the two of you (a long weekend if you can get babysitting, make it really romantic) or a family holiday together.

Taking time to think about each other and remember why you want to be together forever is all that matters. You can make it a beautiful, special occasion for the two of you that you'll always remember. There is absolutely no need to spend a lot of money on it.

*Warning - you either do it this way or you have to invite everybody. With weddings, I think the all or nothing approach works best. Unless you want to start a feud for life. It's not worth it. Do your own thing but make sure everybody knows there will only be the two of you involved.

That is rotten. I can't comment because I didn't speak to my sister for months when she got pregnant at 15 years. I was also young and she has forgiven me many many years ago. My lovely nephews are 22 yrs & 19 yrs & love their Wicked Aunty. Sis is still married to the bofriend who got her up the daph. (don't know how to spell that!!!)

starbear your day sounds perfact!! im getting wound up thinking about his bloody family and wish we could just go somewhere without telling any of them.

Why not? Just tell them when you get back with a smile on your face as if its a lovely surprise just pretend to be a little dim about their feelings. I know lots of people like that!

if it's Italy you want have a look at this site. Friend of mine used them and it all turned out lovely.

DH and I took ourselves off on a beach holiday and got married there. Mum wasn't too happy, lots of rellies I never knew I had got arsey but it was the most wonderful two weeks ever. Just remember whose wedding it is, and who has to organise/pay for bridezilla-stylee weddings.

So go for it! We used Co-Op travel as we had a local branch, they were lovely and got us a good deal all-inclusive in Mauritius, which I never dreamed we could afford. It's great having everyone run round organising things for you too, much less stress than DIY at home!

Skiptomylou Mauritius sounds lovely can i ask what sort of price you paid?

Well this was 14 years ago, but as I remember it was about £800 each per week. We were lucky though in that my parents gave us £2000, mostly out of relief I think at not having to pay for a big do!

There are lots of places in the Caribbean that are great for weddings too though, and probably cheaper - Antigua springs to mind. And it might seem expensive but that was for full board, all food and drinks included, which meant we only paid extra to go on tours. The whole wedding, cake, legal stuff, flowers were all part of the deal, I don't remember paying any extras for that side of it.

What Starbear said! Brilliant suggestion!

Btw, I'm planning a wedding atm and while I am going with the reception and all, it's quite a pain to organize and much harder to coordinate different family/friends groups than I thought - I'm getting quite irritated by people I normally love to bits, so trying it with people you don't even like sounds like begging disaster.

Thomas Cook do weddings, they have on their website and brochures in store. DP and I are thinking of doing the same, it works out way cheaper!

We got married in Kenya - it was just me and dh that went and a couple from the flight who were in the same hotel were our witnesses. We didnt have a reception when we got back as it would be too difficult/expensive to arrange as we stayed in England and my family was in Scotland. We did get the ceremony videod and had a photographer so there was a video and photos for our families to see.

I think we went with Thomsons but it was almost 10 years ago so I am not totally sure.

Weddings and Honeymoons abroad

Ive been having a look and i think i have decided that it is too much hard work and would like to find a church local to us and just invite family. if they come then fine and if they dont then its up to them.

still not gonna have a reception though coz we are billy no mates.lol

Why dont you just have a meal for your mum and mil something nice but not too expensive?

Weddings are so emotive.

My DH and I eloped last year after 19 years together - everyone who loves us and is important to us totally got why we did it that way and were just really pleased that we finally got married.

My so called BF on the otherhand got in a right hump about it and we have only spoken once on the phone since!

Invite who you want to be there, not because you feel that you should. It is a really expensive day to feed and water everyone. Ours cost £100 and a nice meal and some bubbly after.

We got married after 20 years of living together. Just parents and one friend invited to register office. Then straight to airport to go off on honeymoon.
Actually I booked the holiday first and then we decided to slot in the wedding.
TBH , any more fuss than that and DH would have said no.